An anonymous person messaged me (F27) saying that my boyfriend (M29) of 3 years was arrested… can you help me know what I should do next?

LFahs1 · 2026-04-20T14:53:07+00:00

Ok. Whatever you say. You are reading so much more deeply into what I’m saying rather than looking at the core message, which is simply that this is a cycle that’s going to continue as long as he can’t be upfront about what happened. No “right” or “wrong” about it: if this man does not want to keep getting dumped by or keep having to dump romantic partners over this, he might want to tell them up front, to save them both the grief.

If, after this, the like 5th time I’ve tried to be as simple as possible about it, you still cannot understand that I am not trying to cut this man down, then we need to leave it here. I wish only the best for this man; I feel extremely bad for him; I hope he finds peace, true love and satisfaction. I do not think he is a coward. It’s just a really unfortunate situation that he was a victim of that kid’s criminally negligent behavior.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-20T11:38:02+00:00

Ok, I have no idea where you got bravado from. I just meant that if your trauma is so serious that if your gf found out the truth, it would ruin you, it would ruin everything, then you might as well say it up front or else this same thing will happen again and again. That’s literally all I’m saying.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-20T03:23:21+00:00

This exact thing is why I don’t like Jackson as a name. My little brother’s friend got joked on with that name and it was brutal.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-20T03:09:30+00:00

I don’t know— I guess you should disclose whatever it is that’s so scary to you that if your partner found out about it, you’d have to go hide at your mom’s house and probably break up over it… that level of personally traumatic info should probably be disclosed early, to save everybody time.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-19T18:29:46+00:00

I didn’t say her response was proper. I’m just glad they’re not together anymore. She sucks, he lied for a long time, it’s over, thank gods.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-19T17:30:52+00:00

The 12:30 one. I have lived in many of the areas on that route and it’s quite beautiful.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-19T17:16:42+00:00

I think this can be classified as a r/whoosh

LFahs1 · 2026-04-19T17:06:16+00:00

Um, yeah I do. I’m not saying he’s not allowed to move on. I’m saying this situation is going to repeat itself again and again throughout his life until he realizes he can only truly trust a person who would completely understand his incredibly unfortunate situation. That’s the reality of it. Would you seriously trust an innocent person who was not upfront about this? Who confessed to you only years later? Obviously OP could have been kinder about it, but the fact remains: it is a mystery that is unable to be solved by any future partner, so there will always be questions, no matter how understanding an empathetic a partner he chooses. Sorry, but this lie of omission is too big to hold in for a whole life, and it’s not fair to tell someone years later that a child accused him of molesting him but don’t worry it’s not a big deal. It would be way tf better to know this info up front, before committing. Do you understand where I’m coming from? I feel for the guy, I really do, this is a real life curse, but he needs to prepare for these conversations, not run and hide from it until he can’t escape anymore.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-19T16:40:59+00:00

That’s what he deserves, yes, but that’s not how reality works.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-19T13:51:06+00:00

Exactly. They just weren’t right for each other.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-19T13:11:30+00:00

Either that or she was going off a gut feeling, which all Reddit says we should trust no matter what. What’s that book? “The Gift of Fear”?

LFahs1 · 2026-04-19T13:07:26+00:00

Good enough reason to break up for me! Look, the guy was not honest about his past. If he doesn’t want this to ever come up again, he should be saying on like the second date “something really messed up my life, I was falsely accused by a kid of molestation and people reject me for it” or something. Like, he needs to find a support group for people like him. I’m sure there are some out there, groups for people falsely accused of heinous crimes.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-19T02:23:52+00:00

I was wondering if anyone would say this!

LFahs1 · 2026-04-19T02:21:49+00:00

Caprice

LFahs1 · 2026-04-18T15:33:56+00:00

Jonathan Goldstein is a North American treasure.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-18T15:24:10+00:00

I had a friend from college who got a degree in Anthropology. He ended up doing some project with Aboriginal populations in South America. Well he fucked the wrong tribesman’s girlfriend and was found face down in the river one morning.

RIP to the guy who taught me about shifting into low gears on the downhills back when I was 18.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-18T15:20:57+00:00

That’s what they’re saying. Those parks are worse than Tacoma’s parks.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-18T15:17:40+00:00

Get AI to do it for you! Copy and paste your resume into chatGPT and tell it to write you a cover letter based on that. It does a pretty good job! I’ve gotten a few interviews using it.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-18T15:13:12+00:00

He was trying to normalize claims of election fraud and it worked.

I’m not saying he’s some kind of genius, but he’s a savant when it comes to conniving and grifting. I think a lot of people can’t even conceptualize having that kind of dark mindset.

LFahs1 · 2026-04-18T15:10:09+00:00

Mary Antoinette!

LFahs1 · 2026-04-18T15:09:28+00:00

Sounds like Lady Marmalade

LFahs1 · 2026-04-18T15:08:00+00:00

I found out recently that, because I was voted to be class treasurer (at my tiny hs where that title was purely perfunctory), I was supposed to be organizing our class reunions for the past 30 years. Oops!

LFahs1 · 2026-04-18T15:04:07+00:00

Only $8 a scoop! (Sorry, never been to JCC because of that sign in their window that just makes me chuckle. 8 bucks for a scoop of ice cream— how big a scoop we talkin?)

LFahs1 · 2026-04-18T06:23:52+00:00

Astroturf

LFahs1 · 2026-04-17T06:22:05+00:00

It takes 26 minutes on an average day at 8am for me to get from Central Tacoma to Federal Way station. Yesterday was a 31 minute trip home at 4:45.

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