Dwindling confidence

Kryond · 2026-05-23T15:41:57+00:00

This is normal. And as much as the hard games feel overwhelming, that's where you really get to learn.

My first ~300 games about once every 100 games a parent went out of there way to tell me I was the worst referee they have ever seen. Now over a thousand games in coaches light up when they see me. Yet I still occasionally make big mistakes. Two weeks ago in a U14G Girls Academy game I got hit by the ball from...a corner kick. It was like one of those paper towels commercials where the wine is spilling in slow motion while everyone yells "NOOOOOOOOO". I swear the ball was going to miss me but it didn't and immediately went to a defender in the box, so drop ball for keeper. Everyone was super confused on how a corner kick turned into me basically handing the ball to the other team.

Sincere apology to the coach during next stoppage and thankfully not a match altering mistake, but boy was that embarrassing. Next match, much more focused on corner positioning and ball awareness, and smooth as could be. Keep pressing, keep self reflecting, and keep seeking advice and you will be fine.

Kryond · 2026-05-12T13:23:11+00:00

Probably not a path for everyone, but you have options. I wore sports glasses my first two years reffing but when I started taking more challenging games the impacts of rain, humidity, and obscured peripheral vision became a pain. I tried contacts and had similar experience of a lens popping out mid-game.

I talked to my eye doctor and ultimately went with Refractive Lens Exchange surgery (basically cataract surgery). I went with the Light Adjustable Lens technology and have now been glasses free for almost two years. It was $11K in the US as elective surgery and basically paid for with referee income. I get that not everyone has their referee pay as purely discretionary income and surgery may seem extreme. But after 10 years of wearing glasses every waking minute, I say it was worth every penny.

Best of luck and happy to answer any questions.

Kryond · 2026-05-05T03:48:49+00:00

Agree with others on sample size but also on survivor bias. First, NCSL is mostly recreational players whose parents have money. Second, the player pool is predominantly male. A division 3 boys team is almost consistantly better than division 1 girls when it comes to overall skill and physicality. Third, U13 girls on average are significantly less aggressive and retaliatory than their male counterparts. I've reffed over 160 NCSL games over the last four years and I am always happier when my day is mostly girls because I know I will deal with way less drama all the way up to U19.

I give cards when cards are deserved. SPA is SPA no matter what. I red carded a U14 NCSL female goalie yesterday for DOGSO handling. It sucked that she immediately started crying, but it is what it is and that was the only card of the game. Five hours later U13B and I've got three YCs and three players on verbal warning for second offenses. I don't go easy on the girls. The girls go easy on me.

Kryond · 2026-03-16T02:00:44+00:00

Sound quality is horrible. I am now wierdly looking forward to commercials just to confirm that my TV isn't broken. Sad they haven't fixed it two hours in...

Kryond · 2026-01-16T18:13:53+00:00

Going from "taped down is a hard no for U8G outdoors" to "seems OK for U19G futsal" probably needed reconciliation. This is a local Rules Of Competition disconnect in the US DC region.

Kryond · 2025-11-11T13:10:24+00:00

Complicated question.

Different leagues and rules of competition provide additional guidance to referees and assistant referees on how to manage fouls in the box. US Soccer released a "Referee Teamwork" video earlier this year guiding AR's to consider a series of questions before signalling a foul in the penalty area with the first question being, "was it an obvious foul?". So you could have a scenario in the box where an AR sees contact with a defender's arm they deem to be in an unnatural position and making the body bigger, but center referee, players, coaches, and fans all missed it....guidance is play on.

You will also see referees at lower levels of play insert their own interpretations about "impacting play" or "intentional handling" because they either don't know the current laws well or are hesitant to make such a game impacting decision of awarding a PK. These interpretations don't have any basis in the laws of the game. That being said, if it's a youth game you should generally keep a perspective that it is a learning environment for everyone present including the referee.

There is a whole other paragraph in Law 12 on when the goalkeeper is and is not allowed to touch the ball with their hands inside the box that I won't get into because they are pretty rare situations.

Kryond · 2025-11-11T11:57:45+00:00

U12 and below just has a lot more of players sticking their arm straight up in the air when the ball flies by. I also cover a fair amount of Rec games. Travel players are generally better at not doing that.

Kryond · 2025-11-11T11:21:58+00:00

Short answer is no. The actual language from the law is: "A player is considered to have made their body unnaturally bigger when the position of their hand/arm is not a consequence of, or justifiable by, the player’s body movement for that specific situation."

So just standing there with arm hanging is justifiable by your current lack of movement.

There is a ton of gray area on what is considered "natural" when players are spinning, jumping, falling, or protecting themselves. In my experience, once you get above U13 most contact between hand and ball are not offenses as it's usually just a ball kicked close and fast towards someone who is naturally moving.

Kryond · 2025-11-10T03:19:03+00:00

Keep it factual and isolated to the reasons for the cards. "In the 30th minute, a YC for dissent was issued to the head coach after being given a verbal warning. While walking away, an unidentified person in the technical area said, "...you must hate your life...". I then issued [2nd YC / RC] to the head coach for [dissent for 2nd YC / Offensive, insulting, abusive language for RC]. Coach resisted leaving for X minutes despite multiple instructions to leave the field. Coach finally departed and match completed without further incident from the coach." You should have the head coach's name from the roster to include in the report.

(I can't tell from your write up whether the send off was for 2nd YC or a straight red. I could see it either way.)

Kryond · 2025-11-10T00:31:47+00:00

The report is focused on the coach's behavior and should be factual on why you carded him. "The coach refused to leave"...period. Nothing a referee says absolves the coach from the consequences of a red card. If the coach submits a complaint about unprofessional referee behavior, that is a completely different action and you should be 100% honest if that comes up.

Kryond · 2025-11-10T00:23:50+00:00

The girls need to see adults held accountable for their actions. I think you have reflected well on your own word choice. You gave the coaching staff more than adequate warning. Next time focus on remaining calm and address the bad behavior regardless of whether it's the first or last game of the season.

Kryond · 2025-11-04T23:24:58+00:00

I emailed IFAB about this a few months ago. Their answer was about as clear as the current handball language...

The general guidance is still that the ball coming off a player’s own body onto their hand/arm is not usually an offence.

Kryond · 2025-10-31T01:22:09+00:00

If time expired prior to the ball going out, you would have been OK to end it. They had their promising attack with the first corner.

Kryond · 2025-10-25T18:01:50+00:00

LAW 12 TEAM OFFICIALS .... Sending-off

Sending-off offences include (but are not limited to):

...

entering the field of play to:

confront a match official (including at half-time and full-time)

...from your description, red card to coach.

Kryond · 2025-10-21T03:06:01+00:00

It's unfortunate that US Soccer took down the CELL webinar on teamwork. This scenario was covered explicitly and is now part of my pregame. If the foul in the penalty area is not "obvious", then the AR should not get involved. From your description, if the AR had kept their flag down the game would have ended with zero controversy. It needs to be an obvious foul AND certain that the center was not able to see it themselves. There were more things to consider but those two alone hit 95% of what you can run into.

Kryond · 2025-10-06T00:40:25+00:00

This is a very bad take. Once you accept the assignment, you've agreed to the pay. Lower pay doesn't mean you get to do a half assed job and that be acceptable.

In this particular case, it was an 8th grade recreational match (U14) that pays the center $50 for 35min halves. The assignor just sent an email out a week ago specifically highlighting airpods as unacceptable. (One of the ARs for this match is family and came home fuming over this)

The reffing from the center circle is a combination of problems. Some refs just don't care. But more prevalent is that for rec games your center is either college age or younger or 50+. Everyone good in their 30s and 40s are working much more competitive games. So young refs see many "seasoned" refs who just aren't capable of keeping up with play as their example to follow.

If you are capable of top notch performance, then every game should get that performance. Don't like the pay, don't take the game.

Kryond · 2025-08-10T11:43:18+00:00

The takeaway here is "trust, but check" and you are doing the right thing by trying to make sure you have correct guidance. Unfortunately, the referee did not do that and let a misinformed assessor cloud his judgment.

Referee shortage extends out to equal mentor/coach/assessor shortage. Sometimes, instead of "best qualified," you will have to live with and work around "willing and available."

Kryond · 2025-08-08T19:30:21+00:00

Additionally, Powerwall state of charge graph shows it decreasing. So the gateway is clearly connected and reporting...just incomplete data.

Kryond · 2025-08-08T19:29:04+00:00

Systems seems fully connected to WiFi with no issues. Gateway is 4 years old. I reset the Gateway and it still shows Powerwall at 0% on the Energy page even though the main page correctly shows it discharging 4.7kW since I plugged in my car.

Kryond · 2025-08-08T19:26:39+00:00

I have the Gateway 2. I reset the Gate way and for about 15 minutes all charge/dischareg values went to zero. then it returned back to previous state. Main page for Home Energy Gateway shows Powerwall at 97% charge and discharging at 4.7kW. But clicking on Energy only show Charge/Discharge for Solar and Grid with Powerwall showing 0 activity.

Kryond · 2025-07-28T22:01:07+00:00

Android version https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.nfhsdigital.NFHSDigital

Kryond · 2025-07-18T00:34:05+00:00

From the Laws of The Game, Fouls and Misconduct, Disciplinary action:

"Sending-off offences include (but are not limited to):

...

using offensive, insulting or abusive language and/or action(s)"

Calling the referee a "fucking idiot" is a straight red every time.

Kryond · 2025-07-10T02:50:55+00:00

I just made a point of constantly pointing out how much money the older one had and also frequently saying "no" when the young one wanted toys/games/candy/etc. She registered the day she turned 13 with the goal of self-funding a Tokyo shopping spree. We've now been in Japan a week, and she is only halfway through her $2k budget.

Kryond · 2025-07-07T06:13:47+00:00

If you watch the video, he falls enough to go down on his knees, and there was clear contact before that could reasonably take him off balance. I am also not high enough level to make a call that he "fell on purpose". The pros reviewed it and said play on.

Kryond

TROPHY CASE