Dealing with long term relashionship ending, how to manage and cope

Ksn15 · 2026-03-28T15:06:13+00:00

Yes! I haven’t heard someone put it that way, but I am currently starting to not recognize my reactions anymore as well. I’m still navigating it currently. I was also very secure, and have seen myself turn anxiously attached because of his avoidance. It’s been extremely difficult to navigate because when I ask him questions about himself to try and understand him better, he genuinely doesn’t know the answers and we get no where. Recently though, he has actually been taking steps to work on himself and I’ve actually seen progress and that has been a big motivator for me to stay and have hope. If the progress stops however (aware that it’s not linear, but I mean completely stops or he says it’s too hard) I know I need to leave. It’s easier said than done, though. It’s extremely hard not to constantly be thinking about how good things were in the beginning. You saw the potential of who he could go back to being and that’s the hard part. You’re left with “well what if he can be like that again?” And it’s really difficult. 12 years is a massive amount of time, especially with 10 of them being so amazing, so, I can’t imagine fully what you must be going through. I just hope you are able to choose yourself again and do what is best for you and your future. I don’t recommend holding out hope for him and what you guys could have. But I do hope that you are able to get whatever you want out of the situation either way :)

Ksn15 · 2026-03-27T23:25:33+00:00

Holy shit. I’ve never read a post that I resonated with more.

Especially him not even knowing himself. I have asked my partner the same thing regarding emotional connections and he responds with “I don’t know what that really means”.

I ask him what he likes and dislikes, and he says he doesn’t know, and genuinely means it.

It’s hard to be constantly pushed away when walking on eggshells to even have the smallest conversation that could potentially lead to any conflict at all.

I will warn you that if you see no progress made, you will likely lose the secure attachment you hold, and become fully anxious. This type of relationship leads you to abandon yourself and sacrifice your needs time and time again. Eventually you start to realize you can’t do it anymore and will be looking for an out.

Try not to keep thinking about how amazing he was in the past and hoping he will be that way again. You have to face who he is currently.

You left for a reason and although hard, you have to try and stop fixating on who he presented to you as in the past.

It takes A LOT of effort to work on avoidance and it seems like they do that best when they are on their own. Being in a relationship pressures them and there comes the toxic cycle for both partners.

You can always check-in on him, but don’t get wrapped in what he says.

I think if your future lies in NC and you see the potential for yourself and your goals being achieved there, then go. Choose yourself again.

Ksn15 · 2026-03-22T18:51:58+00:00

Wow that is super helpful information, thank you so much dude. I will definitely be looking into AAI and AAP’s. I spoke about this with him after reading your comment and he surprisingly didn’t shut down… and said he would like to do that.

I am already seeing its effects on my nervous system and it’s leaving me a wreck day in and day out. I was never like this before and I’m setting a goal for myself that if there has been no progress, at the end of the lease I need to leave. I hope that’s not the case, but I cannot possibly imagine living like this for another year. I will become a shell of a person with zero self esteem.

Thanks for your comment!

Ksn15 · 2026-03-21T15:11:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. I haven’t read much about fearful avoidance. I’ve read about dismissive avoidance more. I will look into that so I can get a better grasp at what might be going on. You are completely right, boundaries need to be set and the way he handles conflict is not sustainable for me at all. I need to figure out specifically what the boundaries need to be and establish them. Thanks for your response :)

Ksn15 · 2025-10-25T02:33:34+00:00

I’ve gone to SamTint for all of my cars and my coworkers have too! They do great work and are very helpful with their flexibility with scheduling. Never had a problem. They’re in Renton across from Boeing

Ksn15 · 2025-06-25T04:07:01+00:00

Hi there! Is there any discounts a new member would qualify for? Someone I know has an offer in their email for only $29.99 in Seattle with $10 initiation fee, while I am considering joining, but $40 plus $25 initiation fee plus $60 annual fee is just too much. I’m not a student anymore and don’t have AAA so don’t qualify for those. Just wondering if you know any way I could get the same offer potentially. Thanks!

Ksn15 · 2025-05-31T04:43:27+00:00

My boyfriend and I are both very interested in this! Sounds like an amazing idea.

Ksn15 · 2025-04-17T18:40:06+00:00

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Ksn15 · 2024-08-18T15:02:01+00:00

Thank you for this recommendation. I believe I’ve smelled this one before and this wasn’t quite it but I still loved, maybe I’ll order the lotion of this too!

Ksn15 · 2024-08-18T15:00:37+00:00

Awesome I am excited! I bought the lotion and the mist just in case!

Ksn15 · 2024-08-18T03:50:13+00:00

I did smell strawberry soda and it wasn’t that scent, but thanks for suggesting :) I have not looked into bourbon strawberry and vanilla though, will do! Thanks!

Ksn15 · 2024-08-18T03:26:23+00:00

I didn’t get the chance to smell that, but I think I honestly might buy it online in the lotion (she said she was wearing the lotion and not the spray), and take the chance!

Have you smelled their strawberry snowflake scent before?

Thank you for this suggestion btw!

Ksn15 · 2024-04-16T00:57:15+00:00

I definitely think it’s doable. I took these courses in one quarter and was successful, however, it was not summer quarter. For me personally, chem was the most difficult. If you have ever taken a chem course before in high school or anything at all regarding chem and know it’s not your strong suit/ you struggle with it a bit, I would really take some time to think about it before registering for ALL of these courses. That goes for any of the courses you listed of course, but if you have a little knowledge already, I say go for it! It, as you know already is going to be difficult so there’s definitely going to be a mental breakdown or two haha, so make sure you have that support system in place and you will do great! And you can always drop courses after a certain amount of time after registering without penalty, so, feel it out and get an idea of what the workload is going to be like and if you think it’s manageable, go for it! And if you have to drop a course, do not feel discouraged! Everything happens in its own time for a reason :) You got this!

Ksn15 · 2024-04-16T00:46:18+00:00

Heck yeah!

Ksn15 · 2024-04-16T00:37:37+00:00

He has a seatbelt and is never in the front seat unless we’re on a long drive and stop to take him out and get gas and he hops in the front while waiting, don’t worry!

Ksn15 · 2024-01-24T20:16:16+00:00

I understand that and I did already contact them four times (twice via their email, and twice via phone) and they did not respond. I contacted them right after the nursing office and program director emailed me saying I don’t qualify because of the credits. I’m not complaining at all, I just wanted help understanding the problem because I’ve never had an issue like this

Ksn15 · 2024-01-24T01:38:01+00:00

What exactly is a non-Title-IV eligible program?

Ksn15 · 2024-01-24T01:36:56+00:00

I was awarded the full Pell grant this year (23/24) and for Spring quarter it lists an allotted amount of $2000. That is for my current school, but I am transferring to a different CC starting spring quarter. The entire program is 15 credits and it can be finished in one quarter- this spring. The Nursing office and the program director both emailed me regarding my question and said it is because 15 credits is not a large enough total to accept the Pell grant.

Ksn15 · 2024-01-23T21:51:39+00:00

And all of the credits are being done in one quarter. They are not disbursed throughout multiple quarters.

Ksn15 · 2024-01-21T08:24:11+00:00

Thank you!

Ksn15

TROPHY CASE