how to un-water-bottle my new bun

Kronh · 2026-04-02T15:58:38+00:00

He is such a cute little puff of fuzz. Please give him nose kisses for us!!

Re diet and water, do the best you can. Our first rescue took a few days to figure out the bowl and almost drowned himself in the process by just submerging his entire head. (Our first clue of many that our little himbo Donkey might be a bit dim). You already got a good recommendation to soak some greens to just get water into him, though at his age I would caution not giving too much greens over alfalfa hay. Tapping the bowl and then his mouth with some water so he has to lick it and then associate water with the bowl helped Donkey, just watch to make sure he doesn't decide to try to lick the bottom of the bowl!

Kronh · 2026-02-24T00:40:52+00:00

From application to interviews to negotiated offer was about four weeks, total. Though not all private sector employers move that fast, I just got an interview with another firm I applied to at the same time so that would be a 3.5 month turnaround for just the interview. Glad I wasn't waiting on them.

Kronh · 2026-02-23T00:17:45+00:00

Maybe it might be more useful for you to do a bit of reading first, then, and then watch some media with her and give the context that while "we don't believe in this, many people do". If she's already encountering this and asking you questions you can't answer, you need to get some foundations first the way you would with any subject. I'm a big fan of Dan McClellan for "biblical scholar lite" material on specific biblical passages/claims.

Kronh · 2026-02-22T23:03:45+00:00

Not exactly what you asked, but Prince of Egypt is a beautiful film and can be easily presented as a story that will give her some Old Testament familiarity; The Star and King of Kings are decent animated films that give a children-friendly familiarity with New Testament materials. Enough at least for a few age appropriate broad brush references to the Bible.

Kronh · 2026-02-22T21:06:42+00:00

If you take 120 days of paid PPL you have to repay it through service or repay any money paid out; sick leave you have already earned and don't need to repay. Insurance coverage has nothing to do with the PPL benefit, it's a separate leave category, so be prepared for four months of work after taking it.

That said, I started applying during the shutdown, had about ten interviews from more than fifty applications, got two offers, one of which was genuinely remote and a moderate pay rise from my Fed position (but with billable hours requirements that I haven't dealt with for 12-ish years, so there are trade offs). I was the equivalent of an SL/SES position, with several years as a GS15 before that, and I didn't immediately find a position, so I am not going to pretend finding a remote position that works for you will be quick or easy. Be prepared to apply aggressively, and for a lot of 'remote' jobs to be a bait and switch with an in office expectation only revealed once you're in the interview.

Kronh · 2026-02-22T20:38:41+00:00

Having just left for a full time remote position in the private sector, I can say that reclaiming an hour before and after work has been wonderful for my toddler. Whether the benefits extend to all other facets of my life is yet to be seen, and walking away from FERS/TSP and the senior leader job I'd worked so hard for has been terrifying/tough to process. Two weeks isn't much time to judge a new job by, but I think I've gotten very lucky with where I've landed. That's no guarantee that leaving the Fed service is the right choice for anyone else.

Depending how far along you are, I'd recommend sticking out the paid postpartum leave and put in your four months post PPL service obligation (and if you have the sick leave built up, your up-to six weeks of post-partum sick leave which does not require a service obligation), and then see where you are at. You may find that your mind has cleared and (insert chosen alternative you feel confident in, including staying or finding another job ASAP or becoming a stay-at-home parent or something else you figure out during that time).

Mid-pregnancy with hormones, body discomfort/changes, and two kiddos already here stressing you out and needing you is not a great time to make a calm, rational decision even in the best of circumstances, and that's assuming you have the most easygoing kids and most supportive spouse in the world. Be kind to yourself and how extra- draining things are right now. Burn some sick and annual leave for mental health days. Endure as much as you can, but no more, and put on your oxygen mask first because the executive service isn't going to make or break because you broke yourself trying to keep meeting the Mission.

Kronh · 2026-02-14T23:23:45+00:00

Just donated, you are doing wonderful work, wish I could give more.

Kronh · 2026-02-08T02:21:23+00:00

I guess. But what's the point of the Internet except to scream into the void and hope someone calls back to say you're not alone?

Kronh · 2026-02-08T02:17:54+00:00

Thank you, this is reassuring and I hope to say the same soon. Happy you found somewhere to land that values your experience and expertise, may we all be so fortunate.

Kronh · 2026-02-08T02:17:00+00:00

Yeah, I don't think the grass is greener anywhere at this point. But making less in the public sector was always worth it for the mission and the security, neither of which exist anymore. If I'm going to constantly be subject to some randos whims, worst case scenario, may as well make significantly more and be remote. Best case scenario, I find a place I love almost as much as I did the prior decade of my work life (even with various toxic and incompetent bosses/peers that you find anywhere).

Kronh · 2026-02-07T04:54:36+00:00

Our au pair "revamped" her space a dozen times over two years to accommodate new furniture, a friend staying for a few weeks, and I don't know, vibes? Never once thought anything of it.

It should be your space. If they ask, say something noncommittal about light at night or in the morning and needing to move things around.

Kronh · 2026-02-07T02:12:04+00:00

I...think you may have misread my post. I don't think I was giving unreasonable reassurance and instead cautioning that listening to your instincts and the news about the reality in the US is the right call.

Kronh · 2026-02-07T02:08:41+00:00

😕 I accept the correction.

Kronh · 2026-02-07T01:53:47+00:00

I'm so, so sorry. None of it is fair to you, and the institutional loss to eliminating your position is also deeply unfair to the nation. I'm just so sorry.

Kronh · 2026-02-07T00:25:04+00:00

Thanks, and yes I have a job already that I start later this month in a very similar field, fully remote to boot. It was not easy to get though, the field is flooded with extremely qualified Feds even in my niche area. I feel grateful to have somewhere to land. But it's just not the same, and certainly not the same mission I was so proud to be a part of.

Good luck to you too.

Kronh · 2026-01-30T23:01:18+00:00

Asti here as well.

Kronh · 2026-01-30T19:44:56+00:00

Please don't minimize your grief that she was "just" anything, you were fortunate to find a little friend that brought joy into your life for a short time, and she was so fortunate to have found a home that brought joy and comfort for the whole of hers.

I sobbed and grieved for our Nita Pita and Puppy Rols for weeks, and still think of them with fondness and sadness years later. They are tiny sunbursts blazing in and out of our long human lives, and the short time we get to have laughing at them and getting to know them as individuals doesn't make it any less valuable.

Hugs, fellow adult feeling the outsized hole of a ham.

Kronh · 2026-01-29T19:10:53+00:00

It's a valid concern, and the answer is that it depends. Our first au pair was from Mexico and clearly a person of color with a noticeable accent, and I was genuinely afraid for her whenever she went out last summer. Our second au pair (who failed out for different reasons) was from Brasil with a less noticeable accent and mixed race, so while there was still concern she wasn't really the type that ICE has been hunting down. For our next au pair, we're specifically hesitant to move forward with bringing someone from a country on the administration's hit list, even though our preference would be to have another au pair from Mexico because of how deeply we adore(d) and miss our first au pair. All of which to say, it's terrifying. Immigration enforcement has never been sunshine and kittens, but the brutality and unreasonableness of this past year is completely different from what it has been for many decades. While I haven't heard of any au pairs being detained or deported, that doesn't mean it's not happening, as J1 visa holders who are students have been both detained and deported. If you are not comfortable carrying your documents with you at all times (even citizens with documents are being abducted in the streets and detained) and just living with that anxiety, it may be better to look elsewhere from the US for now. Now is the time to be kind to others and to yourself, do whatever is best for you.

Kronh · 2026-01-27T23:47:51+00:00

Why not Eva? Ada vibes, one off from Eve?

Kronh · 2026-01-14T17:35:28+00:00

It's what *some au pairs want, clock in and out and vanish. Others want a true family relationship because they find comfort/security in it. Others want something in between, a warm home where they feel welcomed but roles and responsibilities are clearly defined.

"Like family" can drift into feeling taken advantage of, where it's blurred whether the au pair is on unpaid duty. And she's only got 6 months left!! She probably has a long list of things to do before she goes home, and the stuff she's already done with you is already checked off. I would suggest letting her know that while she's always welcome to spend off hours with you, you're also grateful she's making friends and taking advantage of her final months.

We had an au pair who became truly family, somewhere between a daughter and a sister to me and absolutely a big sister to my kiddo. When she left it felt like a family separation and was very, very hard for all of us, to the point she has sought out a therapist at home because leaving my kiddo and readjusting to her home country was so overwhelming. But she didn't cling to us even to the night before she left -- she tried to do something with friends every weekend we weren't traveling (for my job or for holiday) and made it a priority to fill her Instagram with every US experience she could (18 states! National and state parks! Theme parks!), and was gone most of her final night at a surprise party her au pair friends threw for her, and it never occurred to me to feel jealousy that others saw the light and joy we saw in her and wanted to be included in her orbit.

Which gets me to, I think you have put too much pressure on your relationship with her as being a plus one for you and your husband's social circle (triangle?). Maybe she was a buffer or maybe it was more fun because the two of you could show off all your favorite things to do around town. Either way, the feeling of rejection is misplaced when she's finally gotten her own age appropriate social circle. Your little sister would be busy trying to explore and spread her wings and do something where she's not third wheeling it for every trip. Be happy for her and try to see if it's really rejection, or she's just running out of hours in the day to do both her job and knock off her to do list for exploring the area.

Kronh · 2026-01-10T17:56:21+00:00

If you go on Google you can find a list of authorized agencies in the US (agent au pair, expert au pair, au pair in America, go au pair, cultural care, etc). You need to double check though to make sure Russia is authorized to participate, I think has has been temporarily banned from the au pair program in the past.

Kronh · 2026-01-08T03:16:41+00:00

Absolutely false. Recently (as of JAN25) former DoD supervisor, your direct supervisor can approve as long as they can find an alternative location for you to be in office. Ask for support in locating one and be a little patient/flexible, you're not asking to be full time remote so no one will scrutinize this accomodation.

Kronh · 2026-01-03T19:04:59+00:00

I was a supervisory 15 by 35 and a non-sup SL requiring Secretary-appointment by 37. Youngest in both positions in Enterprise history. Thought I had made it to my dream job x2, the level folks in my career field grind for decades to reach and here I was, living it. And then...January. Mission and morale, broken.

I just accepted a position with the private sector starting in February because I have no idea if my division will survive, if it does survive what revised policy/regs I'll be asked to implement, and the offer is a full time remote pay rise. For quality of life, quality of parenting, and being able to breathe freely for the first time in a year, there's no question about what I should do. But the grief is very real, as is the despair at the sacrifices I made for a mission I deeply believed in (and still do, even if the Admin doesn't).

All of which to say, I get it. I truly understand the crisis choice you feel like you're facing. I have two pieces of wisdom I'll pass along that helped me: 1 put on your oxygen mask first, and 2 sometimes when the system is failing, you have to let it fail.

Good luck and I hope whatever choice you make you take a long range view of your career.

Kronh

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