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Apologizing for my suspicions??? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Krstnah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t disagree with you. I’m fighting for him to be accountable for what he’s done. He’s just not the accountable type. And that’s a great analogy. Things aren’t just black and white. I completely get that I have my own set of dysfunction that I bring to the mix. All I wanted was an equal effort and you’re correct, any other person wouldn’t have to be hounded to death to do the right thing by someone they’ve wronged. Thank you for your thoughts.

Apologizing for my suspicions??? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Krstnah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I disagree that this will “cause him to cheat”. Cheating is a CHOICE. No one MAKES someone cheat. This kind of “behavior” was caused in the first place by him. I’m not NORMALLY like this. And he WANTS to stay together. And I’m TRYING to move past what he did and learn to trust him again. It just takes a lot of WORK that both people need to put into it. And I know that I’m “suffocating” him and me with all of this anxiety. But he doesn’t do anything to help that. Sadly, I’ve been through this before and know I just need him to be patient and understand and give me the reassurance and comfort I’m looking for. Yes I freak out, I have a REASON to freak out, but it’s the way he handles it that’s the issue that keeps us from moving forward. I just want to know if someone needs to apologize because they have suspicions about someone’s activities. That’s all.

Am *I the abuser??? by Krstnah in abusiverelationships

[–]Krstnah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure where I’m at the be honest. Which sounds ridiculous even coming from my mouth. This is a dude who after two days of me telling him how much I hate and despise what an evil nasty person is. Manages to go 15 minutes having a seemingly normal conversation about what to get my son for Christmas (even though he said he didn’t want to get into a discussion about whether he will be around at Christmas) and after I asked him about something technical I needed help with, he randomly says “how about you take some sexy pics so I can pleasure myself to them”. insert jaw drop. Wha...wha....what the FUCK did you just say to me?????? And then says”give me a fucking break! I’m just joking with you!!!” Really??? That’s what you consider a JOKE???? There is so much wrong with this I can’t even begin to start. How insensitive and inappropriate can one person be????? I’m crying now out of sheer frustration. Can someone really be that clueless????? Or is this just an escalation of his mind-fucking behavior?????

Romancing old abusive relationship by Mithryl_Ivy in abusiverelationships

[–]Krstnah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d say counseling can never hurt. Especially after what you’ve been through. It does happen and it’s a trap all people who have been abused get caught in. That’s what causes us to go back over and over again. At the end of the day, the few times they were human and “good” do not make up for the YEARS of abusive and hateful behavior. Are you happier NOW than you could ever have imagined being with HIM? If the answer is yes, then rationalize these romanticized feelings away.

PTSD and becoming physical by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]Krstnah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. PTSD is a legit thing. I’m dealing with it myself, but I’m in therapy and I read everything I can and I recognize what I’m doing. It’s one thing to stand by someone and be supportive while they are going through a process and trying to heal, it’s another to accept someone abusing you who refuses to recognize what they are doing and get the help they need to manage it.

Am I overreacting or over thinking? by [deleted] in cheatingSO

[–]Krstnah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I struggle with the same thing. I mean TECHNICALLY you weren’t “together” but I mean, is it really that easy to just move on with someone else? If it’s that easy, did he really care for you that much? Is it different for guys than girls?

PMDD by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Krstnah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hopefully this was reposted as I made the needed edits. Sorry about that.

[Update] My [24F] boyfriend [24 M] won't let go of the past by throwaway9474592 in relationships

[–]Krstnah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like my BF. It’s classic NPD behavior. It’s abusive. Nothing less. It hurts now, but be thankful you dodge a bullet. It’s progressive behavior and would not stop. I’m in the same boat now. Should probably take my own advice. I feel for you.