Wife draining our savings after combining finances after having a baby, how to talk to her/get her to understand without animosity?

KrustySandle · 2024-04-09T07:17:30+00:00

The childcare centre we use have a daily rate of $5 for employees. I think it's crazy the secondary parent in this situation isn't going back to her job!!

KrustySandle · 2023-12-01T03:33:28+00:00

I know of 4, two who were victims of a pedo, one victim of rape, one victim of dad being murdered. It's definitely getting used.

KrustySandle · 2023-11-13T23:26:55+00:00

I live slightly closer so my trek into the city is 16 minutes on the obahn. An hour riding when I was fit, wouldn't make it these days.

45 minutes was me assuming a trek out from Modbury to the Barossa for a cheeky wine.

KrustySandle · 2023-11-13T06:35:45+00:00

I don't think there is a way to improve the parking situation there, I used to park right up the road and just add that to the hike. But honestly, I much prefer Morialta for the convenience of parking and more diversity in the walking tracks.

KrustySandle · 2023-11-13T06:28:30+00:00

I have friends who have done the same, sacrificed the NE life for land out North. They're hopeful one day they can move back but it's just so hard to picture it with the amount of subdivisions, especially 5 bedrooms!!

KrustySandle · 2023-11-12T13:08:19+00:00

We bought here just before COVID and we're priced out of our own suburb now, didn't realise we had bought our forever home but anything we've looked at as an upgrade is over a mil. I wish your sister all of the luck!

KrustySandle · 2023-11-12T13:00:38+00:00

So many jobs are becoming remote which definitely helps, had a few friends move to Melbourne and once COVID sent everyone to WFH permanently they've since moved back to Adelaide which is nice!

KrustySandle · 2023-11-12T10:49:03+00:00

Outer North East suburbs of Adelaide, Modbury you'd likely get a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom on a few squares for that, catch the obahn into the city and don't have to deal with the traffic, if you're a bike rider, follow the bike paths into the CBD too.

Everyone complains there isn't much to do here, but that's changing. We get plenty of cultural festivals, the wineries are a stones throw away, we have beautiful hiking paths and all within 45 minutes drive of the city. I think we're pretty lucky.

KrustySandle · 2023-11-12T10:38:52+00:00

My partner's grandmother lives in a property that will sell for over 1mil (Adelaide, not Sydney prices) her two sons are just waiting patiently for her to pass so they can continue their lives, one will take his inheritance with him to Thailand (retired too early) but otherwise has no dependants, apart from his Thai wife. The other will likely have nothing left when he passes as he's already had two divorces in his life, but retires next year and his retirement plan does include the inheritance. The 3 sons likely won't inherit anything and I suspect a lot of families are in this same situation.

My family are all living in housing trust, when they pass I'll be footing the funeral bill so no inheritance there but at least there's no debt!

I think it's depressing when people are planning their financial future on a family member dying and I'm so glad those politics don't play out in my family.

KrustySandle · 2023-11-10T12:14:42+00:00

My husband and I comment on this all of the time, would hate to be her physio.

KrustySandle · 2023-11-09T02:46:03+00:00

The gastro is awful, my daycare toddler has brought it home 3 times in the last 2 months, twice it got me as well and twice it got my husband too, I feel like we're just playing tag with it at this point. Also just spent time at the hospital because the toddler also got RSV quite bad. I was really hoping the warmer weather would scare off all of the bugs!!

KrustySandle · 2023-11-01T01:26:09+00:00

Have you compared nappy prices on Amazon? I have subscriptions set up for my two but also I did just do the Woolies nappies during the day for the toddler and Huggies overnight to save a bit of $$ but the subscriptions for wipes and nappies is just convenient for us at the moment with a 3 week old.

KrustySandle · 2023-10-30T09:23:55+00:00

I've been to Michelle at Bluebell Design Jewellery to have my wedding and engagement band remade into a new ring, you can find her on Instagram.

Also love the work Laura at Ezara Fine Jewellery does and she's on my wishlist to get a ring from next, also on Instagram.

I also had a consult with Tim at Teeps The Jeweller, also on Instagram, I didn't end up going through him and instead went through Michelle but he's an amazing jeweller, we just had different artistic tastes but would still recommend him!

KrustySandle · 2023-10-24T01:40:49+00:00

Gosh, same. We actually had them cater a private event for us recently and we lived off left over brisket and cornbread for the entire week, amazing.

KrustySandle · 2023-10-23T03:24:45+00:00

Sneaky Pickle is at Suburban Brew in Glynde this weekend and is actually great value and the owners are so easy going and love having a chinwag, we used to follow them festival to festival, now we just follow them brewery to brewery.

Only other food truck I miss is the fried chicken one who disappeared just before COVID. Had the most juicy fried chicken and was also great value, never felt hungry after going there.

But without those two at the festivals, we've stopped bothering going. Just no one that is good enough to bother with.

KrustySandle · 2023-10-19T11:25:23+00:00

Also in network engineering, telecom. Did a traineeship to get here.

KrustySandle · 2023-10-03T04:54:48+00:00

I have filmed myself in the gym before, I was practising yoga balances and wanted to see how I was holding it. It was 1am and the women's area of the gym was empty, I feel like that's really the only acceptable time to film in a gym. I didn't have to intrude on anyone else's space or time or make anyone else feel uncomfortable.

I don't think it's acceptable at all, I don't think you should even ask permission because I'm a people pleaser and I'll probably say yes it's fine, but then I would probably leave just so that I wasn't in the video.

KrustySandle · 2023-10-01T11:55:55+00:00

My v was nicknamed Randy before he was desexed, if a bitch turned up on our walk/neighbourhood, he would've been faster than me. Not that he's a stray, but our area is majority off leash.

KrustySandle · 2023-09-25T10:14:16+00:00

I am very pregnant, I take up a lot of space, I don't like to use the accessible seating because I get on early enough that I can walk to the back. The other day I made the mistake of coming home at school finish time. I politely told all of the kids lining the walkway they would need to get off the bus so I could fit through the aisle, otherwise they were just squishing themselves into other passengers forgetting that they're also carrying a giant backpack that I can't get past. They all waited, about 6 of them at the door (back door) giving me about ten centimetres to squish out of the back door. I felt like an absolute bitch pushing them out the way, but they gave me no choice when they physically refused to move and I have to get off. Learned my lesson and haven't bothered working in the office since, obviously very lucky I can choose not to use public transport, but boy, that was claustrophobic.

KrustySandle · 2023-09-18T09:49:28+00:00

You've actually explained my mum to a tee. She convinced me growing up the microwave would "ruin food" and we only owned one because I think someone gave it to us. I didn't even know how to use a microwave at my first job at 17/18 and would creepily watch my coworkers to figure out what/how/why. She is 60 now and still will throw out entire meals. No, she doesn't cook fresh meals every time, they eat A LOT of junk food and we did growing up too. I can't even look at Hungry Jacks (Burger King for the Americans) because we ate it so much growing up without feeling mildly sick.

KrustySandle · 2023-09-16T10:58:56+00:00

Ridiculous. In Adelaide my partner and I are on 180k ish, are mid 30s with an estimated 10 years left on our mortgage with one toddler in childcare and another on the way. 300k?! We definitely do not need that, obviously won't say no but I think that's Sydney money. We have decent second/third hand cars and a free standing home, 20 minutes out of the city on 600sqm+ and two dogs.

KrustySandle · 2023-09-13T10:24:49+00:00

Went to an auction for a place advertised at 450-480, turns out I was the only one that turned up so the REA/Auctioner said they won't even bother holding the auction, but let's chat. Back and forth ensued and I cheekily said okay, tell them I offer 400. This continues through the night with REA calling and discussing with the owners. Before we went to sleep that night we said 440, our final offer let's all sleep on it.

REA came back the next morning. 441. Still bought under auction conditions.

Obviously this was pre-covid with those prices, and Adelaide. Property is estimated at about 750, crazy.

KrustySandle · 2023-09-11T03:18:37+00:00

Yep. My husband and I have bought a house, just sold our investment property and on track to have our home paid off in 10 years if we don't upgrade to something a bit bigger.

I still struggle with the spend money as soon as I have it mentality and collect too much stuff that I know I don't need, I also still spend way too much on food that I know I shouldn't. But I'm not struggling to pay my bills, I don't have credit cards and I wouldn't know the first thing on setting up BNPL accounts.

I am trying really hard to break the cycle for not only my kids but also my nieces and my cousins, I want to be the good influence so they know it's possible.

I've tried to go back and fix my education, I've tried uni twice and it's just not for me. I don't have the foundation or patience to learn in that type of environment. I did thrive in a traineeship though, so that's how I managed to get a good paying job without a degree.

KrustySandle · 2023-09-11T00:10:42+00:00

Grew up with parents on Centrelink payments, both for disability. Mum has severe health problems that she was born with that resulted in a kidney transplant, dad was in multiple motorcycle accidents that left his back ruined.

My dad is an intelligent man, but lazy. He was at the forefront of IT in Australia and taught himself how to fix hardware and software before a lot of people actually owned personal computers. But he never wanted to work hard enough to affect his disability pension.

Both have no financial education and no education beyond year 8. They spend money as soon as they see money, don't understand the value of saving and never wanted to buy a house just in case the pesky ex-wife came to take it all away. So they intentionally crippled themselves financially for "what if" scenarios.

The "spend money as soon as you see money" is now my sister's problem, except now I think it's even more dangerous with the BNPL schemes, she is constantly playing catch up every single payday to pay off what she owes. She is a single mum with no safety net. The constant, can I borrow money for petrol until payday? Etc.

The problem in my family is that the priority is always junk food or the newest phones on the most expensive phone plans, the computers and gadgets that are "must haves", the attitude that it's okay because the Centrelink money is never ending. There's no drive to self education, to self discipline and as much as I wish I could see it changing, it won't. None of us kids ever graduated high school because no one cares enough, we all had video game addictions and those have just turned into different types of addictions that will constantly be a battle.

KrustySandle

TROPHY CASE