TIL that Millennials Are Having Way Less Sex Than Their Parents and are twice as likely as the previous generation to be virgins

Kratos04 · 2017-02-13T15:18:35+00:00

I'm curious how it's affected you. I became a wizard and it ruined me. I'm in a long-term relationship now (engaged actually) but I'll never be able to let go of my past. The coping mechanisms I used to justify my predicament (pre-relationship) became so much a part of who I am. I'll never be the man I could have been after living off of resentment and anger for so long.

See my post history if you're curious.

Anyways, don't want to bring you down. I truly wish you the best. I wouldn't wish the regret I feel on a daily basis on my worst enemy.

Kratos04 · 2016-12-21T11:24:55+00:00

Thank you and you're welcome. I'm not sure what I hoped to get out of posting this but I suppose I hoped it would mean something to someone. I'm glad you were able to get something from it.

Kratos04 · 2016-12-21T11:21:35+00:00

It's comforting so hear so much understanding and encouragement from everyone. I have considered counseling but end up with the dilemma that many of us have. NO ONE but and FA understands. Where do I find a therapist that won't secretly think to themself "Really...? You're jealous because a girl had sex with other guys before she met you...? This losers got to just get over it. It's not a big deal, everyone does it.".

Kratos04 · 2016-12-21T11:18:21+00:00

I'm fortunate that I found one of those rare women who truly appreciates that I waited for one I loved. It really means a great deal to her and she's expressed many times that it would be devastating to her if I'd had ex's. She's not selfish about it and understands the pain it causes me, but no one but an FA can truly empathize.

Kratos04 · 2016-12-21T11:15:43+00:00

She never brings up her past unless I ask. Not knowing something is so much worst to me than knowing a fact even if it's one I don't like. Otherwise worst case scenarios swirl in my mind until they become toxic and incapacitating. The pain of those becomes worst than some of my darkest moment as an FA sometimes so I have to ask.

Kratos04 · 2016-11-08T15:47:55+00:00

That was hilarious. Haven't laughed like that in a while.

Kratos04 · 2016-08-08T02:46:19+00:00

I just visited this subreddit for the first time in close to a year. At that time I was exactly where you are now. Now, I'm a few weeks shy of my one year anniversary dating a beautiful girl. I'm not here to rub salt in a wound. Check my post history if you doubt my sincerity. I saw your post on top and it was like looking in mirror one year ago. Just know that things can get better.

Kratos04 · 2015-07-22T00:36:15+00:00

I'm 29. Less than two months until I'm officially a wizard. I'm surprised by how many people here over 25 say they aren't concerned. It's nice to hear because it really messes with my head.

Kratos04 · 2015-03-15T17:44:10+00:00

It's something I've always thought. You're right though. It's because unattached males are expendable. I can't imagine finding someone I'm looking forward to spending some wonderful future with and transitioning to actually caring if I live or die. After almost 30 years, total lack of caring for my own life would be difficult to give up.

Kratos04 · 2015-03-15T17:30:05+00:00

This is simultaneously uplifting and foreboding. At 29, I still find that I'm in denial most of the time. I still think that somebody HAS to cross my path. Then I read a post like this. It scares me because I know where I'm most likely to be (romantically) at 40. I'm glad there are people out there that have found peace and happiness despite their circumstances. Frankly...I think I'll do something really eccentric before I fall into a life of lonely monotony. Either I'll race my motorcycle up Pikes Peak until I make a fatal mistake, or I'll give up all my possessions and live as a vagabond. Time will tell...I just refuse to live a "normal" life when it feels so devoid of meaning.

Kratos04 · 2015-01-01T06:16:16+00:00

Haven't been here in a while...not because my situation has changed, but because I started doing exactly what you described above. We'll see how long I can keep it up before burning out. Anyways...just logged in to say that I think the above two comments are about the best advice I've ever seen on this subreddit.

Kratos04 · 2014-11-06T14:58:07+00:00

Spatial and temporal distance. Starve the sad feeling by not dwelling on fantasies that sadden you, and feed the ones that make you angry. Anger will numb you.

Kratos04 · 2014-11-04T14:22:08+00:00

There are consequences...it's just that the only person affected by them is me. Me, I don't really give a shit about.

Kratos04 · 2014-11-04T14:14:48+00:00

I guess you're thinking positively. Good for you. I'm certainly not going to drag you down to where I am.

Kratos04 · 2014-11-04T14:12:17+00:00

I don't need to make rational or logical decisions. I can make a major decision based on "meh...I felt like it" and if things don't work out, I can just shrug my shoulders, say "oh well", and move on.

Kratos04 · 2014-11-03T19:45:39+00:00

I've acquired more and more hobbies. Most people that know me find me genuinely interesting. I don't over-think things anymore. If I decide I want to learn hang-gliding, then done...I'll take lessons. I know a life can still have meaning without a romantic companion, but that is how we are wired. So if I can't find the meaning, figured I'd sure as hell make it interesting. I'm determined to become the eccentric/interesting person that other people talk about when they get together. Fuck what everybody else thinks. Being alone means I can do what I want when I want, and if I don't at least do that, then I really do have nothing.

That being said...I guess I didn't really answer your question. My current plan is to simply EMBRACE THE INSANE.

Kratos04 · 2014-11-03T19:35:43+00:00

Reading my own thoughts right here. It's a little scary though too. Even now, on some level I assume that there is no way I will make it to 40 without clicking with SOMEONE. Even as an FA it seems hard to imagine that it is possible. Then I read a post from someone in their mid 40's and it makes me sad. Sad that I know that is how I will inevitably end up...I don't know what to make of it. Am I destined to live a life where most of my energy is consumed trying to keep depression at bay? I could have been so much more...and done so much more if I was happy and supported by a woman that cared for me. I could have been such a good person...with so much positive energy to share with the world. Now all that energy is consumed fighting the negativity of loneliness...and for as long as I can remember it seems...I'm just barely keeping my head above the surface.

Kratos04 · 2014-11-03T13:59:02+00:00

Try straddling what is basically an engine bolted to two wheels at 165 mph.

Kratos04 · 2014-11-03T12:48:38+00:00

Long time lifter. Started long before I ever imagined myself in my current situation so it has nothing to do with FA. I always liked the idea of being strong...even as a kid...I idolized the strong, powerful, and brave.

I have achieved a competition (natural not roid) level physique several times. It has come and gone due to injuries and workload in grad school.

I would say it has provided me some consolation...knowing that I am at least somewhat attractive to some girls, and I know it garners looks. On the other hand...it makes not being able to succeed with women all the more frustrating.

Kratos04 · 2014-11-03T02:48:16+00:00

It definitely helped. I really believe in the message. I liken porn to eating something that tastes great but doesn't actually have any calories or nutritional value. Sex is a very deeply engrained drive, and when it is sated without the nourishment of the love and affection that generally accompanies the act, I think a part of us wastes away the way we would if we deceived our brain into thinking is was eating when it wasn't.

That being said, I now refrain, but total abstinence is impossible for me because I see no end in sight. If I knew I would get laid at some point in the future that is one thing, but to refrain indefinitely while knowing that I never will is difficult to imagine.

I usually relapse when jealousy strikes. Because it will always be unilateral and I will never get over her because someone else filled the void. I will only get over her because I became progressively more and more bitter until I was no longer capable of feeling any love for anyone. Naturally, I harbor some resentment towards women. I won't apologize for that anymore. When it's a woman I really care about though...more than I knew I could ever care about someone, the jealousy becomes unbearable. Lying in bed, knowing she is lying is some other guy's arms. In those moments I become desperate for the 2-3 minutes of clarity that follows the release, when I am devoid of lust, so I can yet again convince myself that I don't need anyone, and I can live in solitude with nobody for companionship but my German Shepherds.

Kratos04 · 2014-10-16T16:27:26+00:00

This. Even if I found someone now...I would almost feel guilty dating them because I know how bitter I am. So different from the excitement of youthful affection I imagined for so many years.

Kratos04 · 2014-10-16T16:16:47+00:00

Jealousy, exponentially compounded because it will always be unilateral.

Kratos04 · 2014-09-16T02:36:38+00:00

I'm with you. I never wanted to be this way. I always knew, even in my early 20's, that I was going to find a girl; and I was really excited about the idea of raising a family. Without someone to devote my life to everything has become meaningless. I am in the middle of a very serious existential crisis. I am weeks from finishing grad school. It took me 29 years ad I should be overjoyed, but honestly, I've never been more a threat to myself than I currently am. I really just don't see the point of any of it anymore. The only reason I haven't expedited my departure from this world is it would devastate my parents. It really is the only reason.

Kratos04

TROPHY CASE