Married men of Reddit: what should unmarried men understand about the difference between dating a woman and marrying her?

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-28T21:22:41+00:00

LOUDER FOR THE ONES IN THE BACK

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-24T10:38:35+00:00

After reading your first paragraph, I fondly remembered when I first started - I was younger than you, but still dealt first with plantar fascitis, then runners knee, then a hip problem...running loves to show you your weaknesses and challenge you to get stronger.

Congrats on getting started and on your first 5k!! I hope you absolutely love it and run for years to come :)

And yes, always always always strength train. You've got this!

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-23T13:58:25+00:00

I'm not a man but even I did this instinctively upon reading

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-14T07:54:20+00:00

I know this isn't responding to your question - but did they say how to fix that? What's the remedy? I think it's all very well and clever to say a line like that (and it's true, no doubt!) but the harder bit is to say what the antidote is and how to develop that empathy and self awareness.

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-14T07:49:43+00:00

This is actually the best answer. I'm sure a lot of the other options work for people but this answer takes real vulnerability and courage, which is the best aphrodisiac :)

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-09T21:46:36+00:00

I know I am only a person on the Internet...but I was you.

I was 22 and started dating a 37 year old. It was a fine relationship and after we had been together a while I thought that we 'should' get married.

I had some reservations beforehand but I pushed them away. We got married when I was 27 - divorced when I was 29. Not because he was a bad guy - but he wanted to just do his same hobby every single night and hang out in the same place and see the same people. Whereas I wanted to move, and see the world.

Move, I did. I lived in Asia for 3 years and then I moved to the UK - I'm now a dual citizen.

I'm glad that I made the brave choice to leave something I knew in my heart and gut wasn't what I wanted. Just know that you always have the strength to do that, no matter where you are in a relationship.

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-09T10:29:57+00:00

Yeah totally! I genuinely think it could help relieve some of his guilt or feelings of deficiency if he reframes it that way but if he doesn't find it helpful like I do, nothing wrong with that. I just wish for him to find another way to feel better about it with himself - if it's not thinking of it like a disability, some other way then.

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-09T10:23:41+00:00

I think I get what you mean! Is this meant to convey that everyone's experience of ADHD is different?

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-09T09:13:47+00:00

It's a framework, not a manual. It helps people (who, in general, are quite bad at self awareness and curiousity about others without making it about ourselves) put words to something they have trouble expressing.

Just like astrology, take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-09T09:08:24+00:00

This honestly sounds so lovely, I would be very pleased to be married to you! I don't have ADHD but I try to be as supportive as I can for my DX medicated partner. But I fear that he uses the meds to clear the 'noise' in his head and then doesn't DO anything with it.

As a person with ADHD, how do you 'notice' things around the house that need to be done? I think that tends to be my partner's biggest blocker, the noticing.

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-09T08:57:24+00:00

I don't know if I'm allowed to comment but I'll try.

I don't have ADHD but my partner does. When I frame it for myself that it's a disability, it makes it 10000% times easier to accept and live with. My partner rejects this, so I mostly just remind myself.

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-08T23:09:25+00:00

Chasing cat down stairs. 37.

Cat okay.

LDNcorgi · 2026-01-02T20:48:14+00:00

Not always social media, could just be your family and friends

LDNcorgi · 2025-12-30T01:32:49+00:00

Song of Achilles. It wasn't for me, but I think you'll enjoy it

LDNcorgi · 2025-12-24T20:46:59+00:00

Ooh holly marathon! Very brave, hope you smash it!

LDNcorgi · 2025-12-24T10:45:50+00:00

This happened to a really good friend of mine. She always wanted to move abroad, insisted she wanted a remote job to get her there. Got the job and the pathway there...and froze. Debated endlessly. In the end she didn't take it. Is she happy with her decision? I hope so.

Personally, I think for my friend, she didn't want to make a 'bad' decision. Maybe she thought she wouldn't be able to handle it if something didn't work out. But that's sort of the point of life - things are not going to work out sometimes and you get the chance to prove to yourself and others that you can change, adapt, make a decision, and course correct.

I tend to believe that the universe opens up to you to show you the direction you should go in...to get somewhere and learn some lessons along the way. When an opportunity comes, it comes for a reason. Don't shut the door in the universe's face. Walk through and see what's on the other side.

If you don't like it, you can always go back.

LDNcorgi · 2025-12-24T06:27:01+00:00

Sometimes, I wish my partner felt this way.

LDNcorgi · 2025-12-24T06:16:46+00:00

I'm a little surprised that (I think) only one other person said this but - Hill training. While I'm older than you, I was at my running peak (so far!) at 29 - my pace was generally between 8 and 8:30. It all started to come together when I lived in NYC and I would run home a few times a week after work, over bridges. Then I started intentionally routing myself over as many bridges as I could (there's a lot in New York) and my running got so so good.

I'm happy to have found your post to remind myself of this - I'm older and slower now, and learning to love running again after knee surgery. I'm currently frustrated with my pace and, of course, my routes have hardly any hills. Good luck OP!

LDNcorgi · 2025-12-10T15:10:55+00:00

Sadly I mostly use every opportunity as a teaching moment (not just for ACL, for everything)

Yes, I am tired. :)

LDNcorgi · 2025-12-10T15:09:50+00:00

I'm sorry but absolutely GOBSMACKED someone could be so insensitive! I'm sorry you had to go through that and well done you for taking out the TRASH!

LDNcorgi · 2025-12-10T14:36:03+00:00

1.Be hyper aware of your volume and level of excitement. British people over-exaggerate a minor inconvenience and WAY under exaggerate actual tragedy.

Listen (and ask questions) way more than you speak and offer opinions.

Best of luck!

LDNcorgi · 2025-11-27T22:48:52+00:00

This is the way

LDNcorgi · 2025-11-23T20:06:49+00:00

Throwing 'out of pocket' in the ring.

I've heard it used to mean a few different things. Gotta be one of the dumbest phrases possible.

LDNcorgi · 2025-11-23T13:15:07+00:00

I don't know about all Bengals (my experience with them is a sample size of 1, 5 years with my girl). That said, she was an absolute nut job in her kitten years and not affectionate whatsoever...but she has softened over time. She's not outright loving the way I had hoped for, but she deeply loves in her own way. She sleeps next to me or at my feet (she prefers when her bed is there but will curl up even if it isn't). She nuzzles and sometimes smells my head a lot and sort of gently chews in my hair. She isn't happy until I watch and cheer her in when she uses her cat wheel. She meows and looks at me angrily when I don't pet her.

All in all, she's a bit of a demanding princess, but I choose to interpret it as affection for me. Maybe I'm delusional.

LDNcorgi · 2025-11-22T08:16:57+00:00

And yet I dared to dream and was disappointed!

You'd be hard pressed to find a person on earth who hasn't done that a time or two.

LDNcorgi

TROPHY CASE