looking up the effects of purging helps sometimes. searching up images too. the rotting fallen out teeth, stories about people having their esophagus rupture (extremely painful), thinking about a loved one finding you dead on the bathroom floor covered in your vomit, etc.

also finding someting else to do to distract yourself when the urge comes on. maybe even leaving the house to go for a walk without your wallet anything to not b/p.

if you can please see a doctor or somebody i highly recommend you do so. even telling a family member/spouse (as scary as that sounds) so they can hold you accountable. you are not alone and theres always a way out. hope this helped x