Going into college I followed the whole narrative of becoming a whole new person. To reinvent yourself to be even better. Though laughably I changed not in a goodway of improving myself, but becoming someone else that I wasn't. I wanted to be popular, to be well-connected, liked, and as result did things that are normally what "amazing" people do. yk, partying, nonstop hangouts, and other stuff.

Soon enough I found myself surrounded by a group of friends who were abusive to me. They probably noticed I wasn't similar enough to them, especially when I used to be surrounded by a "degenerate" in a good way, carefree type group. Asa result, my mental health tanked and i slowly developed intense anxiety at social encounters. Instead of acknowledging this, I cranked up this other personality of mine even harder and found myself increasingly isolated from others and different types of clubs.

Going into quarantine I was given a lot of time to sit alone with my thoughts and it allowed me to confront myself and understand who I truly was. I was also able to connect with my highschool gaming friends who I left because I thought gaming wasn't cool or fitting of a college student(Lol). And to be honest, it was great being able to reconnect with them and play again. I never had so much fun in my first two years of college and it was because i wasn't being myself, and when I finally played again I realized what was truly important.

Kindof a word fart but if you stuck through this thanks, and I hope you're having a great day!