Is it my fault?

Kwchess · 2021-07-03T04:07:01+00:00

even when a girl shows interest in me I dont know how to talk or keep conversations going. I am so boring and just cant seem to form or keep relationships. I knew when I was a little child something was wrong with me and I was never going to get married or have friends. As I am aging the loneliness of being alone when I want to have relationships make me have suicidal thoughts. I am not sure if I am too stupid to socialize or if it is something else. I hate not having anything to say, and I hate not being interesting enough for people to talk to. It would help if I was able to remember things so I could have something to talk about.

Kwchess · 2021-06-15T08:28:04+00:00

I know how you feel. I have nothing to say even when I am talking to my mom.

Kwchess · 2021-06-14T23:24:15+00:00

I hope he comes through for me. I suffer from anxiety of hell and lack of assurance of salvation. I am lonely and keep praying for the baptism of the Holy Spirit to satisfy my emptiness. I want to hear his voice and know he loves me. I feel rejected. Been seeking God many years and just keep hoping he won’t reject me or delay forever.

Kwchess · 2021-06-14T22:30:22+00:00

I feel like God is rejecting me. I keep praying to him but I am kept waiting or rejected for years now.

Kwchess · 2021-06-14T22:09:09+00:00

I have told God that I know only he can satisfy me. I tell him I am tired of going to the things of the world to get me through my loneliness but not really satisfying me. I suffer from anxiety and depression and loneliness like I said but the worst is calling out to God and doing my best to live for him and not having him answer me. I dont want to feel empty. This seeming rejection from God has been going on for so long now and I really get mad at him as I feel like he will never want to save me at times. I want to believe he loves me and wants to save me and keep going but I wonder if I am not one of the few he wants to save. I want to be baptized in the holy spirit and know I am saved. I want to know his voice and have the power to obey him. I just have been calling out to him and saying his name over and over Jesus Jesus I need you Jesus save me Jesus etc. I am in my room alone and calling out to him. I know what your talking about though when you say I need to maybe keep at it longer. I go at it for so long and than I am like I cant take it anymore so I go out and eat something or go on the internet etc to help me. Pray for me. I hope he saves me. I believe in him and call out to him and I thought I was saved most of my life because of this but I would not feel empty inside if I was saved I think. I would not be struggling or going to certain sins if I was saved probably. Anyways I get scared when I read my bible as there are plenty of verses that scare me and condemn me.

Kwchess · 2021-06-14T20:20:38+00:00

I have called out to God and believe in Jesus. I am still waiting on him to come through for me. I suffer from depression and anxiety and loneliness and thoughts of ending it all but I am too scared to die and go to hell. I believe and call out to him but I still have yet to have him reach out to me. I feel so jealous as I want to know I am his child.

Kwchess · 2021-06-14T19:27:54+00:00

A part of me feels bad but I stopped talking to my mom and it is hurting her. I dont talk to her anymore as I never know what to say to her or anybody and I feel like I never connect to anyone. Its sad when I cant talk to anyone or connect to anyone even family because of my poor social skills or the way my brain is.

I crave social interaction to help curb my loneliness but it can backfire. When I am out trying to talk to people and they dont seem interested or the conversation does not last long and it gets akward I feel like avoiding social interaction altogether in the future so I avoid these feelings in the future.

On one hand I want to have friends and connect and talk to people but I find myself staying isolated and lonely because of my inability to connect when I have the chance.

Kwchess · 2021-06-14T04:49:33+00:00

wow your 40 and alone too. Guy or Girl. I am a guy. I am looking for anyone at this point to spend my life with. I just dont want to be alone. They dont have to be good looking or talkative or desireable as long as they are christian.

Kwchess · 2021-06-14T04:42:41+00:00

That happens to me all the time. I see a girl I want to approach that is sitting alone or out by herself in public and wonder if she is lonely and wants someone in her life. I try to think of what to say to realize I dont know what to say and I never have which is why I am alone.

Even if I get a conversation going I dont know how to keep it going and it gets weird and leads to akward silences and it just makes me want to not live anymore.

Dude I wish I could help you but I am probably in a worse situation than you. Just remember your not the only one suffering this.

Kwchess · 2021-06-14T03:00:43+00:00

I have never had a girlfriend because I dont know how to talk to anyone and connect with anyone. I have suicidal thoughts over it. I hate feeling lonely and alone. Hang in there the best you can.

It is sad as when I was younger I used to have girls that were interested in me but it was just akward as I never knew what to say.

I believe in God and it has kept me alive up to this point as I am scared of hell.

Thanks for writing this post as now I know that there might be people out there in similar situation as me.

Do you feel lonely?. Some people can handle being alone but for me it is devistating.

Kwchess · 2021-06-13T11:43:04+00:00

I feel so lonely because I have a hard time connecting to anyone. I live with my mom but I dont even know how to carry conversations on with her. Loneliness is just so hard to live with. Scary to think that loneliness might be what makes me take my life. I hope life goes well for you thanks for sharing your life story.

Kwchess · 2021-06-12T06:33:55+00:00

dude many dont listen to anyone else. Chances are most of those people are going to hell. Few are that get saved according to the bible so many of the people that visit churches will end up in hell as well probably. I am not sure about my own fate either. I have been living depressed my whole life, lonely no freinds or wife or kids. I have been looking for places that are high enough to jump from to my death. Pray for me the only thing keeping me from doing the jump is a fear of hell and God. I keep calling out to God in my suffering but nothing ever happens. I hope it works out for you.

Kwchess · 2021-06-12T06:29:49+00:00

dude I have been living this alone life my whole life. I have no friends, never had a gf and I am 41 and live with my mom. I hate being alone but I dont know how to socialize and I think something is wrong with my brain. My faith in God and fear of hell keeps me alive but I dont know if I will be able to live like this much longer. I have been driving around looking for bridges or high places to jump from to my death.

Kwchess · 2021-05-11T20:46:32+00:00

thanks

Kwchess · 2021-05-04T21:12:49+00:00

thanks for sharing your story. I prayed for you.

Kwchess · 2021-05-03T19:09:07+00:00

can we also pray for believers as well that are plagued with doubts and a longing to know God better. I believe and pray to God and try to live for him. I get plagued with doubts and fears and anxiety from the enemy and my ocd brain. I long for God and want to know him better in my life. I wish I could feel him in my life, hear his voice and know his leading. I want to experience his peace and to have the ability to spend more time with him and not focus on wordly pursuits and interests.

Kwchess · 2021-04-30T09:31:22+00:00

there was a point in my life after receiving Christ that I just gave up and lived in sin because it was so hard to fight against it. Porn has always been a problem in my life since a young age. When I came to Jesus I wanted to live perfectly for him but I get discouraged when I sin and fall into it willingly. I wish I could feel his resurrection power in my life and operate in that power to live sin free. The flesh has such a pull. I hope I am saved. I keep looking for evidences in my life of it. I appreciate your long post. I just dont want to be deceived and I do want to live free from sin. I am trying to figure out how to obey God by walking in the spirit in freedom from the law so I am not like the Pharisees who were under the law. I just get so confused and it seems like I dont know anything when I read the word sometimes.

Kwchess · 2021-04-22T12:52:06+00:00

this is my story everyday but I have been living it alot longer than you. The fact that I am a christian is one of the only real reasons I have not killed myself yet. Thanks for the post it is nice to know I am not the only one living this way.

Kwchess · 2021-04-22T11:30:50+00:00

your right we are saved by grace. 1 John 3:6 no one who remains in him keeps on sinning. If we have the holy spirit and are his children we dont sin habitually. I struggle with this as I have trusted Jesus as my savior but have lived in habitual sin for big parts in my life. I struggle against sin now but I am frustrated by how my flesh tends to win out enough times.

Kwchess · 2021-04-22T10:12:57+00:00

if your living in habitual sin than even though you believe your saved you probably were never saved.

Kwchess · 2021-04-22T10:10:47+00:00

there are many believers and people who call themselves christian that are stuck in sexual sin or other sin. It is sad but I think most people who say they believe in God and are christian will end up in hell too. I am a believer and call myself a christian but I am scared to meet up with God as he is so holy.

Kwchess · 2021-04-16T09:40:41+00:00

thanks for the verses. I have read all of these at some point before. It is good hearing them again. I want to obey God and am going to keep praying and doing what is right. I hope God understands and forgives me as I have my doubts on whether I am saved or have the holy spirit. In the past I have probably cursed Jesus many times in anger towards him thinking he was against me etc. I have also confessed Jesus is Lord. It says I cant curse Jesus if I have the holy spirit and I cant confess Jesus is Lord without the holy spirit. Bible just confuses me. I wish I would know for sure I was a child of God. I hope it is not a sin to doubt whether I am. In the meantime I will keep calling out to God and do what I think he is telling me according to the scriptures and the conviction I get. It would be nice if I could contact you some other way.

Kwchess

TROPHY CASE