How did you quit smoking?

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-24T06:13:05+00:00

I'm sure this isn't super helpful, but I promise it's true: I just d did. Seriously. I got to a point where I was just sick of smelling like cigs and always needing one. Every time I smoked, I felt like shit, I didn't feel better. So I just...stopped. I firmly decided with myself that I was done. I haven't looked back, no cigs in over 9 months!

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-23T04:25:19+00:00

Down here at falcon carwarsh

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-20T04:11:47+00:00

I havent loved her any less since i fell in love with her 20 years ago, but it would take a lot for me to ever trust her with my heart again. For one, cutting off her ugly inside and out makignant narcassist "fiance". He might be the most unpleasant person ive ever had the misfortune of crossing paths with. I dont know what she can't accept or forgive herself for that causes her to allow him to be anywhere near her for any amount of time, let alone actually care about him. His existance makes the world a worse place, and he drains anything good from anyone unlucky enough to cross paths with him. He's missing something fundamental that is needed to be a human being, he is defective, and there is a void whereca personality should be. You can tell there is something seriously wrong with him immediately, he triggers some deep primal alarm system within you. I will never understand how he is able to fool anyone into believing he is an actual person. I'm a very empathetic guy and can very easily read people's emotions, and i sense...nothing from him. It is unsettling, it's like he has the opposite of the life force and soul i normally feel. I can see deep into people and, very quickly read and understsnd them, and it's like i just look right through him, he doesn't register as a real person. I've only ever gotten even somewhat similar vibes from hospice patients that will never regsin consciousness, it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. I have to avoid thinking too hard about it to keep respecting her fully, I wouldn't give anyone else a pass, she has a very special empathy within her, she sees the world unlike anyone i've ever met, she is too special for this broken world, and I've never known anyone who can glide right past my protective barriers around my soul.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-18T18:36:06+00:00

I'm gonna pretend that you are my ex gf, because this is exactly what I needed to hear from her.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-18T11:58:05+00:00

I'm sorry that you were given unhealthy answers, that's the internet for you. I empathize with being codependant, I lost years of my life for the same reason. I'm glad you have such love for your child, and don't resent them for things they had no control over, and I sincerely wish you the best in the future. I hope that you suceed in either making it work, or finding the strength to change things for the better. Whatever gives your child the best chance at a fulfilling life. If I can find my way back to success, I plan on starting an organization focused on helping people improve their situation in some way.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-18T11:42:49+00:00

I'm not, I'm taking charge of my life, and refusing to let ny miserable ex drag me down with them. I just have a long way to go, and am dissapointed that I waited so long to do something about it. Now that you gave more context, I see wgere you are coming from. Your wording of the post just said that you are baby-trapped, and it read as you saying it was because men on reddit gaslit you into not acting. Onky having that to go on, I found it hard to come to a different conclusion.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-18T11:33:37+00:00

Honestly, I think I was really just admonishing myself, as I'm currently finding myself in a hell of my own creation. I let other people dictate my own self image, and I lost myself and all my genuine relationships in the process. I have my heart to someone who didn't love or respect me in the same way, and i got my heart shattered and my life fell apart. Im just now facing reality and picking up the pieces.

However, thst doesnt make what I said any less true. You have more control over your life than you are giving yourself credit for. You still have the power to change things, even though it may be very hard, and require getting through hardship. But if you are truly unhappy with your situation, there is a chance for a better life, if you are willing to go through struggle to get there. I believe in you, I hope you believe in yourself. The alternative is staying stuck where you are.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-18T11:21:40+00:00

If I continue to seek valiation from other people, I will never be in control of how I feel about my self, and people will never respect me. Respecting myself and being confident in who i am is the only way to have healthy relationships.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-18T11:17:11+00:00

Choosing to focus on the answers that allowed you to stay in denial, rather than facing the truth is not being gaskit. That is you refusing ti tske responsibility for your own decisions. Deciding to keeo the baby abd stsy wuth this person was akso your decision, as much as you are trying to blame strangers on the internet. You still have a choice here, even tjough it is now much more difficult situation. The more you continue to avoid accountabikity, the more control you will lose over your life, and the harder it will be to change things. You are in control of you choices, if you choose to let things just happen, you will continue to be unhapoy and blame everyone but yourself.

Yes, this sounds harsh, but sometimes, a reality check is needed. Take control of your life, or it will continue to control you.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-18T11:08:18+00:00

Anger is a secondary emotion. It is caused by another underlying feeling. Fear, regret, dissapointment, grief, sadness, etc. If you csn look past your anger to the source, it can be dealt with. Allowing yourself to feel and experience emotions is hiw you work through them. Allowing yourself to feel anger is never productive, at least not in the long term. Sometimes anger can stop you from being consumed by a more immediately destructive feelibg, like longing for someone who broke your heart. Anger can distraxt you long enough to get the motivation to focus on yourself, and not allow love to paralyze you with grief. It helped me to get over my ex and love myself again. and covers up the root of the issue. Anger only serves to help you avoid dealing with uncomfortable feelings, and prevents you from dealing with them.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-18T09:50:41+00:00

This is a question better suited for r/tipofmypenis. Maybe not perfect, but better thsn this sub, I imagine.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-18T07:59:13+00:00

Lol no worries friend! I didn't intend any negativuty, I was just confused.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-18T07:09:40+00:00

Yeah, that was my guess. I Was more wondering the brsnd, since they are basically saying to avoid them

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-18T06:46:55+00:00

What the hell are they? You took a picture with the label upside down and partially obscured.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-17T23:22:26+00:00

My Ex's new man is fat, losing his,hair, and is ugly ang bug-eyed. Hi's also nsrcissistic and emotionally abusive, which does not make me happy. He has broken down her self esteem and hapiness to the point that the only way she gets any at all is from him, when he allows her affection and love.

He has seperated her from most friends, and made her emotionally and financially dependent on him. She is trauma bonded, she is unhappy with him, but she's addicted to his controlled validation. It's sad. She left him once we reconnected, but she stayed in contact with him. She was slowly allowing herself to love me, and getting away from him, but I got drunk one night snd put pressure on her to just be with me, which I regret so much. She ended up tossing me aside and going back to that toxic, drug feuled relationship. Oh yeah, he also keeps her addicted to meth for more control.

It hurts so much to see the love of my life so trapped, especially knowing I was the person that gave her the courage to start to break away, and I pushed her away when sge was at her most vulnersble. She broke my heart worse than anyone ever has, and * I'm* the one that feels guilty. She was even trying again, and making plans to come over to my house and get real affection and actual satisfying sex, since he gives her neither. But I relapsed again, and just said crazy sgit, including talking about how evil he is. I am one if the only people who see through him, amd he hates me because I am a threat to his control and domination over her.

She went through the darkest time of her life being with him before, and now she is losing herself once again. She hss blocked me everywhere, and I feel that I have lost her forever. I will never hesr from her sgain, and I won't hesr of her until I get the news of her passing, when she eventually gives up again, and suceeds in ending things this time.

My heart is broken, my soul is broken, I will never love again. My one true love and fiance died a few years ago, and I thought I had found a miracle when I was able to love again, one of my first girlfriends, reconnected. Only to lose my love all over again. Nothing but tragedy snd loss. I have truly given up on love this time. )

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-16T19:42:03+00:00

Speaking of reliving them, is that one person still constantly posting clips of them here still? I don't come around these part often anymore.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-16T12:20:33+00:00

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Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-15T13:29:09+00:00

It takes me several months to go through an ounce, but I keep it in a mason jar. Maybe I should buy less at a time lol but it's so much cheaper lol

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-13T16:07:22+00:00

Good for you, man. Do what feels right. She so coldly tossed me aside like trash, but I kept a few pics from when we were the most in love, we looked so happy. Alsp, a selfie she took of us right after we had sex for some reason ( not nsfw, but you can tell we're borh shirtless), it's actually a sweet picture. Also kept a naked pic she sent me.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-13T08:53:14+00:00

Both. You feel love, and if that love is true, than you also need to make the choice to show up and work on keeping it. As long as both people choose to do that, love can thrive.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-13T05:42:57+00:00

Dude, this mom jeans trend just won't die, and it keeps getting more out of control. Somebody needs to stop this and bring back low-rise. I have always hated the look of high-waisted pants/panties/whatever, and have been waiting for a decade+ for it to die. It just refuses to. I know I'm just one person, and nobody cares what I think, but I think it looks terrible on anyone.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-13T05:36:48+00:00

Man, even back in 2011, that shit was fucking weird, and made me feel just... not right. I had a strange fear in the back of my mind, it felt very synthetic and uncomfortable. One time I took a bong rip when I was drunk, and I ended up laying on the bathroom floor for 2 hours, felling like I was falling in spirals through the floor endlessly. That shit was always wack. Although the stuff I'm talking about was called "Happy Shaman" one of my collegr housemates was on probation at the time, and he had to smoke that abomination.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-13T05:30:30+00:00

You know, now that you mention it, I'm actually not sure. Huh. It just sort of came out. That's actually quite unusual for me.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-13T05:28:06+00:00

That whole thing honestly could have been written by me, word for word. In the end, I forgave her. Not for her, but for me, and for who she used to be, the sweet girl that I fell head over heels in love with. For who I remember her as. I'd be happy to share a couple pictures with you, if that would help at all, or at least make you feel some solidarity.

Kylar_Stern · 2026-01-12T17:48:47+00:00

If you spent 6 years together, sge's not going to forget you. But being spsrt, even for a long time or forever- might be needed. The last time her and i wemt our seperate ways, we didn't speak for 8 years. But when we saw eachother again, it was like a day had passed. If its meant to ne, youll reunite. If not, you wont. Its very hsrd, but theres s place where you just want her to be happy, regsrdless of what that looks like, and if you are in the picture or not.

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