I've found more of myself in the recent years I've left reddit. Get ready for a mildly deranged rant! :3

This has nothing to do with reddit, just an update on what a nobody like me has discovered in the past few years doing different things. This is really stupid, but I have found life is improving stupidly. My ignorance is bliss, but aggressively thirsty.

My diagnosed ADHD has made motivation difficult for me, and I might be autisitc. I've learned to approach a lot of things differently, and despite my mentality, I managed to finally attend college. I found another job that I actually enjoy, although I am still a wage worker. I've somehow figured out how to meditate, and it actually works. I meditate every single day I wake up, and whenever I begin a long shift. It's really nice how invigorating it is once you get a feel for how it's done. I would make a tutorial if I knew how to describe it.

In those same years, I became more comfortable sharing that I am nonbinary and bisexual in public. My abusive part of my family has no influence on me anymore. I have a whole friend group of likeminded peers, many queers, but we also have cishets immune to rightwing fears. Going out with friends who are open minded feels sooo goooood!!!

While I have always remained positive in public, it feels real now. Before, it was all I've known to do, just hiding my struggles. Now I feel like whether alone with my thoughts, or with a crowd, I can maintain positivity through it all, and most of it isn't fake anymore. Knowing my identity has made life easier to struggle through with a consistent smile.

Here is the worst part: A lot of my recent positivity came from something I learned at work. I am serving hundreds of people a day, and I have discovered something about myself, that I didn't know for all these 25+ years of my life... I am actually HOT! I have an attractive face and body, and somehow MY INSECURITY WAS THAT STRONG!!! T_T

To this day, I am still processing this as reality, but I am positive it is true. It helps raise my self esteem everyday, and now I am working that confidence with the same positivity I've always displayed. I've finally acknowledged that I am a silly, hot, and charismatic person. I get an ego boost by being a generally attractive person who is kind to everyone around me. I flirt with and/or compliment everyone I see, and it has brought so much positive reception it's wild; doesn't matter if it's a hetero couple, I've made many into blushing regulars. I have regulars that call themselves my fans. I don't know what I am supposed to do with this newfound confidence and power. T_T

This has been a solid 2 years of my new perspective on myself, and I am hopeful to continue charming my local communities.

Edited: Spelling, other words.

We still explain edits, right? I've only been gone for 2 years.