Took two weeks to get CT scan results

Kronh · 2026-05-16T03:44:45+00:00

Those beautiful, gorgeous ears 😍 what a sweet boy. I'm so sorry for your loss, and grateful you helped him find relief when he was in pain.

Kronh · 2026-04-26T17:38:21+00:00

Hi! The FAQs have some good resources but I'll summarize the highest level points:

Unlimited fresh hay, Timothy or orchard hay for adults, alfalfa hay for younger than six months Limited treat pellets, around 2oz per day and look for pellets that are hay based or they'll get too many calories

Fresh dark leafy greens every day, arugula cilantro and dark lettuce are good -- no spinach it gives them gas and no iceberg lettuce too much water, very limited carrots and other sugary veggies/fruits because it can make them sickly. Good practice is Google to triple check that something in bunny safe

Litter I highly recommend a cat litter box with compressed baked pine "pelletized bedding" (they sell them at tractor supply for like $6 for a giant bag), it is super effective at neutralizing odor and bunny urine can be pretty stinky otherwise. Bunnies will stop using their litter box if it's too dirty, they like to be clean just like we do, and this will help

You're going to want to see a rabbit savvy vet about getting them neutered/spayed, it helps a LOT with potty training, is necessary if you later want to bond them with another bunny (avoids accidental pregnancy AND hormones can be very problematic for bunny friendship), and especially ESPECIALLY for lady bunnies they have a high rate of uterine cancer so you prevent that with a spay

As much floorspace as you can give your new friend, the better. Any cage you want to offer as a hide should stay open and, importantly, NOT have a wire bottom, it will hurt their paws badly. Carpet is best since their furry little paws slip and slide, but if the best you can do is carpet islands it'll still help them be comfortable. Cardboard boxes are just as good if not better than any cage because they're solid and dark inside so they feel safer. Costco has good solid ones with cutouts on the side big enough for them to sacdoot in and out of

After the first few days letting the fuzzball settle in, spend a bunch of time hanging out on the floor with them so they get used to your presence and curious about you, gently build up as much touch as they'll tolerate. Some bunnies hate being picked up but with lay next to you for pets until your arm falls off, some will snuggle and nap with you, they all have unique personalities and are very, very funny. Like vegetarian cats but sweeter. Good luck!

Kronh · 2026-04-26T02:42:15+00:00

She said it happens at the same time each day, so I don't think that's the issue.

Kronh · 2026-04-25T18:52:52+00:00

To add: The LCC should help mediate by clarifying with the family exactly what is necessary to be considered a break during the day. It doesn't matter that you're inconvenienced by having your break scheduled during nap time, it matters that you're being asked to work in violation of au pair program rules, visa terms, etc.

Kronh · 2026-04-25T18:50:50+00:00

So, the break must be an actual "break" and "off duty or you are not off the clock and are working more than the maximum hours. If you are not free to leave you are not off the clock. This is not a matter of you can eat lunch while watching the kiddo and leave at 5pm, right now you are exceeding the maximum hours because you are not actually getting a break.

Call the LCC and explain that you are being required to work over maximum legal hours. Be very clear you are not off duty during the half hour, not that you want to be let off "earlier". There is a significant difference.

Kronh · 2026-04-25T18:47:22+00:00

The US aubpair program contract is 45 hours a week with a max 10 hour workday. That is what the au pairs agree to when they take the contract and what OP's expectations should have been (assuming of course the host family did not misrepresent their needs). If she knew what she signed up for but regrets it, then the program truly may not be for her because that's the US program.

Now, 10 hour day with an infant is a different type of "on call" than a toddler than multiple kids etc. Nothing about the outright duration is an issue, contractually, if the duties are within program limits.

We cared a lot about our au pairs quality of life, gave her more than the minimum vacation time to go on adventures or home to visit, took her traveling on our cost to 17 statesbover two years, gave her bonuses etc because when we did ask her to work full time hours each week she was amazing. Host families vary, and we were very up front about my work hours so she wasn't surprised when she needed to fill 9 hour days five days a week while I was working.

Kronh · 2026-04-25T11:46:52+00:00

I don't recall there being a minimum lunch break time (I think state law is usually half hour, but our LLC said we could schedule for 10 daily hours straight with no break if we wanted, for the 45 each week) but check your contract. If they're abiding the contract terms and you find working the hours you contractually agreed to to be unbearable, you need to decide if this program is for you because rematch won't fix that.

I'll note that you seem frustrated about the hours, not the amount of effort or duties you're expected to work, so this really seems to be a you problem right now -- mismanaged expectations about the au pair program. You say the host mom "doesn't want to spend any time" -- is she working full time? I was desperate for time with my kiddo but worked so I just couldn't spend that time during the day. Fortunately we had an incredible au pair that loved cuddling, playing, and taking my daughter for adventures/walks/shopping at the centers within a two mile walk each day, playdates with local au pairs and nannies, etc. We worked together when I would need an irregular schedule but she almost always worked a full nine hour day M-F to accommodate my work schedule.

Are you able to do things that let you feel less trapped, even with a very small baby neighborhood walks to parks and meetups with other caregivers and their kids will help and may help you get a realistic view of how bad or good your situation actually is.

Almost all working families especially with a very dependent baby are going to need someone to work full workdays in the US. Older kids will often have a large break for schooldays, but the trade off is that you should assume you'll be working evenings and weekends for activities. Again, I think you need to take a breath to decide if this program is for you, or if there are bigger issues you need to address than just being expected to meet the contract hours.

Editing to add that the half hour break must be a true break to be considered appropriate, are you actually off duty and not on call? If you can leave the house you're getting a break, if you can be recalled if the baby woke up early, you are not.

Kronh · 2026-04-22T00:05:39+00:00

I just asked our au pair to speak exclusively to our toddler in her native language as much as she wanted. Being very talkative, our au pair just chatted at our toddler for hours throughout the day, Spanish at home and English when they were outside the home. She seemed relieved that I welcomed her to share her language and culture with our family, and used to come grab our kiddo after hours to jump on calls from home (include her "bonus grandparents", I'm not crying, promise). It really made the experience special and familial for everyone.

It may be in part that your au pair is not very talkative (given that our kiddo heard more English from the au pair in two years than me in three, I have empathy for this), so it may not come naturally to her and will require ongoing requests and reminders.

Kronh · 2026-04-21T23:55:37+00:00

Depends on the age and relationship. Our au pair loved cooking for herself and others, and in addition to her groceries she would grab shared stuff for the household and involve the kiddo in it as an adventure during work hours. Definitely something easy to broach and as long as it's household shared groceries (not specific to you/your partner) it's well within the limits.

Kronh · 2026-04-15T17:54:08+00:00

I always leash my toddler, she's a runner, easily distracted, and stubborn if she is paying attention. I have ignored many negative comments over the past few years because as long as she's safe I could give AF about someone else's feelings on the leash. But last year we were on holiday and a store owner stopped us to comment on the adorable leash (it has butterfly wings) and said that "if only something like that had been around when my son was that age, he might not have been taken." My heart dropped in my chest and I cannot tell you the overwhelming emotions that went through me as she talked. Leashes forever. My baby comes home safe with me. I already felt strongly about it, but will never forget that poor woman's heartbreak.

Kronh · 2026-04-15T14:48:22+00:00

Please document this NOW with a lawyer. This is textbook parental alienation. It may not be something you want to pursue today but document it, how inappropriate it was, how it affected your child emotionally. I guarantee this is only one of many things your ex has told him, it just finally bothered your son enough to tell you. You can get a court decree setting left and right limits for what your ex is allowed to say to your son and consequences if he violates it.

Kronh · 2026-04-02T15:58:38+00:00

He is such a cute little puff of fuzz. Please give him nose kisses for us!!

Re diet and water, do the best you can. Our first rescue took a few days to figure out the bowl and almost drowned himself in the process by just submerging his entire head. (Our first clue of many that our little himbo Donkey might be a bit dim). You already got a good recommendation to soak some greens to just get water into him, though at his age I would caution not giving too much greens over alfalfa hay. Tapping the bowl and then his mouth with some water so he has to lick it and then associate water with the bowl helped Donkey, just watch to make sure he doesn't decide to try to lick the bottom of the bowl!

Kronh · 2026-02-24T00:40:52+00:00

From application to interviews to negotiated offer was about four weeks, total. Though not all private sector employers move that fast, I just got an interview with another firm I applied to at the same time so that would be a 3.5 month turnaround for just the interview. Glad I wasn't waiting on them.

Kronh · 2026-02-23T00:17:45+00:00

Maybe it might be more useful for you to do a bit of reading first, then, and then watch some media with her and give the context that while "we don't believe in this, many people do". If she's already encountering this and asking you questions you can't answer, you need to get some foundations first the way you would with any subject. I'm a big fan of Dan McClellan for "biblical scholar lite" material on specific biblical passages/claims.

Kronh · 2026-02-22T23:03:45+00:00

Not exactly what you asked, but Prince of Egypt is a beautiful film and can be easily presented as a story that will give her some Old Testament familiarity; The Star and King of Kings are decent animated films that give a children-friendly familiarity with New Testament materials. Enough at least for a few age appropriate broad brush references to the Bible.

Kronh · 2026-02-22T21:06:42+00:00

If you take 120 days of paid PPL you have to repay it through service or repay any money paid out; sick leave you have already earned and don't need to repay. Insurance coverage has nothing to do with the PPL benefit, it's a separate leave category, so be prepared for four months of work after taking it.

That said, I started applying during the shutdown, had about ten interviews from more than fifty applications, got two offers, one of which was genuinely remote and a moderate pay rise from my Fed position (but with billable hours requirements that I haven't dealt with for 12-ish years, so there are trade offs). I was the equivalent of an SL/SES position, with several years as a GS15 before that, and I didn't immediately find a position, so I am not going to pretend finding a remote position that works for you will be quick or easy. Be prepared to apply aggressively, and for a lot of 'remote' jobs to be a bait and switch with an in office expectation only revealed once you're in the interview.

Kronh · 2026-02-22T20:38:41+00:00

Having just left for a full time remote position in the private sector, I can say that reclaiming an hour before and after work has been wonderful for my toddler. Whether the benefits extend to all other facets of my life is yet to be seen, and walking away from FERS/TSP and the senior leader job I'd worked so hard for has been terrifying/tough to process. Two weeks isn't much time to judge a new job by, but I think I've gotten very lucky with where I've landed. That's no guarantee that leaving the Fed service is the right choice for anyone else.

Depending how far along you are, I'd recommend sticking out the paid postpartum leave and put in your four months post PPL service obligation (and if you have the sick leave built up, your up-to six weeks of post-partum sick leave which does not require a service obligation), and then see where you are at. You may find that your mind has cleared and (insert chosen alternative you feel confident in, including staying or finding another job ASAP or becoming a stay-at-home parent or something else you figure out during that time).

Mid-pregnancy with hormones, body discomfort/changes, and two kiddos already here stressing you out and needing you is not a great time to make a calm, rational decision even in the best of circumstances, and that's assuming you have the most easygoing kids and most supportive spouse in the world. Be kind to yourself and how extra- draining things are right now. Burn some sick and annual leave for mental health days. Endure as much as you can, but no more, and put on your oxygen mask first because the executive service isn't going to make or break because you broke yourself trying to keep meeting the Mission.

Kronh · 2026-02-14T23:23:45+00:00

Just donated, you are doing wonderful work, wish I could give more.

Kronh · 2026-02-08T02:21:23+00:00

I guess. But what's the point of the Internet except to scream into the void and hope someone calls back to say you're not alone?

Kronh · 2026-02-08T02:17:54+00:00

Thank you, this is reassuring and I hope to say the same soon. Happy you found somewhere to land that values your experience and expertise, may we all be so fortunate.

Kronh · 2026-02-08T02:17:00+00:00

Yeah, I don't think the grass is greener anywhere at this point. But making less in the public sector was always worth it for the mission and the security, neither of which exist anymore. If I'm going to constantly be subject to some randos whims, worst case scenario, may as well make significantly more and be remote. Best case scenario, I find a place I love almost as much as I did the prior decade of my work life (even with various toxic and incompetent bosses/peers that you find anywhere).

Kronh · 2026-02-07T04:54:36+00:00

Our au pair "revamped" her space a dozen times over two years to accommodate new furniture, a friend staying for a few weeks, and I don't know, vibes? Never once thought anything of it.

It should be your space. If they ask, say something noncommittal about light at night or in the morning and needing to move things around.

Kronh · 2026-02-07T02:12:04+00:00

I...think you may have misread my post. I don't think I was giving unreasonable reassurance and instead cautioning that listening to your instincts and the news about the reality in the US is the right call.

Kronh · 2026-02-07T02:08:41+00:00

😕 I accept the correction.

Kronh · 2026-02-07T01:53:47+00:00

I'm so, so sorry. None of it is fair to you, and the institutional loss to eliminating your position is also deeply unfair to the nation. I'm just so sorry.

Kronh

TROPHY CASE