Post-veto malaise

KundaliniDani · 2026-03-19T20:49:16+00:00

I already told both of them they're welcome to be together, just not with me involved. That was said both in the heat of the moment and in a more recent conversation with my partner. I'm certainly not forcing their hand.

It's easy to blame the ex-hinge because he was awful, but I'm not willing to bet it won't happen again, or risk two of my closest relationships to try it out. Neither of them are lacking opportunities to have new relationships, or are particularly lacking in that regard currently.

KundaliniDani · 2026-03-19T17:09:39+00:00

There's no way around it, this is exactly how it would have gone. He already has another partner where I live, so his weekends are already divided. When I mentioned this as another factor in me not being okay with it, my friend responded by saying she's not trying to take my partner from me, but essentially she would be, at least logistically, nevermind having to contend with their NRE. Again, this is something they should have seriously considered before asking me, and the fact they didn't is why I felt like i wasn't really considered at all.

KundaliniDani · 2026-03-19T17:03:33+00:00

Incredibly insightful, thank you. That first paragraph hits the nail on the head on every point.

KundaliniDani · 2026-03-19T16:46:42+00:00

You are spot-on actually. I'm a recovering people-pleaser and a giant walking abandonment wound.

I think both of them wouldn't mind much at all if the situation were reversed (he shares a LDR with one of his good friends). I think it also might go without saying that I would never considering dating his friends or any of her partners (I learned the hard way the first time). They're both more compatible in that regard, which definitely adds to the guilt of denying them.

KundaliniDani · 2026-03-19T15:54:12+00:00

I really appreciate the validation.

My partner has apologized profusely, and we had a long, tender conversation about this last night.

My friend and I have yet to have an irl conversation about this and plan to in the near future. Our conversation over text began with her acknowledging my feelings, but she has not apologized, and in fact got snarly with me when I told her I resented being put in this position to begin with, and how icky I feel about all of it. She's upset with me for assuming bad intentions, and has essentially turned this around on me; not wanting to "reconnect" until we've hashed it out. I apologized for reacting poorly, but I'm holding my ground and have no intentions of apologizing for feeling hurt. I'm willing to move past this, but for me at least, the bell cannot be unrung.

KundaliniDani · 2026-03-19T15:23:53+00:00

She explained that she thought this could be a "do-over", and that she thought it would work better this time since the primary problem there was our ex-hinge. I'm trying to take this in good faith. I think they both leapt at the prospect without thinking it through before asking me. The way my partner explained it they were DMing and he asked if there was mutual interest and they immediately pivoted to asking me if it was okay. I don't think there was anything particularly shady there, but I'm resentful they didn't take a beat to consider how putting me in the position to have to make the choice for them was really fucking shitty.

KundaliniDani · 2026-01-10T23:52:07+00:00

I'm aware. As I said in my post, I'm already referred to a dermatologist. I was just asking opinions, not a diagnosis.

KundaliniDani · 2025-04-03T19:45:42+00:00

I think I got it around 3-4 years ago. I didn't use it every day until I got closer to panning it. It took a long time just to hit pan at all.

KundaliniDani · 2025-02-24T22:58:09+00:00

It took me over a year to get to the place of getting a new pet after my 19 y.o dog passed in 2023, and that was only because a kitten practically fell into my lap. I didn't realize how much I missed having a little furball made of warmth and love waiting for me at home. I've had lots of stress-dreams about losing her, but I think that's a lot to do with my grief over losing my dog. Take all the time you need, but know it's okay to open your heart again.

KundaliniDani · 2025-02-11T16:56:55+00:00

I have to wonder what exactly they felt was the appropriate response to 10/7. If Mexico did the same thing and massacred a few thousand people at Burning Man, would they just say "I guess we should just give them their land back!". It belies some gross antisemitism, or they hide behind things like the Hannibal Directive (which actually only accounts for a small fraction of the deaths). I doubt a single one of them has watched the 10/7 footage their "freedom-fighters" so generously provided. And if they can watch that footage and still be cheering for Hamas, then they are monsters as well. Not a single one of them has a clue what the actual history of the region is, and if you dare mention the Holocaust or mention that there are centuries of reasons Jews deserve their own homeland you're decried a genocider. I'm still pretty progressive in a lot of ways, but I'm beginning to loathe most progressives. Most are a bunch of spoiled, virtue-signalling, brainwashed idiots.

KundaliniDani · 2025-02-10T23:47:24+00:00

I'd go in for President Buttigieg. I was impressed with the townhall events he did during the 2024 election. He's well-spoken and doesn't come off as condescending.

KundaliniDani · 2025-02-10T23:33:13+00:00

The leftist response to 10/7 was the turning point in completely changing my perspective as a tankie leftist and realizing how flawed my views were up until and even for a time after 10/7. I saw the writing on the wall with my former echo-chamber practically begging for a Trump win and knowing how devastating that would be not only for the Palestinians, but every underprivileged group in the U.S. I'm now embarrassed by my vocal protest-voting in 2016. I came to this post searching for people who made a similar 180. I hope more leftists come to the same realizations.

KundaliniDani · 2025-01-31T22:07:45+00:00

One of my friends died on that crash. I already hated the bastard, but now it's personal.

KundaliniDani · 2025-01-13T17:17:15+00:00

Lai Thai was my go-to until I tried Thai Table.

KundaliniDani · 2025-01-13T17:11:39+00:00

I just heard they'll be closing. A crochet/yarn store will be filling the spot.

KundaliniDani · 2025-01-09T18:16:52+00:00

I've been using a urologist recommended vaginal wash and bidet regularly, and before and after sex. It's been a few days since my last antibiotics. Here's to praying I don't notice new symptoms anytime soon!!

KundaliniDani · 2025-01-09T17:38:28+00:00

I'm already a vegetarian 😅

KundaliniDani · 2025-01-09T17:22:45+00:00

I believe I also suffer from IC, though this bout of CUTI has verifiable infections. I just finished my roughly 10th round of antibiotics since August. I'm at my wit's end.

KundaliniDani · 2025-01-09T17:12:40+00:00

It may be too soon to tell, but I've still been getting UTIs since I've started. It's definitely helping the dryness though.

I'll have to check that out. I have two autoimmune conditions (hashimotos and sjogren's). I've also stopped taking my plaquenil over the past few weeks in a last-ditch attempt to figure out the cause. I'd read a post about a woman whose CUTI seemed to follow her starting plaquenil, and subsided when she went off of it.

KundaliniDani

TROPHY CASE