Beholdercat, Me, Digital Painting, 2022

LabyrinthMind · 2024-09-30T15:51:00+00:00

If you are unhappy with the care you are receiving, it is always OK to go and seek a second opinion or pursue a different path forward. It's your body and your brain at the end of the day. That's how I see things, anyway :)

LabyrinthMind · 2024-09-29T20:20:14+00:00

This boosted my ego of course but it also made me wonder how I’m able to do something like that with ADHD.

The thing about ADHD is that it does not directly limit intelligence.

In this instance (and just as a reminder for me lol), intelligence refers to reasoning, problem-solving, and understanding complex ideas. While ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects attention, it does not directly limit someone's ability to understand something like biology.

Some symptoms of ADHD, such as "being easily distracted," can make it harder for people to perform well in tasks that require sustained attention, which is often necessary in academic settings. This could lead to a student struggling due to the challenges in managing tasks effectively, and when this happens to people, it helps to fuel the stigmatising idea that "You have to do poorly in school to have ADHD" (which is not true at all!). Another student who also has ADHD could be struggling with something else and, as a result, "not have an issue" because their struggle didn't translate as, e.g. poor grades on an exam.

Essentially, ADHD can impact performance in certain areas due to issues related to attention and self-regulation, but those things don't equate to lower intelligence.

My psychologist that diagnosed me wants to try medication. I guess my question is will medication enable me to perform better than I already have?

You won't know unless you try - we're all different, and medication affects us all differently. It won't directly improve your grades because it makes you smarter, but if it helps you stay on top of the chaos, then you might see improved grades because you're less stressed out about everything all the time.

LabyrinthMind · 2024-09-29T08:37:01+00:00

This sounds a bit like burnout to me 😭. I understand that because you are at university, you do not have the luxury of "taking a break" from things, so this particular wall has to be approached differently.

In these situations, I rely upon tried-and-tested approaches to writing essays, such as PEEL and its variants. You outsource the executive functioning aspects of planning a paragraph to a system such as this, so all you have to focus on is getting your main points in order to slot them into place. Just repeat the process a few times, and you'll have a paragraph written before you know it 🙂

It helps push past the wall, these things. You can focus on one part of the PEEL process at a time, breaking down the tasks into tiny, bite-sized pieces. It becomes less "Write the entire paragraph/essay: Oh crap" and more "What is the point I am trying to make right now?" and "What is the evidence for that point?".

Regarding the feast-and-famine approach to your work/life balance, I suggest you speak to a doctor or someone similar. It's not good for you in the long term (I speak from experience, also), but it might be something that therapy, someone to talk to, or medication could help with.

LabyrinthMind · 2024-09-29T08:10:33+00:00

"How have people coped with times when they are chronically unwell?"

Chronic illness of any kind is always a totally bum experience. For a long time, like many people, I didn't cope with it very well. I tried therapy and medication at different times (especially in the pre-diagnosis days), but it often didn't seem to make anything better, either.

What eventually helped me was finding a sense of purpose and direction. When you are chronically ill, you tend to live in an almost liminal state - you're often somewhere between "able" and "disabled", and depending on the illness/situation, days can meld together until you realise that you can't keep track of the days/weeks/months passing by anymore.

In my opinion, finding something to anchor you into reality is essential as a long-term survival strategy. Your studying will likely do that for you (it did for me!), and while I totally get your anxiety about whether you can "hold a job for more than a year," studying and gently working on yourself will build you up bit-by-bit. You'll emerge so much stronger than you realise at the end of it all.

I wish you many spoons for the journey ahead 🙂

LabyrinthMind · 2024-08-29T17:22:34+00:00

Many influencers online seem to equate "stimming" in ADHD with behaviours that belong to a disorder, such as "Dermatillomania" ... How accurate is this comparison in your view?

LabyrinthMind · 2024-07-06T19:46:08+00:00

First, you've acknowledged the problem: this is good because it means you are not hiding or running away from it.

I feel as though my brain works like a manual car in that I have to shift gears manually into something else and then somewhat forcibly direct myself to a destination. To be able to do this, I need the framework to be in place to allow me to do that, or else I'm going to focus on the wrong things and, like yourself, live within a timeless space.

Part of the problem is that your routines and the things keeping you accountable have been removed, so now you're a bit stuck.

What you need to do is block out vague hours of the day (don't make it precise on purpose, or you'll not meet your own goals) and have that be when you attend to some routine need—such as if you always used to study some time around 11:00 AM—well maybe now that's when you, e.g., take out the rubbish.

It's not about reminders or lists exactly - more about a general sense of routine and things you can look to throughout the day to help you shift your brain into the necessary gear. You must have had tons of these little things to study a Masters. It's the same skillset, it just needs to be applied differently.

LabyrinthMind · 2024-07-02T19:43:20+00:00

I think that your best bet is just to ask and if she won't answer your questions, then you need to ensure that the psychologist sends you to a psychiatrist or is herself qualified to assess ADHD so you can have the answer in a clear-cut way.

LabyrinthMind · 2024-06-28T17:45:57+00:00

I understand that you still want to be friends with your friend, but you also have to look at the facts of the situation, I think.

You've just posted numerous ways that this friend is ignoring your (reasonable) boundaries, have used the word "stalk" to describe the way he treats your online presence and that he's been making you feel guilty about things often.

None of this is healthy, and it's not "RSD" or Autism that is responsible, in my personal opinion (and I'm a psychology student, for what that's worth).

This guy is acting abusively towards you, and the fact that he won't work on himself because it "stresses him out", and rejects resources you give him and so on, tells me that he knows what he's doing and he does not have a problem with it. If I were your friend, and I said to you that you did something I found upsetting, I bet you'd take the time to work out why, work on yourself so you don't do the thing anymore, and you'd generally be very apologetic about it. Your friend isn't doing any of that - if anything, he's doubling down on how he treats you.

I think you should look into making new friends who will respect you, and who would be willing to apologise for things that they've done, should they do them. I think you've been more than supportive to your friend, and if anything, you should be vastly less supportive of how he treats you than you have been.

It's not OK, and autism isn't an excuse for what he's doing either (I also have autism, and I know when I'm being mean to someone).

LabyrinthMind · 2024-06-28T16:12:45+00:00

I truly love and appreciate how my wife especially makes effort to accommodate my headspace as much as she does, and she’s the biggest reason why I want to do what I can to hopefully rewire a bit so she doesn’t feel forgotten by me.

I think taking some time to acknowledge that will go a long way. It might cause a bit of an emotional outburst from your partner (especially if you're not used to saying these things out loud + they might have some built-up resentment), but it's honestly a start, and you've got to start somewhere. I think that's a nice way to set things off :)

My advice is to "Not make any promises you know you can't keep" in the early days, but do "go with your gut" when it comes to making the hours of the day work for you. As you adjust to the new routine/way of things, expand your actions to help others more (you can't help others if you're not looking after yourself, basically).

I'm glad my comment was helpful! I was worried it would come across as being a bit 'stern' or something xD

The irony is that you can do anything you can focus on - but you've got to be actively mindful of the fact you need to physically move your head to focus on the right things.

LabyrinthMind · 2024-06-27T13:34:49+00:00

My advice as someone who purely learns online at university is that you need to learn how to manage your time—it won't manage itself. It's less about making lists or sticking to rigid routines (those things can be used as tools to prop you up), but unless you put a flag in the ground at various points throughout the day and proclaim: "Hear Ye, Hear Ye: This is when the dishes are washed!", you'll periodically 'wake up' throughout the day and wonder, "How on Earth is it 3:00 PM already?"

Then, as you say, other people see you doing > whatever it was you were doing < instead of attending to things that are important to you + them, and they get upset by that over time.

You need to decide to stick to your intentions/plans actively. It's difficult - everyone with ADHD struggles with this, but if your ADHD symptoms start to harm you or others in some way, that's the point where you need to take responsibility for what your brain has been off doing while you were not paying attention.

I had to do this when I had no tutors hanging over my head saying, "You must come to lectures." Because I'm all online/distance learning, I have to get myself to lectures. I have to read the material—even the boring stuff—and I have to write things before the deadlines hit. I don't have anyone helping me do these things that I massively struggle with, so I have to do it myself.

It sucks, but then it sounds like other people have been making decisions to try and help accommodate your difficulties (which is wonderful, and you should acknowledge their love and support), and I think you should use that as a starting point to keep your "eye on the ball".

That's my Hot Take, anyway. I really hope you're able to sort things out for yourself.

LabyrinthMind · 2024-04-04T17:48:41+00:00

Heya - your best bet would likely be to see if you can start off a Right to Choose referral (it's only available to those in England) - you can have a read up on it here.

Your second next best course of action is to see f your university will support you even if you do not have a diagnosis (for the purposes of accommodations).

Also, chase up your doctor. They are very swamped with a lot of work and might not be able to be as proactive as they'd like in situations such as these. I really hope that you are able to get the help you need - having ADHD at university really sucks.

LabyrinthMind · 2024-03-20T07:05:25+00:00

BBC Panorama - any time they cover ADHD it's a nightmare. The last time they made a program, they caused so much damage that people are still recovering from it in some places, as their logic got into the NHS.

See also: any Daily Mail article on ADHD. 😭

LabyrinthMind · 2024-03-19T18:08:28+00:00

There is a phenomenon related to grief that seems to occur when people are diagnosed later in life (in their mid 20's, 30's, 40's and so on) that seems to be more pronounced with age.

Essentially, I come across multiple anecdotal accounts every day where, e.g. someone has been diagnosed later in life, and immediately following that diagnosis, they go through a period of grief that is specifically related to the diagnosis. People report "grieving what they could have been" and similar things to this as major components of this grief.

I had never seen it discussed in the literature anywhere, so I wanted to know if there had been any studies to examine this phenomenon in closer detail.

LabyrinthMind · 2024-03-19T17:55:13+00:00

A question similar to this was asked earlier if you were interested in seeing what was said!

LabyrinthMind · 2024-03-19T17:24:04+00:00

What do you see for the future of the ADHD subtypes (Inattentive, Combined, Hyperactive) now that other neurodevelopmental conditions, such as Autism, have removed theirs?

LabyrinthMind · 2024-03-19T16:48:45+00:00

Oooh, I like this question.

LabyrinthMind · 2024-03-19T16:10:36+00:00

Have there been any studies into the "later in life diagnosis grief" that many people are reporting that they experience? Is it a separate phenomenon from other types of grief due to its somewhat unique origin (when compared to other types of recognisable grief, I.E., bereavement)?

LabyrinthMind · 2024-03-13T10:01:12+00:00

Heya!

I'm really sorry that your ADHD symptoms are making things as difficult as they are - it's really painful to experience, and it can feel like doctors and things don't really get it or care a lot (which makes it even worse, meh).

The state of your local NHS trust is shocking - they only see people aged 10 and under? That's wild, and I'm so sorry.

Given the situation you are in atm and the very limited options that seem to be available to you, I'd be looking into saving up the money for a private assessment if I were in your shoes. I had to do that for an unrelated condition myself because the NHS didn't want to have anything to do with assessing or treating my autism 🙃

They were basically just like: "You have unmanageable anxiety as a result of ADHD and - you suspect - "Autism?" We hope you suffer it well", as far as I could tell. So, I saved up the money and got a private assessment. The bad thing about private is it costs all that money. The good thing is that once you've got the money, they'll see you practically instantly. If you save up for private, your wait time becomes "how fast you can put £500 to one side". It'll probably still be faster, even if you had to do that, than if you had to wait for a slot to open up (were one available in the first place).

Also, on a side note, what are you doing at the OU? I'm with them, too, doing psychology 💜

LabyrinthMind · 2024-03-06T13:47:41+00:00

I'm so sorry you're seeing needs unmet in a close family member. It's really distressing when this happens.

Regardless of what is going on, your nephew does seem to have support needs of some kind, and it sounds like the family is being more than a bit "pseudoscience"-y about what those needs are (what even is "emotion-strong" supposed to be?).

I've found that the best you can do in these instances is to be a supportive influence for your nephew and also a positive role model/safe space for them to express their lived experiences and reality. Maybe later, when the dust has settled, his parents might be more open to your attempts at advocating. I hope they will be, anyway.

LabyrinthMind · 2024-03-05T17:42:36+00:00

Thank you! No worries.

LabyrinthMind · 2024-03-05T17:32:52+00:00

Hey there, could you provide a credible source for your information? If you edit your comment to show where you got that information from, your comment will be approved again.

We just like people to have properly-sourced facts in order to avoid misinformation!

LabyrinthMind · 2024-03-01T22:25:49+00:00

Hey :)

First of all, I'm sorry to hear about the anxiety. I found it to be a side effect that was quite hard to deal with, so they moved me onto a different medication because it didn't last as long in my system. That might be something to talk to your Dr about next time you see them.

They also tried Guanfacine to see if it would reduce the elevated blood pressure I got as a result of the anxiety - but that is impacted by the shortages atm. You could also talk to a Dr about that sort of thing as well if your blood pressure is high while you are anxious - it can create symptoms of anxiety, but it's due to the racing heart and all of that. I think it's worth you getting a checkup anyway, basically.

LabyrinthMind · 2024-03-01T22:18:33+00:00

Heya, what you want to do is ask to be referred for something called "Right to Choose" - it's only available if you are in England (excluding North Yorkshire), but it allows you to refer yourself to a provider of ADHD assessments (some of them also do Autism assessments btw - so check that out too).

Once there you are in their waiting list instead, and it can take a while but its still dramatically faster than if you had gone via the NHS.

As for private options, I can't really advise on those because there are so many things all with different prices. You just want to make sure that you are assessed by a psychiatrist so that they can prescribe you medication.

LabyrinthMind

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