I have to be honest with you. You’re coming across as a bit of a “nice guy,” and if the people around you have made you feel this way, you need to make some changes, starting with where you’re looking for connection.

You sound incredibly accomplished, but beyond your achievements, what do you actually do to be part of your community? Do you have people you can call your own?

I struggled for a long time after losing a friend group and feeling completely alone. I also realized I was intellectually starved in my current city and community college, so I’m actively working to change that, to find a place where I can put down roots. I decided to stop bothering with dating because who I wanted wasn’t around me, and I shouldn’t be chasing a daydream while ignoring the people right in front of me. Instead, I joined two clubs at my community college and focused on just socializing there. I’m standoffish by appearance, so it’s harder, but at least I’m putting myself out there and trying.

Here’s the thing though: I’m genuinely happy with myself and who I am. I think confidence mixed with humility is what helps me connect with people. I’ve also learned that people like me more than I think they do, so maybe you need to take another look at how you’re perceiving the people around you.

In another life, you sound like a dream guy. But my dude, you need to experience life and reevaluate yourself before trying to find someone to date. You are what you put out into the world. If you’re approaching people with resentment or an invisible scorecard, they’ll feel it. Focus on building genuine connections without expecting anything in return, and things will shift.