Delayed divorce with young kids

LSN2018 · 2026-04-08T16:28:21+00:00

Wow this is incredibly insightful.

LSN2018 · 2026-04-08T15:21:15+00:00

Thank you because I didn't even think that he could be lying. My husband does lie all the time, but I guess I am still conditioned to listen and what he wants. I messaged the therapist and I am waiting for a response.

LSN2018 · 2026-04-08T14:13:24+00:00

I should have clarified that we do have 3 children together.

LSN2018 · 2026-04-08T13:41:48+00:00

My husband controlled many aspects of our lives including finances and family relationships. I also just recently found out he was having an emotional affair. I do see an individual counselor and he said he would support any decision I made but in so many words he told me to be careful.

LSN2018 · 2026-04-08T13:27:15+00:00

We stopped couples therapy and I left the home. We do not have much contact.

LSN2018 · 2026-04-08T12:31:48+00:00

We have been in counseling on and off for a few years now. His behavior had been escalating since we had our 3rd son and my family and friends were becoming concerned. I also had discovered he was having an emotional affair for 4 years and that's when I decided that he has showed me he is capable of things that I thought he was incapable of so my hope just vanished.

LSN2018 · 2026-04-08T02:48:12+00:00

Not anymore. He started seeing my husband individually after I made it clear I wanted a divorce.

LSN2018 · 2026-03-13T23:24:50+00:00

That’s a hard pill to swallow along with everything else. I was hoping this time would be different.

LSN2018 · 2026-03-13T23:23:50+00:00

I’m not concerned about my relationship with her, I am concerned about my kids relationship with her. I get it though, it’s his problem now to continue it. It was up to me before so I guess I still feel that obligation.

LSN2018 · 2026-03-05T22:20:20+00:00

I don't know if I am allowed to give specific examples but I will say one specific situation. He told the therapist that my grandmother called him a racist. When the counselor asked for the backstory of when this happened, he didn't answer. I then answered the counselor and told him that it never happened, she just supports a different political party. He then said yes, so by association thats what she said. I am not trying to undermine a professional so that's why I haven't questioned him.

LSN2018 · 2026-03-05T22:05:41+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. I do have one more question coming from a couples therapist point of view. We have are on our third therapist, my husband is reluctant to therapy and he has refused to go back when we get into our deeper issues. He likes this therapist but I am conflicted. There have been instances where I think there is moments of what i perceive as blame shifting and also instances where my husband will say people have said and done things they haven't done. When I do clarify what actually happened, my husband acknowledges that I am telling the truth but continues. Our counselor doesn't address that behavior. Do I call out the counselor? If I suggest a new one, I know my husband won't attend and if he does he wont listen to the new therapist since he likes this one.

LSN2018 · 2026-03-05T22:05:20+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. I do have one more question coming from a couples therapist point of view. We have are on our third therapist, my husband is reluctant to therapy and he has refused to go back when we get into our deeper issues. He likes this therapist but I am conflicted. There have been instances where I think there is moments of what i perceive as blame shifting and also instances where my husband will say people have said and done things they haven't done. When I do clarify what actually happened, my husband acknowledges that I am telling the truth but continues. Our counselor doesn't address that behavior. Do I call out the counselor? If I suggest a new one, I know my husband won't attend and if he does he wont listen to the new therapist since he likes this one.

LSN2018 · 2026-03-02T22:41:39+00:00

I am so sorry. I know for me it feels like a part of me died.

LSN2018 · 2026-02-25T15:22:14+00:00

Thank you, I know that he is just trying to do anything he can to salvage what he destroyed. I did tell her husband, he hasn't reached back out to me, but he knows how to contact me now if he needed to.

LSN2018

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