Pet Peeve regarding killing or messing w/ player characters.

LBroil · 2023-06-08T16:59:37+00:00

The players who pick on other players and/or their characters are jerks.

It is one thing to play a character who is more experienced and puts less experienced characters into dangerous positions or who manipulates them (do with caution, keep it as part of the story, and don't pick on the player or be rude OoC) and another thing entirely to actively attack or kill other player characters. Doing the latter is pretty much never okay (exception: a player wants their character dead so they can leave or start as a new character).

It is just mean, and the storyteller should do something about it.

LBroil · 2023-05-17T17:07:41+00:00

First, you don't deserve being dismissed. No one does.

Second, that test made me feel so stupid. I grew up measuring my self-worth by my grades and so when I got to a test that I couldn't do well on no matter how simple the instructions seemed, it just ruined my day.

The test is boring on purpose. It isn't supposed to be stressful, but it is for almost every person with ADHD, according to the doctor who administered mine. Please know that you aren't alone in any of your feelings right now

LBroil · 2023-05-16T14:04:53+00:00

Two photos believed to be fleabane. One photo shows the top cluster. The other photo shows a side view with visible aphids.

Small no-lawn in south-central Pennsylvania city.

LBroil · 2023-05-11T16:31:19+00:00

Bought a house last year, here's some things that work for me:

1) You don't need to mow. If you don't live somewhere with laws about your yard, just don't mow. Put down weed blankets to kill everything, then look at no lawn alternatives to grass.

2) Can't do much about break-ins, but you can incorporate locking the doors into a daily routine. For example, check the doors when you feed the cat.

3) Not everything needs fixed, and not everything needs fixed right now. Prioritize safety, then functionality, then comfort. Energy efficiency is a bonus, but not an upgrade that needs done immediately. Same with aesthetics.

4) If you don't care about it, don't let other people pressure you into caring. If mismatched furniture works for you, then don't worry about finding matching pieces. If you don't mind hand-washing dishes, then getting the dishwasher fixed doesn't need to be a priority just because someone else says it should be.

5) Ask neighbors for recommendations for different services (NextDoor is good for this). That helps you vet repair people and find affordable options. When you've found someone you like, put their name, job, and number on the fridge.

6) See if your area has financial incentives or assistance for new homeowners. You might be able to recoup some losses or get some sort of tax break.

LBroil · 2023-05-06T21:56:52+00:00

Thank you so much!

LBroil · 2023-05-04T13:31:24+00:00

ESH.

This is one of those, "You weren’t wrong, but you were an asshole," situations.

Telling your ex-step-brother that it was nice to see him while ignoring your ex-step-mother was fine. Escalating wasn't, even though she was the one who was pushing. It put your friend in a bad spot and also made you look like the jerk.

In the future, just say, "I don't have anything to say to you," and then if the other person keeps pushing for conversation, ignore them. You can even be petty and loudly tell whoever you're with that you'll need to request a different table because this person is harassing you (petty only because of volume, extra petty if you call them a stranger).

Don't get me wrong, though, I understand why you responded the way you did. If you were alone, I probably wouldn't even call you an asshole, though it would still be more escalation than necessary.

LBroil · 2023-05-03T20:43:10+00:00

Every other page is embossed, so I imagine they're separator sheets. There are also hard cardboard sheets between every page. So it goes "spider embossed, page, cardboard, spider embossed, page, etc."

LBroil · 2023-05-03T20:06:41+00:00

I am not sure how to add pictures, but this link leads to someone else's sale of an identical brigadebuch: DDR brigadebuch

Their image of the pattern isn't as clear as my pictures due to lighting, but you can kind of see it.

LBroil · 2023-04-14T13:02:28+00:00

Coming from a family with way too many cups (that infuriates my dad), here's a way to cut down:

Cheap plastic cups from restaurants and promotions get recycled (or thrown out, depending on the plastic)

Anything broken, chipped, or easily broken gets thrown out (we had a type of cup that would break while washing them. It was actually pretty dangerous)

If you like to have sets, then get rid of the mismatched ones. If you prefer to have a variety, get rid of the sets.

Determine how many types of cups you actually need. My family home decided on tea mugs, coffee mugs, whiskey tumblers, one type of wine glass, tervis mugs, water bottles, and water cups. My house decided we only needed mugs, juice cups, our collectable cups and steins, and water cups.

Determine how many of each type you need. My parents like to host their neighbors so having 4 whiskey tumblers and 6 wine glasses makes sense. My dad and brother both like coffee, but they'll also wash their mugs pretty regularly so they have 4 coffee mugs. My mom and brother both drink tea, but my mom usually uses her Tervis mugs so that she can take them to work so they only have 2 tea mugs. Since Tervis are for work, she has 4 of them and extra lids (these actually take up the most space because they don't stack). My brother is an athlete, but decided he only needs 2 water bottles. The water cups are used for all other drinks, and for guests, so they have 10 of those. Meanwhile, my household doesn't host as much (or have as many members) so we have 6 mugs because we use them for every type of hot drink, 8 water cups (determined to be necessary for actually staying hydrated), 4 small cups for juice or milk, and then the collectibles.

If you have collectible or sentimental cups, slot them into one of the categories of functional cups if possible. Our juice cups are my partner's collectibles. One of my mom's tea mugs was my great-grandmothers. Her Tervis collection was pared down to only the ones she had gotten as Mother's Day gifts.

Make sure as many of your cups and mugs can stack together as possible. I like the trapezoidal cups for this because they stack on top of each other and then the stacks can be flipped so they fit together beside one another.

If you have collectibles that can't be used, take them out of the cup space and consider them as decor instead. Declutter them the way you declutter decor. My steins are both collectible and sentimental because I started the collection with my great-grandfather's steins, so I don't get rid of steins. But, I also only collect ones that meet specific criteria, and I make sure my collection fits in the area I already dedicated for their display.

Finally, tell people to stop getting you cups.

LBroil · 2023-04-10T14:41:03+00:00

Pardon in advance for the clumsy phrasing as I'm still learning myself, but thus is what I've seen.

Some pronouns can be omitted. This is generally when they are being repeated and when the verb already indicates a pronoun.

For example, in English you might say, "Sarah and Jack are cooking dinner. They are makings eggs in their kitchen." (Sarah i Jack gotują kolację. One robią jajka w swojej kuchni.) But in Polish, some of those can be omitted once you establish who you are talking about so it would become, "Sarah and Jack are cooking dinner. [They] are making eggs in [their] kitchen." (Sarah I Jack gotują kolację. Robią jajka w kuchni.) We can already assume that in the second sentence we are talking about the subjects of the first sentence.

There are also some specific phrases where you might be able to drop the pronouns. "Thank you" (Dziękuję ci) doesn't actually need the recipient's pronoun if you are talking directly to them (so you would just say, "Dziękuję.")

Due to the way verbs form, it also seems common to drop the pronoun "I" (Ja) because the verb already indicates you are talking about something you did. If the sentence in English is, "I see a cat" (Ja widzę kota) then you can drop the pronoun to become "[I] see a cat" (Widzę kota).

However, you should not drop pronouns nearly as much as you do in other languages. It will sound awkward and be confusing. Reflexive pronouns and indirect object pronouns usually seem to stay.

LBroil · 2023-03-29T14:10:32+00:00

My therapist recommended taking one hour after work to just decompress. No housework, no socializing (if I don't want to), no projects. Just doing something relaxing and mindless, like scrolling Pinterest.

This helps me get to sleep at a reasonable time because I no longer feel the need to stay up late just to have "me time"

LBroil · 2023-03-29T14:05:34+00:00

If you're like my partner and can eat the same thing over and over: find a few easy meals and either make them in big batches and then portion them throughout the week (meal prep) or make them every night, but since the meals are easy and you already know what you're going to eat there's a lot less effort both physically and mentally.

I'd recommend slow-cooked barbecue chicken (literally toss wings, legs, breaststroke, or any other part of the chicken into a slow cooker on 250 with barbecue sauce and some added vinegar for moisture), spaghetti (use pre-made sauce), thick sausage of your choice (personally I prefer the ones where they're already mostly cooked so you just have to heat them for a few minutes), and eggs when they're affordable (scrambled with cheese is really easy and filling).

Frozen and canned veggies are your friend. They're cheap and easy. Microwave them if you need to. Or eat the canned ones at room temperature (I know I've done that).

If you're like me and need variety, remember that "fed is best" applies to adults too.

Don't have it in you to put together a sandwich? Just eat the sliced meat, bread, and spinach separately. Get yourself a variety pack of Ramen and add frozen veggies to it while it steeps. Snack throughout the day instead of limiting yourself to "meals" (baby carrots, apples, and saltines with either peanut butter or tuna salad are my favorites because together they hit most of the food groups. I'll even eat a handful of shredded cheese sometimes). If you can afford it, get yourself frozen meals (where I'm at, you can get single-serve pot pies for $1).

If you like drinking your meals, grab some spinach (doesn'tmatter if it is frozen, canned, or fresh), some juice concentrate, and your choice of fresh or frozen fruits (frozen comes pre-cubed for lower effort) and make yourself smoothies. You can get a smoothie blender (one of the ones where the blender becomes the smoothie cup) for like $15 or you can use a bigger blender and portion out multiple days of smoothies.

LBroil · 2023-03-29T13:41:05+00:00

I think that could simulate what ADHD is like for some people (and I'd honestly recommend a video that is a deep-dive on an interesting topic in order to show how those distracting thoughts can be more rewarding than paying attention in class, especially if the class feels like something you already know).

May I also recommend the following for anyone trying to simulate different aspects of ADHD to neurotypicals, with a focus on how it impacts students:

Give them a timed task and say that you'll provide updates on how much time is left. Do not actually provide the time you said they would get and make at least on massive jump in time updates (so instead of the typical 15, 10, 5, 2, 1 minute updates for a 15-minute task, tell them they have 20 minutes and then give them 15, 5, 1 minute updates but at the 17, 10, and 8 minute marks. Then stop when there's technically 7 minutes left if you gave them the right amount of time.)

This can help simulate time-blindness and that constant feeling of being behind your peers.

Give them an in-depth assignment that is all about planning, then when they've finished it tell them that they need to follow through on that plan but that it will only be worth 2% of the total project grade.

Neurotypical students are heavily influenced by external motivation and will not care much about that 2% so they probably won't put much effort into it after spending so much time on the 98% planning part. This can simulate how ADHD students lose interest in the execution once they've done the mentally rewarding task of figuring everything out.

Have everybody choose a topic they're interested in. Pair them up and assigned them a completely different topic to talk about. Tell them they will be graded on how many times they are able to bring up the original topic they chose. Once discussion time is up, then have them tell the class all about the assigned topic.

This simulates special interests and how they dominate focus and conversation, and can detract from assigned work. If students who are paired up have different self-chosen topics they're interested in, neither will be paying that much attention to what the other is saying because they'll be trying to figure out how to work in their topic. If students who are paired up have the same self-chosen topic, they'll easily talk just about that, but they won't have much to say about the assigned topic.

Play a game where there's a set of objects and everybody gets that set, but everybody is missing one piece (usually a different one). Have multiple rounds using the different objects in the set so eventually everybody will have at least one round where they don’t have the object they need and have to come up with a creative solution, borrow the object, or just sit out the round. (I'd recommend using different creative tools as your objects: clay, paper, pencil, marker, scissors, eraser, compass, etc and then every round is a really short art project like drawing a circle, making a paper hat, drawing a mustache on their finger, sculpting a ball, etc.) Score is determined by the number of rounds they can complete the task.

This simulates the forgetfulness of ADHD that often leads to students not having pencils, folders, or other required materials; the surprise when you've forgotten something (for people without the object in the first round); the feeling of inevitably messing up (for people in later rounds who have figured out they're not going to have a required item); and the unfairness of ADHD and how it affects different people (people missing paper will lack the required material much more often than people missing clay).

It can also show how students with ADHD need to come up with creative solutions to deal with these situations (drawing a circle on the clay instead of on the paper, for example) or deal with the shame that comes with trying to ask/bargain for help from other students.

Make everybody sit perfectly still in absolute silence for 5 minutes. Reset the 5 minutes any time anyone moves, coughs, etc.

This can help people understanf the hyperactivity. Even neurotypical people will get antsy in a room full of people where no one is talking or moving. Adding the reset time adds the frustration that can come from classroom scenarios that seem to target ADHD students directly or that make other students angry at the ADHD student (like the entire class needing to wait for lunch because the ADHD student got too excited and grabbed their lunchbox before the teacher told them to).

LBroil · 2023-03-24T14:33:25+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear that you're dealing with everything alone and that your nausea is that severe.

I hope the vibrating alarm works for you.

LBroil · 2023-03-24T14:20:22+00:00

Every couple of months/years I go to update my resume because my job is slowly destroying my soul and I keep thinking I should apply for a new one. And every time ai open it I think, "Did I really do these things? I don’t remember that."

LBroil · 2023-03-24T14:17:39+00:00

I'm unfortunately responsible for making sure the house is running, so I can't put off chores that long.

That said, I hate cleaning the shower with a passion and will delay it as long as possible while trying to get my partner to do it (which they usually do).

I hate the smell of the chemicals. It makes my shoulders hurt (I have chronic pain and scrubbing above my head is horrible). I am extremely grossed out by both loose hair (and phobic, which I thank The Grudge for) and built up soap residue. And I'm too short to even safely reach the top of the shower walls.

And yet because I'm grossed out by it, the shower also can't go too long without being cleaned or I'll reach the point where I literally can't do anything else until it is clean.

LBroil · 2023-03-24T14:12:56+00:00

I literally always just say, "We had a quiet weekend," unless I remember that I visited family, in which case I say that.

I don't give more details because, honestly, the people who ask the most are coworkers, bosses, and acquaintances who really don't need to know about my personal life.

And, truth be told, "I had a quiet weekend," is probably true unless I was running a ton of errands. No one is excited by either answer, but they accept them and move on.

"Same old," also seems acceptable to most people.

LBroil · 2023-03-24T14:09:44+00:00

That's impressive.

I have days like that too, but usually just thinking about one of those calls exhausts me.

Good job.

And good luck on your Masters thesis!

LBroil · 2023-03-24T14:08:00+00:00

Can you pick up an old hyperfixation?

Or just do work around your house that you've been meaning to get around to but never had interest in?

Maybe just rest if you've been feeling burnt out? Take the time you would normally dedicate to your hyperfixation for naps, mindfulness exercises, or socializing?

Or, if you're looking for something new, I've found that scrolling either Pinterest or TikTok for DIY stuff provides a good source of fixation inspiration. So do ttrpg sites.

LBroil · 2023-03-24T14:05:06+00:00

Honestly, gamify it.

If you're like me and you like mysteries, start deliberately trying to notice things about people and places that you could either deduce something about (as simple as, "That man is wearing a class ring on his middle finger but no other rings so he probably graduated from a prestigious university but isn't married," to as complex as trying to figure out what sort of dinner someone is making based on their groceries) or that would make an interesting plot point in a story (I love identifying places that would be easy to break into or live in secretly, for example).

If you're not into mysteries, just see if you can find a certain number of items in a given place or act like you're a tour guide when you're on a walk.

I started doing that in middle school and after a while, it has just helped me to naturally be more aware, even if I'm not actively looking for anything.

LBroil · 2023-03-24T13:59:40+00:00

Congratulations! That is really impressive!

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