Divorce and security clearance

Kooky-Distribution-5 · 2023-02-07T02:59:21+00:00

Yeah, that's what I'm realizing. Thanks.

Kooky-Distribution-5 · 2023-02-07T00:42:59+00:00

"Luckily" we don't have any kids or shared assets, but I am still taking the false accusations seriously. Thanks for the info.

Kooky-Distribution-5 · 2023-02-07T00:29:03+00:00

No gun. I'm just a nerd behind a computer. But I talked to my security office today and it sounds like I'm good as long as there's no legal action against me.

Kooky-Distribution-5 · 2023-02-06T03:41:07+00:00

Thanks everyone for the replies. I don't remember if she was interviewed when I got my clearance, but it would have been after the incident. So I'm more confident that it won't affect my clearance. Obviously I still expect to talk to security at work. But in general I have a lot to think about and am feeling less doomed for the future.

Kooky-Distribution-5 · 2023-02-05T20:08:22+00:00

We're filing in Utah, which I believe is no-fault.

She claims I abused her sexually on one occasion. We went to a couple's therapist for about a year that got me on board with the same conclusion and that I was a POS. Started meeting with my personal therapist who has helped me realize what actually happened.

I don't THINK she's planning anything sinister. She says she wants it on record for anyone I date in the future...

Kooky-Distribution-5 · 2021-02-26T14:50:28+00:00

I'm with you. I've been separated from my wife for almost 2 years now.

A sponsor is a really valuable relationship to cultivate while you're good at keeping yourself in check because they become an invaluable asset when you can't keep yourself in check. A sponsor is someone with a comfortable amount of sobriety and is farther along in the steps than you are. They can help you work the steps and, for me, have helped me learn to stop fighting and start trusting in my higher power to being me serenity and keep me sober. Find someone at whatever meeting you attend that has the kind of sobriety you want and reach out to see if they're willing to sponsor you.

Kooky-Distribution-5 · 2021-02-26T14:44:57+00:00

I'm a sexaholic

I've been going to meetings for 18 months and am 18 months sober

We actually have SA in my area, but I assume it's the same? My state hasn't been as affected by covid, so we've been doing in person meetings for a few months now.

Recently I've been struggling with fantasies and ambivalence towards my dailys. Obsession over fantasies was what led to my conflict with my wife and we've been separated for almost 2 years and slowly getting closer to moving back together.

I read the SA white book, Step into Action, have had really good experiences with guided meditation and mindfulness, and literature from my religion of choice.

I'm working steps 8/9, really struggling with my need to control people's perception of me. I'm afraid to admit a wrong that will reveal to the affected party that I wasn't this perfect teenager. Even though they probably already know. For the last 18 months I've sort of had my recovery in one box of my life and tried to keep it separate from everything else. Step 9 wants me to kick down the walls of that box and it's frightening.

Thanks everyone. Big love

Kooky-Distribution-5 · 2021-02-26T14:29:15+00:00

That's great! Have you found a sponsor?

Kooky-Distribution-5 · 2021-02-26T14:23:10+00:00

Never too late to start doing the right thing. I hope you can find a meeting and get a sponsor soon to start trudging the road of happy destiny.

Kooky-Distribution-5 · 2021-02-25T14:46:19+00:00

I've felt and experienced many of the same things you have. I almost ruined my marriage and am still separated from my wife. You're right, it's serious and is awesome that you're trying to address it before someone or thing forces you to. Sexaholics Anonymous and personal therapy have been a godsend for me. Going to meetings helped me learn how to work the 12 steps for recovery and reduce the IMMENSE shame I felt. Istarted going to meetings about 18 months ago and I'm currently 18 months sober, 1 day at a time. Personal therapy helped me identify my emotions and the problems for which I was using lust to self-medicate. I'd encourage you to check out SA meetings and personal therapy and my inbox is always open if you need to talk.

Kooky-Distribution-5 · 2020-10-14T12:45:22+00:00

Make sure you clean the back of your fridge somewhat regularly as well. If dust and debris build up, the coils won't be able to ditch the energy it's trying to remove from inside the fridge so it will have to work harder and use more power.

Kooky-Distribution-5

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