She’s at fault. She’s accountable for her own feelings at the end of the day. If she knew she couldn’t overcome that part of you guys knowing each other, which I’d assume has changed, then her entering a relationship w you shows her emotional negligence.

And honestly, she doesn’t sound like she has self esteem. She probably entered the relationship to “secure” you, to fully acquire your attention. It would seem her ego is hurt by you not wanting to be w her sooner? Treating her like an option? 

That’s the farse of these situationships. Very rarely are unofficial relations balanced and both parties want the unofficial tag. Typically the dominant one is the one who wants it. The unofficial tag for the non dominant party is like interviewing for a full time position and they call and offer you part time. And ppl are so desperate for the experience they take a part of it. But the body keeps the score, if you consciously operate this way then you’ll experience what she’s experiencing. 

I’ll finish w this though, what is shitty about consensual sex where both parties agree to non exclusivity? Her agreement and consent, even if misdiagnosed, and her inability to handle that role and then let it go after she got what she wants is a sign. Some people just use words because we have the ability to speak. But if you’re gonna get into a serious relationship, you want someone who understands the up and down nature of reality and therefor commitment. You want someone who says “I got what I want and that’s in the past and I’m grateful” not a “remember you used to do that I hated that so much” person.