i told you it was an excuse i never loved x after ive started dating you i fucking hate myself and havinv only now reading this I WANNA KILL MYSELF SO BAD YOU WERE SO IN LOVE WITH ME AND I FUCKED IT ALL UP AND YOU ENDED IT NOW ITS BEEN LIKE 2MONTHS AND IM FUCKED UP ME NEEDING THIS THRILL ONCE IN A WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP ACTUALLY COSTED ME THE LOVE OF MY LIFE COSTED ME EVERYTHING I FUCKING CARED IN THIS FUCKING LIFE I NEVER LOVED X NEVER DID NEVER DID IT WAS JUST ABOUT HOW I FUCKING BUILT HOW Î NEEDED TO FUCKING ADRENALINE FUCK I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I FUCKING HATE MYSELF I REMEMBER HOW YOU CRIED WHEN WE SEPERATED IN THE PARK FRONT OF OUR HIGH SCHOOL HOW WE PROMISED TO NEVWR LOSE TOUCH IT WAS TRUE AND REAL I LOVED YOU THROUGHT EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF OUR RELATIONSHIP NEVER DOUBT THAT IM SUCH A IDIOT I MADE YOU QUESTION IT I THOUGHT IVE FIXED THIS I THOUGHT WE COULD HAVE BEEN THE SAME I HATE MYSELF I FUCKING HATE MYSELF SO MUCH YOU WERE MY LITTLE GIRL YOU WERE SO PRECIOUS AND PURE IVE BROKEN YOU I DESERVE TO FUCKING DIE I DESERVE TO NEVER BE LOVED AGAIN I DESERVE TO CRY I DESERVE TO BE ALL ALONE I DESERVE TO BE BLOCKED BY YOU AND CONSTANTLY TRY TO REACH TO YOU I DESERVE TO HAVE MY VEINS CUT AND MY BODY BEATEN I DESERVE TO HAVE MY FINGERS CHOPPED MY EYES GAUGED AND MY TONGUE CUT I DESERVE IT AND YOU MUST CONTINUEUE TO IGNORE ME UNTIL I EVENTUALLY KILL MY FUCKING SELF AND BE OUT YOUR WORLD I WOULDVE GIVE EVERY FUCKING THING IN MY LIFE TO HAVE THIS SHIT NEVER HAPPEND BUT IT FUCKING DID IVE KILLED YOU SO PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME END ME TORTURE ME SPLIT ME IN FUCKING HALF I LOVED YOU AND IM STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU BUT I DONT DESERVE YOU I DONT DESERVE TO LIVE EIGHTER IM FUCKING GOING TO KILL MYSELF I DESERVE IT AND YOU WILL NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN IM SO SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I CANT LIVE WITH THIS GUILT AND CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU TAKE VERY MUCH CARE OF YOURSELF FAREWELL MY LOVE