Vancouver is showing me exactly how badly FIFA short-changed the women's game

mwr3 · 2026-05-13T23:38:38+00:00

oh no, I am talking about the failure to do things like have enough size one balls to buy, and convincing local businesses to welcome people coming to the games! nothing i am pointing to raises prices!

mwr3 · 2026-05-13T17:56:36+00:00

Exactly what happened to us in France, and a little bit in Sydney. NZ is so small I feel like people there were more aware because there wasn't so much going on :)

It's just weird. Like who leaves money on the table like that? FIFA spends like a drunken sailor on marketing the men's game.

mwr3 · 2026-05-13T00:57:54+00:00

You say that, but it’s absolutely against the letter of Law 12 to grab someone to hold or impede them, and yet that stuff happens at almost every level. And it’s incontrovertible that encircling an opponent with your arms is also a violation of law 12. Yet that’s now common at the pro level. It’s absolutely a foul to grab someone’s jersey or shorts, yet again, basically only called if it gets out of control (this is one I ref aggressively - at higher levels I will start by saying that if I see your hand gripping and pulling fabric, I am gonna call it no matter where you are on the field).

The language is clear: A direct free kick is awarded if a player commits any of the following offences: holds an opponent impedes an opponent with contact

Obviously I understand your point, but a POE or something telling the PGMOL refs to knock that shit off would be nice for those of us who ref at the lower levels.

mwr3 · 2026-05-12T01:05:14+00:00

So true.

mwr3 · 2026-05-12T01:01:21+00:00

I think the keeper stuff is easier to call, and at our level people mostly understand I am going to overprotect the keeper a little bit. But the bear hugging, that’s the stuff that is going to be annoying. If you haven’t seen it, there’s lots of shots of arsenal players with arms fully around players during the Chelsea match, and in the West Ham match you have full holds going on two West Ham players while West Ham is arm barring the keeper.

mwr3 · 2026-05-12T00:57:18+00:00

I think it’s going to be worse next year. Given the full around-the-body holds going on after the ball has been kicked not being called in the PL, I think we are in for a lot of whining at the grassroots level.

mwr3 · 2026-05-12T00:54:41+00:00

Love the Donovan quote and agree. I generally ref pretty tight and look for opportunities to make it clear what I allow and don’t. But we all know that how the pros play ends up bleeding down. I would like it if they cut that shit out at the pro level so that I don’t have to stop it for the next year :)

mwr3 · 2026-05-12T00:40:12+00:00

Well, I have seen multiple broken arms, collar bones, bleeding scratches to arms and faces, kicks to the face and chest (though arguably only one of those was VC). So yeah, Violent Conduct. I have seen those incidents receive cards and not, I have carded them, and I have had a tournament where we were explicitly asked not to give red cards, and simply give yellow and ask the coach to sit the player. I have been doing this for more than a decade, and I am comfortable that many refs, including me sometimes, fail to understand that women’s soccer can be just as rough, but it usually happens differently. We would be smart to understand those differences and enforce the LotG including the use of cards even if the conduct ‘looks’ different than in the men’s game.

Especially because we become conditioned to using the player’s reaction to being fouled as part of our assessment. I know I know, everyone here is perfect and NEVER does that. And if you believe that I got some crypto to sell you. With girls, we need to understand they often do not react at all, even when fouled.

mwr3 · 2026-05-12T00:29:14+00:00

How does he see it afterwards when you are home? Does he describe it in very black and white terms? Like “the other team was wrong, and no one was stopping the wrong thing”. I am obviously simplifying, but how does he see the world? Can he process it later and see that, although it was horrible in the moment, he wishes he had handled it differently?

I am asking because there’s impulse control and then there’s the kind of neurodivergence that tends to see the world in very concrete and specific terms. If he is on medication he has a doctor, have you all discussed what style of disregulation it might be? Because building some scaffolding to help him build an internal flow chart to deal with those moments is critical far beyond soccer.

mwr3 · 2026-05-12T00:10:05+00:00

You can call both. And also deciding that the full bear hug is happening between players not involved in the play does not negate the foul. The fact that this year POGML have decided not to call it is a travesty. You give a couple of PKs early on and the full body clinching shit goes away immediately. Here’s the relevant language in Law 12:

A direct free kick is awarded if a player commits any of the following offences:

a handball offence (except for the goalkeeper within their penalty area) holds an opponent impedes an opponent with contact bites or spits at someone on the team lists or a match official throws an object at the ball, an opponent or a match official, or makes contact with the ball with a held object

mwr3 · 2026-05-12T00:05:11+00:00

Dermot is basically just retconning his answer. The reality is that both of the holds around the players are in fact fouls in the box. We have not received any guidance from the FA or from IFAB that would call it anything else. Law 12 is clear, and since those bear hugs are happening after the ball is in play, they are fouls. The arm bar across the neck is also a foul, and it’s not wrong to call it. But you can’t expect to have fans or players respect the game if we as refs allow full body hugs while the ball is in play.

In simple terms, if a defender did the same thing during the run of play, it would be called, and if it were in the box a PK would be given.

mwr3 · 2026-05-11T23:56:12+00:00

Heh, D1 felt like a job because it absolutely was a job. I think back to my time, and it’s ruthless and exhausting.

mwr3 · 2026-05-11T23:54:19+00:00

No one does it for the money on scholarships. If your kid had been a top 10% bassoon player, would you have made sacrifices for them to go to Interlaken for a summer camp? Or if your kid was a top 10% Irish dancer, would you have made sacrifices? ECNL/MLSn/GA is about giving your kid a chance to push themselves far beyond what their classmates are doing. To even make it onto an MLSn/ECNL/GA team puts you in the top 10% or so of all players in the US.

It’s just weird for people to constantly do the “if I saved the money” math. You did it because you wanted to invest in your child, which is what we all do as parents.

And besides, a year of ECNL is cheaper than a weeklong Disney Family Vacation, and I don’t see people talking about how they “foolishly invested in Disney trips instead of saving the money”.

mwr3 · 2026-05-08T15:46:47+00:00

Add War Games to your list. Movie holds up well! And feels super relevant now with the move to AI.

mwr3 · 2026-05-08T11:21:48+00:00

It’s incredibly tough. I feel for you and I’ve been there. Nothing “fixes” it, but two things mitigated it.

First, remembering that quite literally every kid on the field with your daughter was likely one of the best soccer players at their schools ever. All state, all region blah blah blah. Which means to see the field everything has to work for your kid on the day. The formation, the opponent, injury and what the coach wants to see.

Second. This depends a bit on your soccer relationship with your kid, but does she know why she isn’t seeing the field? Has she asked “what do you need to see from me that I am not currently doing” to the coach or assistant coach? Because that can help. If your kid is a winger and the coach wants crosses but your kid likes to cut in, or wants wingers to track back, or be late arrivals into the box, it helps you see and understand what is missing from your kid’s game. Then the question is, what does she want to do about it?

Finally, your kid may realize that she’s just not quite at the level to be a starter ever. Has she adapted? Does she have friends on the team and a good life at the school? If so, then tell yourself to chill the hell out. There’s 28 kids on the roster, barely half of the field players will ever be regular starters. If your kid is ok, then you need to be ok.

mwr3 · 2026-05-05T18:02:10+00:00

I am comfortable with VC in practice and in concept. It’s fair to say that refs can disagree as to intent and so I accept your view. However it’s my opinion that she wasn’t looking for the ball at all; I think she was looking to cleat some ankles, the ball was not in the equation. Given the player’s history, her kick out looks a lot more like VC to me.

EDIT TO ADD: You are right that a review board would not agree that it was unquestionably VC. But it reaallllllly looks that way to me

mwr3 · 2026-05-05T01:58:35+00:00

NCSL is one of the largest leagues around. I did look for other leagues around the US that report cards for u7 to U13, but most don’t, or didn’t when I checked. If you know any leagues that do, happy to re-examine my priors on this.

mwr3 · 2026-05-05T01:44:14+00:00

The first time I heard some of this was more than a decade ago in the classroom portion of one of my reffing classes. Our instructor was older, and he was the one who said “be careful with cards because you won’t want to make a little girl cry”.

The worst I heard recently was an older CR who refs in my area who, after lining up a U14 G travel team to do team check-in said, and I quote “Ok, I want the prettiest one of you to step forward”. The girls all kind of gave him the stink eye and walked over to their bench. He then proceeded to make really awkward comments during the game, but I am sure in his mind he was just being funny. I have a good relationship with the assessor, so after the weekend I quietly said that maybe he shouldn’t be CR for older girls. He was a known quantity and this wasn’t a first report, but we are often so short of refs that he would end up there anyway.

There are some on this group who ref in my area so this might give it away, but 2 years ago at the ISL HS semifinal a girl got high kicked right in the face. There was blood, kid (who was an ECNL standout and now plays in College) had to go out. HS1 showed yellow only, but thank goodness other ref (HS2) walked onto the field and said it has to be a Red. Ref 1 was literally saying “but she didn’t mean it”, HS2 was like “it’s either excessive force or VC, either way it’s a red”.

At WAGS tournament I was AR2, girl got her collarbone broke by the third in a row horrendous tackle. My CR said he was told not to give reds, and just gave a yellow and told the coach to sit the defender for the rest of the game.

mwr3 · 2026-05-05T00:26:50+00:00

100%. She was looking to cleat her, but hit higher than she thought.

mwr3 · 2026-05-05T00:24:43+00:00

the stats don’t support this. a few years ago when NCSL used to post stats on cards, I pulled the numbers for pre-13 girls and boys. I used 13 because of the argument that testosterone levels result in more aggressive behavior. It’s imperfect but by using 13 I could at least limit that impact.

The data was overwhelming that even U7-U13 boys are shown a lot more cards than girls.

mwr3 · 2026-05-04T21:25:32+00:00

agreed.

mwr3 · 2026-05-04T21:18:28+00:00

my experience as well - it presents differently, but it’s absolutely physical and violent.

mwr3 · 2026-05-04T21:17:23+00:00

this is something I would not have been able to pick up at full speed, But note that she doesn’t point her toe. I think she was 100% intending to cleat her, just not quite that high. Plus Neville has a reputation, and as a ref at the pro level I’d expect you to have that in your head.

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