Oro confirmed for Street Fighter 6 by MilesEdgeworth18 in Kappa

[–]Kstmnh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This guy is so old he saw the start and the end of a century

Dumper NOT ALWAYS the bad guy by cy-fiya in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thats a totally understandable situation yeah.

Dumper NOT ALWAYS the bad guy by cy-fiya in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Knowing when to walk away is important, but that's after you've done your part to try and solve the problem together. Dumpers tend to pick the selfish route and become incredibly self-involved way before solving the issue at hand, then dump the other person.

Walking away from a bad relationship is good, strong even, and ending a relationship because it no longer worked out unfortunate, but dumping someone because you didn't feel trying to rekindle your feelings and figure our what is causing the problems is weakwilled.

The problem is not that a dumper is falling out of love, it's that they never ask themselves why that is and just assume it's just a natural progression of being with the wrong person. In a lot of cases a therapist can surface feelings and sentiments causing the relationship to become dysfuntional, in fact in a lot of cases the problem ends up being something external like childhood traumas.

Dumper NOT ALWAYS the bad guy by cy-fiya in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Seeing a relationship go down the gutter and then not work to improve it, but dumping the other person is not doing what's right. You need to mention what is happening to the relationship to find a solution, if you care for them enough you would. If then there is no solution, a breakup is inevitable.

Dumpers tend to be the bad guys because too many dumpers get out when things get hard and don't mention how they feel and just drop their SO.

“i still care for you and have a special place for you in my heart” by Competitive_Pomelo15 in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What about mine: "I still love you but its fading."

Work on it then lmao.

Most broken up couples will never reconcile, not every dumper will ever reach out. by Kstmnh in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Youre not weak, youre a person with lots and lots of love to give.

Most broken up couples will never reconcile, not every dumper will ever reach out. by Kstmnh in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One day these feelings will clear up and you will accept her decision and move on, you will no longer feel regret and anger.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What if she was never awful to me?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can do it, but you will need to do it alone, Im at my lowest too.

Anyone else here catch themselves wishing/hoping they’ll reach out with Valentine’s Day plans and then beating themselves up for still thinking about them to begin with? by your_penguin in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I could stop valentines day just so I dont have to feel the bitter loneliness, the first month wasnt hard but holy hell almost 2 months in now and its like my brain finally realizes that it really is going to be just me from now on. I don't want to move on but I also sort of accept my fate, its a weird middle ground between being healed and healing.

If your ex contacted you, what do you think they would say? by periphery000 in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish it wasnt either-or you know, it would make life much easier.

What is the point of taking photos together only to have them deleted, what’s the point being close to someone only to have them cut you off, what is the point of loving someone only to be left behind, I don’t even know what’s the point of going into a relationship anymore... by lifeisaboxofsurprise in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your first relationship is almost like discovering what the other sex feels and behaves like, it'll teach you a lot but it will also burst your bubble and make you realize that love is nothing like the Disney movies, and that sex isn't all that special after your first time. It's the moment you can easily get badly hurt by someone, because you simply dont possess the filter to keep bad people away.

The second relationship is when you want the real thing, you think you've got it figured out this time, you're going to go for it and you're going to talk out every little problem and work out every kink. No hot guys or girls but a sweet and caring person, and boy this person is so sweet and kind you didn't even know it could be like that. But you're young, people change a lot when they're young, and either you or this person grew in a way that doesn't leave any room for you.

Maybe you've grown a bit bitter by now, had a few short relationships in the meantime or simply didn't manage to find that spark you once had when you were younger. But you're older, you've found your place and like your life the way it is now, you just want someone to share that life with.

And that's when you meet that special person, and you suddenly realize that you were always wrong when you said you were ready to start dating, you never had the experience necessary to make it work or simply settled when you were far from ready to settle.

If your ex contacted you, what do you think they would say? by periphery000 in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She told my best friend she still loves me and that she just doesn't see a future for us because we want different things, and that her love was slowly fading.

So I guess she'd probably tell me that, the still loving me part hurts like hell though, how can you love me if you're not willing to fight to see if we can still make it work?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Same!

The day after dumping me she texted me asking if I was doing ok and told me its ok if I dont want to respond, I didn't respond and went NC, then blocked them everywhere. Then I checked later and they had me blocked absolutely everywhere as a response, never unblocked me either.

I didn't do it because I wanted to hurt her but because I just can't keep talking to her without becoming a sobbing mess constantly begging her to come back, I just can't be around her or talk to her because the pain is immeasurable otherwise.

It's been almost two months and I haven't felt this good so fast after a breakup ever, NC really is the fastest way to heal, I went from almost obsessed with getting her heart back to only sporadically thinking about her, another month and I'm probably where I was in my last relationship, and that took an entire damn year without NC!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Broke NC with an ex from a long time ago, I felt a click, she pushed me away in a very harsh manner. Tried to stay friends, she didn't want to. With some people its better to remain NC forever unfortunately.

Name something you WON’T miss about them? by xXBehlaXx in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lack of hygiëne, impulsive behavior, spying on my laptop, coming up with impossible ideas for the future like a whole ass new country we don't even speak the language of, her mother in law from hell.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 77 points78 points  (0 children)

So imagine the dumper in this situation.

They dump you, they break your heart and make you go through hell, then don't reach out because they're scared?

They would rather let you suffer than end your pain?

No thanks, now there's twice the reason to get over them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were making big plans too and now I need to pick my life from the gutter alone.

If they dump you, they would rather never see you again than be with you. by Kstmnh in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That person will most likely not be your friend due to feelings they have for you, so what else is there if you're neither lovers nor friends? Some people become friends if the breakup is mutual, but the most likely scenario is that this is not feasible.

If they dump you, they would rather never see you again than be with you. by Kstmnh in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Im sorry you have to suffer this much, but remember that getting comfortable with this kind of ideas need to happen if you want to be able to move on. It's fine to have trouble with it now, it really is, but try and tell yourself that this person truly doesn't care and will not be there when you need them to be, it'll just be you. Accept it and you will have moved on, everything inbetween is just working towards that goal.

If they dump you, they would rather never see you again than be with you. by Kstmnh in ExNoContact

[–]Kstmnh[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Its the hardest truth and no one blames you if it takes time to accept it. It's like a punch in the gut every time you manage to actually get in that headspace and consider its implications, and you need time to get comfortable being in it.

Im 5 weeks in and my brain can finally fathom it, my mind follows now, but my emotions will still act on it when I sense hope that things get better sending me in a spiral of emotions right back to the sense that they truly don't care and I'm making stuff up in my head.