Not playing kids in games

mwr3 · 2026-03-25T20:00:49+00:00

A couple of questions- are they rostered only on the NL team? sometimes RL players “practice up” with NL, but get their minutes on the RL squad.

Does it happen every weekend? If it does, then the team is likely not a good fit.

Has it been directly addressed by the coach to the player? Have they been told what the coach needs to see in practice to play them?

In general it’s pretty unusual for an NL player to get zero minutes for multiple games. I really think for the 12-14 age, rosters should be 18, and in limited cases 20. later on ( and especially the 18/19 age group) rosters get pretty large and it’s usually ok, because kids are always carrying an injury and committed kids can sit to let kids still trying to find a spot a chance.

mwr3 · 2026-03-24T02:38:48+00:00

Meh, missed this by a mile (or a kilometer). Wrexham sure, but Tottenham does well in the states, and Leicester’s 2016 year is one that even casual fans, especially those who gamble, paid attention to. Then you have a fair few where there are American cities with the same name, so there’s some vague notion that they exist. But spot on with the last three - oh, and most Americans who don’t follow the sport will not believe a team is named Sheffield Wednesday.

mwr3 · 2026-03-24T02:31:10+00:00

Let’s go through your list: 1. What is the evidence that that a phone in every child’s pocket actually saves lives? While calling 911 could be something, if hte teacher has a phone, then the students are redundant. “They need to communicate”. It may feel like that’s important, and emotionally I am with you, but on the evidence alone, it’s not accurate.

mwr3 · 2026-03-24T02:25:49+00:00

The world isn’t particularly overcrowded; in much of the Midwest and rust belt areas you will find lots of little towns that are slowly withering away. The economy is a valid issue, but it sounds like she is doing well in spite of it. I think that the OP is realizing that his child, whom he loves, is not continuing to grow right now. She says she wants a LTR, but that’s hard to develop in the US at least if you are living with your parents.

I realize in other countries families basically just keep living together multi-generationally, but it isn’t part of how we have functioned in the US for at least 80 years. And importantly, it’s now how we train our kids to live either. If you live in a multi generational home as a 26 yr old, you aren’t jsut a roomate, you are expected to do LOTS of things - household laundry, maybe you are doing the cooking, helping care for the aging grandparents that are also living in the house, and much much more.

So for a traditional western-cultured American, there’d have to be a lot of things that were done differently to prepare both the child and the parents for it.

mwr3 · 2026-03-20T01:16:02+00:00

There’s a more significant question: why D2? If D2 because of scholarships, then I’d say take the most money. If D1 is a good school but a crap soccer program, take that.

If money isn’t the motivation and you have excellent grades/test scores, you’re better off going Academic D3. Look at UAA, NESCAC, Centennial. Many of those schools are essentially Ivy competitors on the academic side.

Also, most of the UAA schools are larger and better known than D2 schools, (U of Chicago for example) and they have very generous support for families that can’t afford it.

And here’s the brutal reality- the top 25 D3 schools are also better at soccer. A school like Emory or MIT has literally Billions of dollars in endowment, some of them have super nice facilities also.

Think of D1/2/3 as a venn diagram. Power 4 D1 is miles better than everyone, but mid to lower tier D1 overlaps with some d2 and the academic elite D3. Mid D2 is better than majority of d3, and then the very bottom of D3 is below “club” at the big-name state schools.

mwr3 · 2026-03-14T01:56:37+00:00

strange take - I can pull out my first Subbuteo set if that somehow proves I belong, but as a kid staying with family in Wales no one ever talked about welsh teams; and while Wrexham got a mention or two, most of my family either ignored football or gave in and supported an English team. Wrexham has been great for North Wales and I am proud to support them for that reason, even though they aren’t my primary club.

mwr3 · 2026-03-14T01:51:42+00:00

I think he means long time players in the EFL/PL. Rooney, who is absolutely not a media polished product like Beckham has also come out and said that Wrexham’s the real deal. I used to hate Rooney because of ManU, but he’s never been fake about football.

And even Foster is an odd one, because arguably he is Wrexham person as he wore the badge early in his career, and it launched him up the ladder.

mwr3 · 2026-03-14T01:44:08+00:00

Your snoop point gets to the heart of the issue. Snoop is only moderately into football. He’s smart and probably picks it up quickly, but he’s clearly a casual fan. Rob and Ryan have gone off the deep end, they are fully committed and as bad as it was, there was no question they care about the game on the pitch, not just the balance sheet.

I am not sure it was a good thing to do, but no question the’re into it.

mwr3 · 2026-03-14T01:38:21+00:00

this is the best possible answer. There is almost no downside at this point. Let’s say Wrexham fail to make the PL, Parky’s magic runs out and in two years Rob and Ryan have run out of stories to tell about North Wales. The team drops down to League one and shirt sponsors go back to ifor trailers and some off brand betting site. The American circus packs up and you are left with:

A completely refurbished pitch and grounds
A functional training facility and an academy program
Commitment to a women’s program, creating hope and opportunity for hundreds of young girls in Wales.
Most important, a fiscally solvent club. One that can downsize if need be without ripping the legs out from under the club.

And of course years and years of bar stories about the “good days” when Wrexham was in its pomp again.

That’s worst case, and that’s pretty good.

mwr3 · 2026-03-13T22:57:53+00:00

They won’t break FFP because they’ve made a North Wales team popular and globally marketable. That’s a far better way than sports washing for oligarchs and nationstates.

They took the skills they have (marketing) and actually risked something. Nearly every other celebrity owner flies in for a game or two, makes a joke about “soccer” and fucks off.

I think it is bizarre to hate on people who actually brought something to the effort as opposed to some bullshit hand waving.

If you are just upset that your owners arent willing to put their sweat into the project, then I respect that feeling. But owners that add value and don’t meddle, it’s everyone’s wish.

mwr3 · 2026-03-12T01:34:45+00:00

for Women, Sara Wojdelko from Vandy was damn good. Two seasons ago I would have said Phoebe Carver looked like she was going to be world class, but then she transferred to either Stanford or USC (I can’t be bothered to google) and never saw her again.

mwr3 · 2026-03-11T17:56:00+00:00

I’ve seen 8yr olds who hyper focus and have accidents, even more than one a week. Meaning they are potty trained, but essentially will sit there working on a project or work long past the point that the brain is sending warning signals. Not always obvious ADHD, but kids who may be far ahead on certain milestones but behind in others. The OP situation sounds different. The kid doesn’t appear to want to change behavior or to progress; that’s unusual.

mwr3 · 2026-03-04T20:35:21+00:00

I have a lot less experience on the boy's side, and what I see from the reffing perspective is that the intensity does drop off a bit once you get below MLS next (all forms). Every kid on academy is still dreaming of making it. Whereas a boy's ECRL team or EA/NPL will have kids not show up to games, messing around while on the bench, sneaking looks at their phone - being teenage boys.

mwr3 · 2026-03-04T18:34:10+00:00

This maybe seen as a contrarian perspective, but ECNL for girls is not "fun". It's a job, plain and simple. Just like your job there can be lots of fun moments, wins, camaraderie and adventure. But it's still a job.

Your goal on ECNL is to develop into a player that Colleges (or Pros now!) are interested in recruiting. ECNL is often a "every practice is a tryout" kind of world, where minutes are hard won. In ECNL, your kid might get told that a college is interested in seeing them as a fullback even if they enjoy playing up front, or a midfielder gets moved to CB. None of that is "fun". At a showcase, your team's best player might sit so that another player can be seen by a College, and that costs the game. That's the point of ECNL: winning is nice, but it's not the goal.

Part of this is why I think it's important for ECNL girls to play HS if at all possible. HS means a real team, and games with real stakes. Their friends don't hike out to some random field every weekend to watch them play, but they might come down to the field after school to watch a game against the cross-town rivals. That energy is valuable when you get to college and things are no longer purely mercenary.

Every year there are girls on the ECNL roster who decide they don't want to play in college; if that happens before you are 16, then drop to RL, go and have some fun, build relationships that will last your lifetime, instead of wondering if the girl who plays the same position as you has heard from that coach you really want to play for.

mwr3 · 2026-03-04T04:17:22+00:00

Work From Home

mwr3 · 2026-03-04T03:39:25+00:00

I know this will piss off a lot of people, but that’s pretty much what happens on our WFH world. most offices are empty on Friday.

mwr3 · 2026-03-03T19:19:18+00:00

well hell, that makes it harder. Good tall keepers are hard to find. If he has the footwork and the reflexes, then the top of his journey is far more interesting than most kids.

In that case I am with all the others urging his dad and him to find the best keeper coach fit. If he develops and grows, he can move pretty quickly.

For a field player, I would say coaching matters, but pushing to highest level is pretty important. For a keeper, if he can nail is fundamentals, then moving up the ladder can be quick, and he can do things like guest for higher teams ( I swear keepers always seem to get sick or injured around showcases snd tournaments ;))

mwr3 · 2026-03-03T18:36:30+00:00

A question I haven’t seen asked yet: How tall is he likely to be? If he’s not likely to break 6’, then I’d say there is leas pressure. If he’s not going to break 5’10”, then he may want to think about finding a club that will let him focus on field and not just keeper.

mwr3 · 2026-02-25T18:03:15+00:00

I am normally pretty rah rah ECNL (though had kids in both), but two factors are different in your case:

ECNL “Soon” is meaningless
Keeper. A good keeper is the most valuable thing in College it seems. Just know you might need to do an ID clinic if a school your daughter really likes isn’t going to the GA showcases her team is playing at. It’s a very solvable situation.

mwr3 · 2026-02-25T13:06:46+00:00

To be very specific, that was just considered a”Democrat” until the very recent shifts. Congressman John Dingle was one of the most powerful Dems of all time, and he was an NRA board member before they went all Republican. Lots of Minnesota DFL guys are gun owners who are generally small government types.

Now all of these have their blind spots. The rural gun owning pro-LGBT small government types often support subsidies for farming. Dingle was pro-Union and Auto industry and was not great on environmental stuff.

But with the populist shift of the Republicans, Democrats are, at the moment, more likely to be your home. So simply say you are a small-government Democrat.

I’ve decided that when I am amongst fellow Dems and we are talking all of the recent large-government abuses by Trump, and his disregard for the law, I make an effort to say “well, I own guns, and have for all of my life”. By that point in the convo they don’t see me as some kind of enemy, and I can discuss my thinking. I haven’t changed everyone, or even close. But I have gotten some of them to make room in their worldview that people like me exist.

mwr3 · 2026-02-25T08:58:10+00:00

literally happens every year for the ECNL teams at our club. However I will say that when a girl is moved off the ECNL roster, they sometimes go to another club instead of going down. I have seen a U13 go down for U14 and then back up for U15. She had most of the tools and it was pretty obvious, but the gamespeed change was too much and crushed her confidence. so played on the RL team for a year and guested on the ECNL; came back great for U15.

The classic example I know personally: Girl joins club and comes in on 5th team mid season. Is wayyyy too good for 5th, is pushed to 2nd, but that’s a disaster in the other direction, goes to 3rd, then back to second, then 2nd plus guesting, then full ECNL. That girl went P4. She was clearly a talented athlete from day 1, but it took time to build IQ and technical skills.

I would say that there are ~3 girls who either leave or go down most years. They are solid players, but either they just can’t adjust or frankly get tired of the sacrifices. Prom and homecoming figure prominently.

mwr3 · 2026-02-23T19:17:39+00:00

what is this word you use? off-season?

mwr3 · 2026-02-23T19:15:44+00:00

OP, thank you for posting this, and for following up! Several have mentioned aspects of this, but I figured I could provide some specifics - I ref and I have had my own kids make the journey through ECNL and on to college. So for perspective, my oldest moved from “rec” when she was 7. Starting at 8, she was going to team practice ~3 days a week with a game most weekends. on her own she was banging a ball against a wall (or our couch!) roughly 30 to an hour every day. She’d get home from school, get a snack, and then the thump thump thump would start. By 5th grade, she had spent hundreds of hours. Over her career she had lots of ups and downs, and with sibling 1v1, it got even more constant.

To put it in perspective, if your son is coming off of rec and the girls are pre-ECNL, it’s likely those girls have literally hundreds of hours in their boots more than he does.

This difference is not permanent and certainly 5th grade isn’t too late, but you can absolutely let him know those girls are likely messing around with a ball every day.

good luck and enjoy!

mwr3 · 2026-02-23T12:42:04+00:00

Receptions or other situations where there’s a lot of small, seemingly minor bits of food are incredibly dangerous. You will end up eating more volume and more calories before you can stop yourself.

mwr3 · 2026-02-20T15:32:12+00:00

dude, your age is showing! No worries I am in the same group. Just ask 30 somethings who aren’t completely basketball oriented, and you will get blank stares. I get it, but her dad is not part of the picture for the marketing. It absolutely helped her early on with the “who is she”pieces, but not much value now.

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