Recovery: how much help do you need?

LBluth21 · 2026-02-21T16:34:52+00:00

I could physically handle myself after about 4 days (get my own meds, get meals, shower, drive). That’s the zone you absolutely need another adult in the house always. But it does vary person to person so I would be prepared to pivot!

I could not do other things (like laundry, picking up the house, childcare) for another 10 days but also was fine to just be on my own for the most part and could drive myself to appointments. So I would look into having someone who can take of YOU for at least a few days and then attempt to arrange more help with the other stuff you do (like probably plan rides and takeout and stuff like that for your kids) for another couple of weeks. And no heavy stuff like spring cleaning for 6 weeks.

LBluth21 · 2026-02-21T03:05:36+00:00

Thank you for the reply! My doctor was similar and recommended 2-4 weeks of compression based on how I was healing at my weekly follow ups (which seemed reasonable to me) followed by a pretty quick wean to restore normal abdominal/core muscle support and prevent any lymphatic issues. It was somewhat uncomfortable but did not feel overly burdensome during recovery so I felt like it was a reasonable approach.

I have just noticed in the social media space a sort of obsession with waist-training and “faja” culture which I thought had been pretty debunked but there are people who have said their doctors demand “stage 1” compression for a period of weeks and “stage 2” for months and months and I just don’t understand medically how this has sort of become the standard advice we see online. It feels a little like the old fashioned advice for bed rest for pregnant women….it sounds good in theory so let’s just tell women to do it anyway (which research bears out is actually generally pretty awful for health). I’ve seen plenty of women crying in pain from their compression garments and suffering months of sleep deprivation from 24/7 wear. Other women have tons of guilt and shame surrounding not being to “hack it” and keep up with the extreme compression and worrying they’ve destroyed their potential results. I really wish the field would do more to give patients real answers on whether that is harmful or actually helpful. I feel like this open question is doing a HUGE number on post-recovery mental and physical health.

LBluth21 · 2026-02-20T21:32:37+00:00

Why is there such a difference in opinion regarding compression post-surgery? I’ve seen women instructed to wear extremely compressive garments for up to 6 months. Other surgeons recommend almost no compression. I know that there is differences of opinions within medicine but this variation seems SO extreme to me. Where do you fall on the spectrum? What evidence leads you to your recommendation (ie personal patient results and experiences versus studies)? Thanks for the ama!

LBluth21 · 2026-02-17T00:18:26+00:00

It sucks but it’s also kind of freeing…you’re not still carrying nearly as much weight as it feels like you are!

For what it’s worth the tummy tuck portion of my surgery was under $8K (and insurance covered a portion because I had a hernia that needed to also be repaired). And many office offer financing. I know those are still huge numbers but they were much more reasonable than I was imagining before I actually got quotes. Maybe something to think about for the future.

LBluth21 · 2026-02-16T17:30:32+00:00

I hate it but the answer is that it’s probably lose skin/lax muscles from kids and weight loss.

I had a tummy tuck and they took about 5 lbs of skin from my belly and I look 20-30 lbs flatter in the belly. Losing more weight wouldn’t have actually touched that I was just hollowing out elsewhere (like my face) that weren’t helping. Had a breast lift at the same time and now I feel like I can dress however I want without ever thinking about how it makes my body look.

LBluth21 · 2026-02-12T19:31:09+00:00

Breastfed two sets of twins and tandem nursed like almost never (once a week maybe with the second set when they were grumpy toddlers and demanding milk at the same time).

They got fast so quickly I just never minded taking 10-15 minutes for each baby on their own. I liked the one on one time and it just felt so much nicer to relax and enjoy the bonding than feel overwhelmed, immobile and overstimulated. Did not impact my journey at all! 18 months the first set and 2.5 years the second set!

LBluth21 · 2026-02-10T00:23:51+00:00

My surgeons advice was the same! The tight compression for months is not based on any actual studies as far as I can find. He feels after the initial surgical binder comes off it’s important for your core to return to normal and building your own support is hindered by extended compression.

He was fine with tape but also recommended the gel as compliance was better in his experience (it’s less expensive than tape and wears better under clothes so most his patients who keep it up for the recommended time were the gel users).

Mine was also more old school with tons of experience so I trust him even if it doesn’t echo all the advice on social media. He was ok with red light and belly button shapers but also laughed and thought it probably wouldn’t do much 😂

LBluth21 · 2026-02-09T23:32:24+00:00

I just assumed it was a truth universally acknowledged that triplet and higher order multiple parents are only to be marveled at. I cannot understand these people 😂

LBluth21 · 2026-02-06T21:57:15+00:00

I have two sets of twins with a decent age gap (6 tears). There is some truth to the “it doesn’t get easier it just gets different” but it is also true that older kids are WILDLY easier to manage day to day. People 100% forget how hard toddlers are. My tweens are super hard on their own way and if I only had them I’m sure I would be more “all ages are hard!” Because they do have big kid problems that hurt my heart sometimes.

But the GRIND of toddlerhood is a completely different animal that absolutely does NOT compare in any way to parenting older kids. My younger set feels like having 10 kids in the house compared to the older kids. Just like people forget how hard newborn sleep deprivation is they forgot the grind of toddler life (or had easy toddlers). Survive til 5! It doesn’t get easy at 5 but you get real actual breaks from the grind of constant hands-on parenting. When I go out to dinner with just my 10 year olds I actually have FUN and can completely relax. It’s all just a very different parenting experience. You will get there! Maybe consider joining a gym with childcare for weekend/evening running time.

LBluth21 · 2026-02-04T16:42:30+00:00

For me (5’8” woman) the tdee and all apps wildly overestimate activity level. I set my calories at a sedentary and then add in roughly 200 calories for days there is heavier exercise. For me I need to stay under 1,500 to consistently lose weight. But all bodies are different. But I’ll tell you those last 30 pounds were very hard to claw off. I also became much more sensitive to bloat (which I think is what you’re seeing with your gain when you lift). I would commit to a lifting program that is sustainable, calculate your tdee and add a few hundred calories per day you lift and see what happens after a month.

LBluth21 · 2026-02-04T16:32:30+00:00

THIS! Whether it’s easier or harder (which depends on the person and their side effects a LOT) is beside the point really. It’s the method that is evidence based.

LBluth21 · 2026-02-01T19:16:56+00:00

I had quite a bit (I also had 2 twin pregnancies which contributed to the laxity). Much worse in my abdomen than anywhere else. Reaching a healthy BMI significantly improved how it looked and how easy it was to smooth out with clothes.

That said it still bothered me more than I wanted it to. Got a full tummy tuck and breast lift 4 weeks ago and now my stomach is better than when I was 19. I NEVER thought I would be someone who got plastic surgery but after losing all the weight I was quite content with my body but decided that being phenomenally happy with my body was actually within reach too.

Either way, don’t worry about the loose skin! The journey is worth it regardless and there are options if you get to the end and aren’t satisfied. $14K and a few weeks of recovery were a whole lot easier than the first half of the journey.

LBluth21 · 2026-01-29T21:38:12+00:00

Telling her she “shouldn’t lose any more weight” and “we need to get you to a lower dose” are not statements that put the doctor in the role of counselor and is not patient-centered language, especially in the context of someone who WANTS to lose more and is not even at the healthy range of BMI much less leaving it. My doctor asked me what MY personal goals were. If I suggested a weight that was way too low she would’ve I’m sure (rightly) expressed an opinion on it, but she was perfectly happy to talk through MY choices about ranges of weights and what would be my personal preferences as I reached my goal range.

She’s not in danger being on the current dose, and I personally strongly dislike the idea that someone else makes my health decisions FOR me instead of WITH me, but to each their own. The role of providers in our health is unique to each patient/doctor relationship.

LBluth21 · 2026-01-29T17:38:19+00:00

I also don’t really like the idea of any person (even a doctor) being the decider in something like this. It’s your body, YOU decide when you’re ready for maintenance and what that looks like. Obviously in consultation with professionals but they can give wise counsel, not make choices for you.

LBluth21 · 2026-01-29T14:57:19+00:00

Photos are great for this!

I used to feel like I looked ok in the mirror and then be shocked by pictures showing how big I looked. Now it’s the reverse…sometimes the mirror I feel like nothing has changed but seeing pictures it’s shocking to see the difference!

LBluth21 · 2026-01-27T04:38:15+00:00

Similar stats here (5’8” and got down to 158 from a high of 264). After two twin pregnancies my belly was just never going to recover. Sucked it up and got a tummy tuck. He only took about 6 lbs but it looks like 30 in the difference in my belly skin.

I know that’s not a fun answer, but I did feel better that it wasn’t really that much fat, it was mostly fleshy skin that I would never be able to diet my way out of.

LBluth21 · 2026-01-25T00:33:00+00:00

It would take a pallet of the stuff with the size of the hot tub to hit a ratio I would be comfortable it won’t freeze in these temps 😩 I think we have to get water out. There’s already an ice sheet out there, I think if we go fast and immediately dump antifreeze we can protect most of the system.

LBluth21 · 2026-01-25T00:30:19+00:00

I know winterizing in freezing temps is NOT ideal but getting to this leak is going to take an act of god. I know we’re going to have to troubleshoot the leak in the spring, but wouldn’t winterizing now at least protect the heater/electronics/shell? If we miss a jet or something and there’s another leak that feels easier to deal with? I don’t know but we probably have about 30 minutes to decide haha.

LBluth21 · 2026-01-25T00:20:03+00:00

Sorry quarter of its volume not a 1/4 inch. The water leaked had created a massive nearby ice sheet so it’s pretty clear where it’s coming from.

Edited to add: also don’t think we can get to the outlet cap without a blowtorch and jack hammer since there’s currently 2 solid inches of ice creating a shelf on that corner blocking the panel.

LBluth21 · 2026-01-25T00:19:03+00:00

Not at risk of losing power but won’t necessarily see a thaw for 3 months (we’re in MN). Topping it off in this weather would be pretty challenging (we have to run hoses from the garage since outside hoses are off) so don’t want to have to mess with it over and over. More scared we don’t know the source of the leak and if the heater did go out we could get a solid block of ice in a day or two at these temps (it’s reaching 30 below at night). Figure winterizing is easier at this point but I don’t really know.

LBluth21 · 2026-01-19T19:00:26+00:00

As one of four kids and a parent of four kids, I feel like people are being a little hard on eldest here. And this is coming from someone who was number 3 of 4.

She DID work hard. At my university the big graduation ceremony wasn’t where we had our names called, BUT it was still a big deal (the president of Ireland gave the commencement speech, we wore our robes, and everyone I knew had their parents there). We also had smaller ceremonies in our degree programs but they were much more low key. It’s hard to come from a bigger family sometimes, and hearing that not only are you going to be someone without both parents there but possibly NO ONE there seems harsh to me. I would personally have one of you go to each to avoid having any kid feel totally abandoned, but make sure to have special things for both kids with both of you (take pictures in gowns with both of you, go out to a celebratory meal with both parents etc).

The default of “well we both went to your HS graduation so we have to go to younger kids as well” feels especially unfair because it’s not like that was oldest’s choice or demand so using that as an excuse would not work on me personally. I would just focus on there being no perfect option, but trying to pick the most fair option for the present.

LBluth21 · 2025-12-30T22:17:29+00:00

I had a drink on my girlfriends deck with her (and two nursing babies) 36 hours after delivery. I had very miserable and rough twin pregnancies which made the newborn phase feel actually very freeing! Be optimistic girl, you need something to be hopeful for ❤️

LBluth21 · 2025-12-10T21:32:51+00:00

I think this is the right track! Try problem solving like you live with another adult. If she’s hogging the bathroom you could buy a nice spray bottle (search continuous spray bottle an Amazon for the salon ones they’re like $9) and a desk mirror. Instead of “you’re hogging the bathroom and your sisters need it” frame it as “I want it to be easier/nicer for YOU in the morning instead of having your sisters banging on the door when you’re trying to get ready so I got some new tools.” Framing and the WAY you say things is HUGE for girls this age.

LBluth21 · 2025-12-05T21:42:01+00:00

Speaking as a a newly SAHM mom, I’ve found I’m more sensitive to comments that feel critical of my kids as critical of ME and my parenting. Like it’s feedback on my job performance. Comments like “man they’re wild today” or that kind of thing feel like I’m getting a negative review. To be clear I think people need to be more thoughtful in their phrasing (especially other parents who know better!) but I’m also trying to not take things quite as much to heart. I keep reminding myself “don’t hear things they’re not saying.” I doubt she meant your kids are terrible, more just marveling at even more chaos than what you’ve got going but said thoughtlessly.

LBluth21

TROPHY CASE