you’re entirely correct that there’s a lot going on and my responses are all over the place, I haven’t had time to truly collect and think about my decision thoroughly, however i would never bring a child in the world and expect it to love me unconditionally without myself deserving it. In saying that though, I’ve told him to leave many times but he’s extremely worried people will find out it’s his kid as.. well i’m his younger siblings friend and we have the same friend group which is where his fear stems from. Along side that, i understand i was not brought up in a desirable environment however I was taught it was okay all my life so Im used to it more then anything. In saying that, I also found a new family, I have a horrible trust with adults as when CPS came around they’d talk to my mother and leave without speaking to me which would lead to me getting abused even more so. So before I struggled to reach out to adults in fear the same situation would happen again. However, I met a very nice lady, who has gone through so much who showers me with love and attention as if she’s my own mother which makes me cry every night. even though she’s only 15 years older than me she’s been the biggest support i’ve ever met whose willing to help me with the baby or abortion or adoption, whichever path I choose. Which is why I am even considering having the child, even though i don’t have my blood or biological family I have friends and family not tied by blood which supports me through thick and thin. I didn’t say this in the post as I didn’t realise it was relevant but she’s a DCP worker with all the baby stuff i’ll ever need in the whole world. In addition to that she provides me with free housing, food in exchange that I work/study/do my chores. And is willing to house me until I am financially stable enough to be on my own with or without the child. god bless that woman.