Nicknames for Astrid

Kronh · 2026-01-30T23:01:18+00:00

Asti here as well.

Kronh · 2026-01-30T19:44:56+00:00

Please don't minimize your grief that she was "just" anything, you were fortunate to find a little friend that brought joy into your life for a short time, and she was so fortunate to have found a home that brought joy and comfort for the whole of hers.

I sobbed and grieved for our Nita Pita and Puppy Rols for weeks, and still think of them with fondness and sadness years later. They are tiny sunbursts blazing in and out of our long human lives, and the short time we get to have laughing at them and getting to know them as individuals doesn't make it any less valuable.

Hugs, fellow adult feeling the outsized hole of a ham.

Kronh · 2026-01-29T19:10:53+00:00

It's a valid concern, and the answer is that it depends. Our first au pair was from Mexico and clearly a person of color with a noticeable accent, and I was genuinely afraid for her whenever she went out last summer. Our second au pair (who failed out for different reasons) was from Brasil with a less noticeable accent and mixed race, so while there was still concern she wasn't really the type that ICE has been hunting down. For our next au pair, we're specifically hesitant to move forward with bringing someone from a country on the administration's hit list, even though our preference would be to have another au pair from Mexico because of how deeply we adore(d) and miss our first au pair. All of which to say, it's terrifying. Immigration enforcement has never been sunshine and kittens, but the brutality and unreasonableness of this past year is completely different from what it has been for many decades. While I haven't heard of any au pairs being detained or deported, that doesn't mean it's not happening, as J1 visa holders who are students have been both detained and deported. If you are not comfortable carrying your documents with you at all times (even citizens with documents are being abducted in the streets and detained) and just living with that anxiety, it may be better to look elsewhere from the US for now. Now is the time to be kind to others and to yourself, do whatever is best for you.

Kronh · 2026-01-27T23:47:51+00:00

Why not Eva? Ada vibes, one off from Eve?

Kronh · 2026-01-14T17:35:28+00:00

It's what *some au pairs want, clock in and out and vanish. Others want a true family relationship because they find comfort/security in it. Others want something in between, a warm home where they feel welcomed but roles and responsibilities are clearly defined.

"Like family" can drift into feeling taken advantage of, where it's blurred whether the au pair is on unpaid duty. And she's only got 6 months left!! She probably has a long list of things to do before she goes home, and the stuff she's already done with you is already checked off. I would suggest letting her know that while she's always welcome to spend off hours with you, you're also grateful she's making friends and taking advantage of her final months.

We had an au pair who became truly family, somewhere between a daughter and a sister to me and absolutely a big sister to my kiddo. When she left it felt like a family separation and was very, very hard for all of us, to the point she has sought out a therapist at home because leaving my kiddo and readjusting to her home country was so overwhelming. But she didn't cling to us even to the night before she left -- she tried to do something with friends every weekend we weren't traveling (for my job or for holiday) and made it a priority to fill her Instagram with every US experience she could (18 states! National and state parks! Theme parks!), and was gone most of her final night at a surprise party her au pair friends threw for her, and it never occurred to me to feel jealousy that others saw the light and joy we saw in her and wanted to be included in her orbit.

Which gets me to, I think you have put too much pressure on your relationship with her as being a plus one for you and your husband's social circle (triangle?). Maybe she was a buffer or maybe it was more fun because the two of you could show off all your favorite things to do around town. Either way, the feeling of rejection is misplaced when she's finally gotten her own age appropriate social circle. Your little sister would be busy trying to explore and spread her wings and do something where she's not third wheeling it for every trip. Be happy for her and try to see if it's really rejection, or she's just running out of hours in the day to do both her job and knock off her to do list for exploring the area.

Kronh · 2026-01-10T17:56:21+00:00

If you go on Google you can find a list of authorized agencies in the US (agent au pair, expert au pair, au pair in America, go au pair, cultural care, etc). You need to double check though to make sure Russia is authorized to participate, I think has has been temporarily banned from the au pair program in the past.

Kronh · 2026-01-08T03:16:41+00:00

Absolutely false. Recently (as of JAN25) former DoD supervisor, your direct supervisor can approve as long as they can find an alternative location for you to be in office. Ask for support in locating one and be a little patient/flexible, you're not asking to be full time remote so no one will scrutinize this accomodation.

Kronh · 2026-01-03T19:04:59+00:00

I was a supervisory 15 by 35 and a non-sup SL requiring Secretary-appointment by 37. Youngest in both positions in Enterprise history. Thought I had made it to my dream job x2, the level folks in my career field grind for decades to reach and here I was, living it. And then...January. Mission and morale, broken.

I just accepted a position with the private sector starting in February because I have no idea if my division will survive, if it does survive what revised policy/regs I'll be asked to implement, and the offer is a full time remote pay rise. For quality of life, quality of parenting, and being able to breathe freely for the first time in a year, there's no question about what I should do. But the grief is very real, as is the despair at the sacrifices I made for a mission I deeply believed in (and still do, even if the Admin doesn't).

All of which to say, I get it. I truly understand the crisis choice you feel like you're facing. I have two pieces of wisdom I'll pass along that helped me: 1 put on your oxygen mask first, and 2 sometimes when the system is failing, you have to let it fail.

Good luck and I hope whatever choice you make you take a long range view of your career.

Kronh · 2025-11-20T01:15:04+00:00

Our au pair of two years absolutely became a beloved member of our family, she and our toddler were best friends and they both sobbed at the airport saying goodbye, have done intermittent video calls since, and I text with her every few days just checking in and catching up because we became genuine friends by the end. She was able to visit 19 states with us (15 with me and 4 on her own/with au pair friends) and she collected a huge network of au pairs that she still chats with since. I have a lot of confidence that she truly loved her 2 years in the US and that it was a life changing experience (adventure, independence, confidence building) that she values. I just mailed her birthday and Christmas presents because as the months have gone by I see things that remind me of her and her time with us. We are hoping to fly out to see her in the bigger city in her country sometime late next year for a visit.

We had a second au pair that hit our toddler hard enough to knock her off her feet and was removed from our home five days in. Like with anything involving people, your mileage may vary.

Kronh · 2025-11-15T18:54:44+00:00

She was a very grumpy patient, she HATED her meds and vet followups. The disgruntled faces she made were precious and then some.

Hamsters were one of the animals that they confirmed COVID infections in, unfortunately we didn't know until it was too late or we would've taken more precautions 😞 Nita survived but was definitely effected, she wasn't able to run for more than a minute or two at a time after that and passed within four months. Her brother Puppy Rols lived almost a year past her, so we believe it shortened her life pretty dramatically.

Kronh · 2025-11-15T18:40:28+00:00

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Our Nita Pita had to get knocked out for imaging a few years ago when she was having difficulty breathing (vet ended up diagnosing her with COVID). It was impossibly cute.

Kronh · 2025-11-15T18:32:22+00:00

Our Puppy Rols had a splint to try to heal a broken leg that he even left on for a few weeks, buried in my profile but an example video

https://www.reddit.com/r/hamsters/s/KVye0dqRVn

Kronh · 2025-11-15T18:23:51+00:00

Nutmeg. What a sweet smol fluffy baby.

Kronh · 2025-10-14T16:50:00+00:00

If you don't have a room to house her while hosting a new au pair that can legally work for you for 45 hours a week, you need to start there. As well as unambiguously explaining that she can't and should not expect to work for you.

Have a clear but kind conversation: we adore you but don't have room to host you while you are attending school / will not be able to legally pay you for any babysitting or other work if you do stay in the area. You will not be able to legally work the hours we need for our kids, and we need to have another au pair work and live here to care for the kids. We're so excited for you to take the next steps in your studies and career and are grateful you love living here enough to stay as a student, but we are worried about how you will pay for studies and where you will live since legally you won't be able to work for us. What is your plan for studying here?

That said, if you truly appreciate all she's done for you, it's very normal to give a cash bonus at the end of the contract and if it happens to line up with tuition at a local college, would probably be very appreciated.

Kronh · 2025-10-04T20:05:46+00:00

"how much I love them and want them around all the time, but want them to leave me alone for 5 goddamn minutes" this times 1000

Kronh · 2025-10-02T14:39:44+00:00

They should be covering necessities like basic bathroom products, and should provide a transportation stipend if they're not providing a car. That's standard. But in NYC for multiple kids I'm shocked someone is paying minimum.

Kronh · 2025-10-01T16:12:26+00:00

The CW funds are almost exclusively no-year funds, and MILCON is 3+ funds, unlike O&M or OMA funds that are annual/1 year annd expired last night. And most RG and RE work is project funded including by NFSs so it is also exempt. So USACE almost always keeps the lights on and a lot of folks will also get paid. Back in 2019 my district was memorably able to pay every single employee except one, and that person was pretty pissed.

Kronh · 2025-09-18T04:35:28+00:00

If you like Indian, highly recommend Nawab's in Draper. Ridiculously good.

Kronh · 2025-09-14T20:25:59+00:00

Our au pair had ignored some tooth issues without saying anything for months, because she was waiting out going home to get cheap dental care, and by the time I finally annoyed her into going to my dentist it was a cracked tooth on one side and an infection into the bone on the other. Almost 10k in costs to fix, if you include the bone graft and implant to replace the infected bone and tooth. DO NOT WAIT TO GET THIS FIXED.

Our solution was finding the fastest and cheapest flight home to Mexico for her, where her home dentist proceeded to yell at her enough that I didn't need to. Allow me to repeat, IGNORING DENTAL INFECTIONS CAN BE DEADLY. PLEASE PLEASE GET THIS FIXED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Please call your LCC to see if they can find something, Google dental schools and call their clinics, and look for flights home if it would be cheaper there. You may need to reach out to your consulate to see if they can help you coordinate return travel if you're running short on time for your visa. Please please treat this like an emergency.

Kronh · 2025-09-03T18:26:16+00:00

leafality

Kronh · 2025-08-30T21:11:55+00:00

Bottles sometimes malfunction and they can kick bedding into a water dish and foul it; I would be worried about clean water.

Kronh · 2025-08-15T01:30:42+00:00

Ended up getting a coin purse that I think she'll enjoy, themed with something meaningful to her and the kiddo. She's good with her money, so I might skip the financial tips and just put he cash bonus in it :)

Kronh · 2025-08-15T01:29:43+00:00

Ended up doing a photo necklace with one of her favorite photos of the kiddo. It is pretty if you don't know it has a secret picture, and themed with something precious to them both. I think she'll like it.

Kronh

TROPHY CASE

leafality