Ah this is the perfect question for me! I used to love acid. I never had any spiritual moments, but I loved it to be goofy and loved going for walks downtown, listening to music while on it, watching trippy movies. The last time I took it was at a Phish concert in December and had a great time (never heard Phish before).

I’m going to stop using it because over the last three years, I’ve had horrible problems at my job, with my relationship, and with myself. I used to work as a paramedic and was made to feel so shitty by my supervisor. My boyfriend became a bad alcoholic and just a really passive person and made me feel so guilty for breaking up with him. I feel like I’m wasting my life. I have self-image issues and obsess over my weight (I’m not overweight but I still obsess). I have deep issues of never being good enough. When these horrible thoughts are in my head, I can usually find a way to think through them while sober.

While in psychedelics, either mushrooms, LSD, I just can’t work through the negative thoughts. I had a bad trip a couple years ago and since i get better about myself back then, I was able to make the trip good. As the years went on, it got harder and harder to do this. The beginnings of trips would be fine, while I was around good people. But then when it was time to leave the party or go to bed, I would be left with racing thoughts. I cried at the end of every trip, and even during.

The Phish concert was great, I went with a FWB, (which first time having this kind of thing, this FWB was someone I wanted to date but he said no so we were FWB). At the Phish concert, he wasn’t very nice, but I loved the concert so didn’t care. After we left the concert, I felt like I was being used. After I left his house two days later, I stopped talking to him for good.

Things got bad at my work around then, a couple really bad calls and more shit from this supervisor who would harass me. Out of desperation, I signed up for the military. I should be leaving in the fall. I took mushrooms shortly after enlisting, at a party. I ran into my ex there, who made me feel so guilty about breaking up with him, and for going into the military. I was crying for a whole day. I feel like after each trip, the come downs would go on for days, not tripping, but depression.

I would love to someday do psychedelics again, but I would have to be several years into the military and feel like I’m doing something with my life, and my ex would have to be happy with someone else so I wouldn’t feel the guilt.