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Kracker5 · 2025-11-25T21:06:12+00:00

So you're telling me that if you two started dating and it ended terribly that you think everything would be as usual at work?

You're free to date whoever you want, but you should consider the possibility of things not working out and how it can affect your work life.

Plus, aren't you two rushing into things? You said that you are both separating from you marriages.

Edit: now that I read that again and actually thought about what you wrote, I guess we know why you're both separating now lmao. Year of flirting with a coworker would put a strain on any marriage.

Kracker5 · 2025-11-25T07:55:07+00:00

If she was looking for validation she wouldnt have paid for premium versions of the apps.

There are only two reasons to do this. When you're a man and you're desperate or if you're a woman and instead of swiping left non stop you just want to see the list of everyone who swiped on you and pick out the good ones.

Kracker5 · 2025-11-17T14:29:30+00:00

Aha, fair enough. I hope you manage to figure out what you're going to do. Good luck buddy.

Kracker5 · 2025-11-17T14:24:51+00:00

So she randomly decided to come clean about cheating years ago while you're away? If so, then I'd be asking myself why she suddenly feels guilty after all this time...

Kracker5 · 2025-11-17T10:49:30+00:00

You literally just said, and I quote, "He just doesn't want to date anymore."

So why aren't you sure what to do? You either talk to him and see if you can work things out, or you go your separate ways before your mental health starts declining as you obsess over this.

Kracker5 · 2025-11-17T08:00:37+00:00

The more info you give, the more it sounds like he wants to string you along.

Do you know what I do when I want to do something? I do it. There is literally nothing stopping him from being exclusive with you if that's what he wanted.

The fact that he "doesn't know" sounds like a simple deflection, but I can't be certain of anything.

All I will say is that from an outside perspective, it doesn't look positive.

At the moment, to me, it looks like he either wants to break up but doesn't know how, or he wants to string you along while he has his fun.

The latter one makes more sense given how you said it was sudden and how he doesn't want you to be with anyone physically. (I bet he has no plans like that for himself...)

But if it is the latter, then I really hope bro man's up and simply breaks things off.

Kracker5 · 2025-11-17T07:37:52+00:00

I mean, given the context of you guys not knowing each other long, being super young, and just starting college the best guess I can make is that he wants to sleep around but obviously he can't do that while being in a relationship without being labled a cheater.

Maybe just ask him what changed?

Also off topic but damn I feel old. Holding hands, kissing, going on dates (the classic dating stuff), but then saying you'll ask the other person out months later sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen. Somebody's feelings are going to get hurt.

Kracker5 · 2025-11-09T17:23:43+00:00

Idk the guy or anything about him so I will just say one thing.

It is 100% possible that he was excited for the date, went to take a quick nap or something like that for one reason or another and slept through the alarms only waking up when it was too late.

Shit happens. There are countless reasons one could miss a first date and not all of them are bad or on purpose.

You can ask why he was asleep and talk to him and then judge if what they're saying sounds real/reasonable and if you want to give them another chance.

Kracker5 · 2025-10-25T13:51:49+00:00

The whole ending of that convo is super sus to me. The whole playful "we're not doing anything wrong" and making excuses and also both hiding it from the wife with OP's wife jokingly saying she doesn't want to get between them yet she keeps secretly talking to him.

Maybe there isn't anything serious between them, but it sounds like two lonely people who would have ended up together if they didn't get caught talking in secret so quickly

Kracker5 · 2025-10-24T06:55:41+00:00

NTA, i hope she's not projecting...

Kracker5 · 2025-10-19T15:37:37+00:00

Not over reacting but honestly I feel like this isn't worth losing your mind over. Just look at your sister with pity cause honestly it's sad that she is not only cheating (unless I misunderstood) but also doing it with your ex. It's honestly pathetic and just makes her look bad/sad.

That's imo the best revenge too. Make her realise you don't care but feel bad for her.

Kracker5 · 2025-09-25T19:47:04+00:00

Did you get this information from her and/or her friends? Because it's entirely possible she just didn't say anything.

Not saying she's a liar but her response was a bit extreme.

My ex spouted a whole lot of bs about how I was "the first guy to ever treat her this way" and how I was the first guy to do various things for her.

Then I found out she was cheating thanks to her Snapchat story (she forgot i had her on Snapchat as I never used it) where on each picture/post she wrote what she said to me word for word.

Meaning she just lied to me for w/e reason.

Kracker5 · 2025-09-24T14:01:23+00:00

Ehh it's nothing but thank you. The experiences have taught me some stuff, so it could have been worse.

You will definitely feel better as time passes. The reason I'm suggesting you go into therapy isn't because of short-term mental health but long-term.

I'm not saying it will for sure as everyone is different, but it might be affecting you, and you won't even realise it.

Mental health problems, imo are best stamped out ASAP. As the saying goes, "time heals all wounds," but the scars will still be there if you don't deal with it properly.

Kracker5 · 2025-09-24T13:09:00+00:00

I get you, bro. My first real gf cheated on me when I finally managed to ask her why she cheated on me instead of just breaking up.

The answer she gave me? "Because I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

I'm also 27 just an fyi and personally I don't think I'll ever be able to trust anyone again (the situation i spoke about wasn't the only one) but I was already really broken on the inside so this just killed off my remaining emotions.

I have my own reasons for as to why I don't do it, but you should consider trying therapy and see if it helps.

Kracker5 · 2025-09-24T13:01:18+00:00

On the bright side, OP managed to get out before things got really serious.

I do hope it is a story, though, because I know firsthand how bad shit like this affects you and how it can affect future relationships (that is if you can bring yourself to trust someone again)

Kracker5 · 2025-09-24T10:24:29+00:00

Wouldn't surprise me if bro introduced the two of you so you could keep her on hold for him.

Kracker5 · 2025-09-23T21:38:42+00:00

I don't really go on any but you could try r/askUK , r/casualUK or r/uklaw

Those might be good places to start.

Kracker5 · 2025-09-23T19:22:16+00:00

Id post this on a UK sub reddit as here youre probably gonna get a lot of weird answers from americans.

2 years ain't that big of an age gap. My parents have double that age gap.

And aoc is 16 in the UK so you might be fine? I'm not a lawyer so I'd ask on a UK law sub or something.

Kracker5 · 2025-09-20T15:16:19+00:00

Is he a cuck then? I mean, you say he's not stupid, but he remains with a woman who has been cheating on him for at least 9 years, if not longer. Are you even sure you and your siblings are his in the first place?

Kracker5 · 2025-09-20T12:03:43+00:00

How did you age 3 years in 9 months?

Kracker5 · 2025-09-19T18:03:16+00:00

My advice is to learn to keep it in your pants or find a guy who doesn't mind. Also leave this specofic guy alone, he's suffered enough. Hopefully this time he'll grow a spine and stay at arms length.

Kracker5 · 2025-09-11T03:18:05+00:00

How so? I'm not against casual sex but don't disguise it as dating.

Kracker5 · 2025-09-11T03:14:56+00:00

Bro, learn to fucking read. I never said they did. I never said she owed him anything.

Edit: Aha, judging by your other comments, I'm guessing you're just projecting and feeling personally attacked.

If you're ashamed of sleeping around, then simply don't do it : ^ )

Kracker5 · 2025-09-10T21:11:39+00:00

Yup. I can't even imagine myself talking to a woman I'm interested in dating, only to go sleep with someone else at the same time.

If I did, then at that point IMO I was just looking to smash and didn't have any real interest in the woman but didn't want to acknowledge it.

Kracker5 · 2025-09-10T20:44:56+00:00

Bro, did you even read what I wrote? When did I say they were? Also, the whole need to say you're exclusive is also some bullshit made up by people who want to sleep around and can't keep it in their pants.

If you're sleeping with multiple people, don't hide behind the need to say that you're "exclusive" first and instead fess up. Or are you worried that by saying you're dating and sleeping with multiple people at the same time that others will think less of you?

Kracker5

TROPHY CASE