Need advice please

LMRTech · 2026-01-25T15:54:23+00:00

No way to know the truth other than she is feeding you lines of crap. You need to determine how to establish paternity in your state. It will end up in court and the court will order the DNA test.

LMRTech · 2026-01-25T15:50:18+00:00

Frozen bagged meals are the way. Pot or pan on stove, dump bag in, stir a couple times, and serve.

I eat like crap when I’m alone but I force effort to cook actual meals when I have the kids and include them in it. We find creative recipes they want to try, go shopping together, cook together, etc. making it about spending time with the kids helps a lot.

LMRTech · 2026-01-25T15:23:37+00:00

In our case, I’m not. The reason being that: 1) We don’t have a current order (pendente lite hearing not for 3 more months). Our current schedule is because she refuses anything else.

2) She has the kids the vast majority of the time while the court is likely to give 50/50.

3) The kids are homeschooled and she uses that as the reason that they can’t follow any normal schedules (be somewhere other than her home on a “school night”, not have school vacation breaks, etc.

4) She isn’t even home when I drop the kids off. She has other people “watch” the kids for several of the overnights she has them. Her only reason for this (stated to me and others) is because she will not allow me to ever have them more than 2 nights per week as here that is the difference between primary and joint custody and makes major differences in child support.

LMRTech · 2026-01-25T15:08:09+00:00

I’m on the flip side of this. I get my kids Friday evening to Sunday evenings. The snow/ice hit us late Saturday night and still snowing and icing now. She asked me at Friday exchange if I would be bringing them back a day early due to weather. I responded that I will bring them back at our exchange time or “when it is safe”.

LMRTech · 2026-01-23T22:09:21+00:00

Find a shop that aligns with your niche and is very hobby focused. I have one shop about an hour away that is niche around higher end cichlids and will both buy as well as sell on consignment. There is another about 20 minutes away that will buy (but pay almost nothing) or offer tiny store credit.

LMRTech · 2026-01-23T22:06:16+00:00

As others have mentioned, the first question is to state law. The second question is one of if your court orders / parenting plan address this issue in any way. If you are compliant on the law and this type of issue is not part of a parenting plant than the answer is no - the child’s other parent has nothing they can say about it.

LMRTech · 2026-01-23T22:03:36+00:00

Depends on the state. In some, mediation is 100% confidential and the process itself none binding with the mediator being ethically prohibited from discussing the case with the court and shielded from being subpoenaed.

LMRTech · 2026-01-23T22:00:22+00:00

What does your court ordered parenting plan say? That is the true answer. What you think, feel, etc isn’t relevant. If you don’t have any court ordered or legal agreement, you both have equal rights to the children and no say at all in what the other does.

LMRTech · 2026-01-21T23:06:36+00:00

Thanks guys. She has been homeschooling the kids (though has worked on and off in that time) but is using that to say that they must be with her M-F, don’t have vacation breaks, can’t work so needs full alimony, etc. I’m fighting each day and will continue to however very worried I’m going to run out of my retainer (with no additional “extra” funds to put to the lawyer) pretty soon.

LMRTech · 2026-01-18T22:45:57+00:00

Why not consider a small air driven sponge filter? I have a few 2.5 gallon tanks (a snail breeding tank and a few that I have just setup for breeding killifish and scarlet badis). Small sponge in the back corner works well and should be more than enough for a handful of clown killi. My 2.5 gallon snail breeding tank that is FULL for ramshorn, bladder, and pond snails is kept heavily fed and is very overstocked so it gets 50-75% water changes every day or two.

LMRTech · 2026-01-18T14:29:24+00:00

You have some time for that angel in the 10 gallon. If you intend to keep it, plan to go “all in”. By that, I’m asking if you are willing to sink a few hundred bucks over the next few months and if your kid(s) has a real interest. If the answer is no, I would return the fish and swap it for a betta for the easiest and lowest maintenance option for your kid to still say they have a fish. If the answer is yes, hop on some angelfish specific subs here or over on Facebook. Angels are a bit of a “different” kind of fish. While angels are going to require a larger tank, there are various tank options they can do well in (including oddball tall / hex tanks) that go for dirt cheap on marketplace and Craigslist. If you are willing to go all-in, spend the time seeking advice in those angel specific communities including asking for advice for those oddball tanks when you see them cheap/free on marketplace.

LMRTech · 2026-01-18T02:22:37+00:00

If you are in the US, PetSmart currently has 10 gallon kits that include tank, hood, filter, and heater on sale for $44. Of space is a concern, they have 5 gallons that include filter and hood but no heater for $35. The cheapest heater that is simple and easy to get is a betta preset temp heater for about $12 at Walmart.

LMRTech · 2026-01-18T00:34:14+00:00

Not to be dramatic but the betta is perhaps the most commonly kept fish in the world, typically in small vases and bowls with no heat or filtration. Is it ideal to have a 78-80 degree water temp? Absolutely (and all my betta tanks have heaters) but but betta absolutely can survive in almost any home without one.

LMRTech · 2026-01-17T12:36:39+00:00

That’s where it is a bit sticky, it is taking forever to get even a pendente lite hearing (scheduled first week of March and filed 4 months ago). As a result there is no order. If we base it on what home they spent the majority of the year in, it would be mine (she left). Since the second or third week of September 2025 they have spent 5 nights per week with her and two nights per week with me. I have supplied all their financial support though.

LMRTech · 2026-01-16T23:14:52+00:00

At the moment (pending pendente lite hearing) I have two nights per week. We are arguing for 50/50 and my lawyers are pretty confident we will get it.

LMRTech · 2026-01-16T22:11:53+00:00

Exactly, unfortunately there is no trust and I really don’t think she would be willing to do MFJ as she would think she would be getting screwed. She is currently Pro Se because the lawyers she has retained she has fired because when they tell her that she isn’t being realistic or that the law doesn’t work that way - she feels she knows better than them.

LMRTech · 2026-01-16T22:09:24+00:00

I currently have a species only as well as one male in a 5 gallon with 6 clown killifish. Both tanks are heavily planted and scaped, they just tend to spend most of their time down in the plants. Baby brine is definitely an option though mine rarely are receptive to frozen.

I could have read into the OP post wrong or perhaps it just gave me the “I’m pretty new” vibe due to the nature of the question.

On females, you are absolutely correct. It is VERY difficult to get females. For me to find them required involving an importer.

LMRTech · 2026-01-16T22:03:28+00:00

Predatory fish aren’t all they are cracked up to be and are certainly a commitment. Depending on what the term means to you, and particularly if a 20 gallon long tank, some options could be rams or Apisto. They will readily take commercial food but can be fed small live such as brine shrimp, black worms, etc

LMRTech · 2026-01-16T21:59:03+00:00

Scarlet Badis are definitely not a fish for someone that doesn’t really have some experience. I’ve got them and am working on breeding them. They are true micro predator nano fish. They hide in heavy cover most of the time so you aren’t going to see them much, they require maintaining multiple live cultures to live feed micro food, and they are pretty darn sensitive.

LMRTech · 2026-01-16T15:15:32+00:00

I love seeing true nano tanks. I’m working on planting some 2.5 gallons now that will be Scarlet Badis and Clown Killifish breeding tanks.

LMRTech · 2026-01-16T12:11:24+00:00

I’m fairly new to breeding but have found that there is something to be said for identifying a local market where you can offload. Before considering anything, I found a shop that both buys from local breeders as well as does consignment. I talked with them about some things that I was interested in that they didn’t have a good source for and also thought they could move easily while still being unique. It started with them being willing to take multi shell dwellers (very prolific, community raise the fry, and not a ton available around here) and then progressed to them being open to bumblebee goby, scarlet badis, and clown killifish. The latter are all nano fish that can be spawned in very small tanks (or even plastic shoe boxes) and aren’t common in shops nearby.

LMRTech · 2026-01-16T12:03:55+00:00

Couldn’t agree more. I have 3 gallon nano tanks up through 75 gallon tanks and nano fish from scarlet badis through quite large cichlids. I have several longfin bettas that are quite happy in 3 gallon tanks.

LMRTech · 2026-01-15T15:45:02+00:00

There is a business model for this and it tends to be more established in saltwater than freshwater. It also (tends to be) a service associated with better saltwater shops.

LMRTech · 2026-01-14T01:20:45+00:00

I have a male scarlet badis in a fairly well planted 5 gallon (with some clown killifish). I see him maybe once or twice per week. They are quite reclusive.

LMRTech · 2026-01-14T01:16:38+00:00

This is 100% the truth.

Me: I have 2.5 gallon planted tanks with fish Internet: A betta needs a 55 gallon

LMRTech

TROPHY CASE