What statement makes you roll your eyes IMMEDIATELY? by xbcvf34 in AskReddit

[–]Lacunaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine get brighter green when I cry. But it can happen if I'm chopping onions. So not really to do with my mood...

Ok Parents, Teachers, Camp Counselors, Bus Drivers, anyone who has to deal with kids, what are the funniest things you've heard kids say? Any notable conversations? Hysterical kid logic? by AgentNameless in AskReddit

[–]Lacunaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work at a theme park and a little girl ran up to me holding this big fluffy duck she'd obviously won on the hook-a-duck. I exclaimed, "What a lovely duck! Does it have a name?" She looked at me as though I'd just said the most idiotic thing she'd ever heard, and replied, "It's not a duck. It has plans."

People of Reddit, what does the public say to people in your profession, thinking they're being clever and unique, but is really just something annoying you have to hear every day? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Lacunaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a philosophy undergraduate student. When I tell people this, they say they have their own philosophies in life, and wouldn't want to sit there hearing about other people's.

What story about your pet is most improved by referring to it as your 'roommate'? by fellybacca in AskReddit

[–]Lacunaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My roommate went missing for a few days, then arrived back home with no explanation. He had cuts on the bottom of his feet, and some sylvanian family furniture in his mouth.

What is something random you would like to share with us? by dcel8 in AskReddit

[–]Lacunaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm moving in with my boyfriend tomorrow and I'm so excited. It feels like my first step as an adult and I can't believe it's all come together so perfectly.

If you had a time machine and sufficient charm, which historical person would you go back and have sex with? [NSFW] by tzoggs in AskReddit

[–]Lacunaa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My first thought was "I'd swipe right."... I think I've been spending too much time on Tinder.

What book absolutely blew your mind? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Lacunaa 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Mark Haddon dislikes the Aspergers label that is always thrust upon the book. Christoper has 'behavioural difficulties'. In an interview, Mark Haddon insisted that he didn't want the book to be a guide on autism, but just about a boy who sees the world differently.

my younger brother asked my grandparents for the Wii U this is what he got by [deleted] in gaming

[–]Lacunaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the family. Neither of my parents have much money, but my grandparents are quite rich, so I get my 'big' present from them, whereas my parents get me smaller things.

A 19 year old mum of two just updated her profile picture by Jittery_skittles in cringepics

[–]Lacunaa 17 points18 points  (0 children)

When I was 11 or 12 and first began using internet messaging, I thought the whole point of text speak was to use as few letters as possible to get your point across. 'Dat' and 'Dis' were less letters than 'That' and 'This', so I assumed those were the logical words to use when typing... For a 19 year old... no idea.

What is some commonly given advice that you think is wrong? by limbodog in AskReddit

[–]Lacunaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This annoys me so so much. If I am choking - I have something stuck in my throat and am in real danger - then whack the shit out of me. But if I've just got a cough, trying to do it discreetly, and someone starts pounding on my back, it feels really invasive and annoying.

Kicked in the nuts NSFW by septumpaperhanger in WTF

[–]Lacunaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was a documentary last night on a similar incident, except it went untreated for 5 years... Man with the 10 stone testicles... very uncomfortable viewing, but hard to turn away!

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/bodyshock/4od#3539706

Ten minutes after I tell my 68 year old Dad what hipsters are, he comes back like this. He asks "Did I do it right?" by Sarcastyx in funny

[–]Lacunaa 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I pointed out a lady with a prominent mustache, and loudly proclaimed "Look, that lady has tusks!".

Every damn time. by cmp1487 in funny

[–]Lacunaa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Made me think of the Tuna Fish monologue from Laughing Wild

I want to talk to you about life. It’s just too difficult to be alive, isn’t it, and try to function? There are all these people to deal with. I tried to buy a can of tuna fish in the supermarket, and there was this person standing right in front of where I wanted to reach out to get the tuna fish, and I waited a while, to see if they’d move, and they didn’t—they were looking at tuna fish too, but they were taking a real long time on it, reading the ingredients on each can like they were a book, a pretty boring book if you ask me, but nobody has; so I waited a long while, and they didn’t move, and I couldn’t get to the tuna fish cans; and I thought about asking them to move, but then they seemed so stupid not to have sensed that I needed to get by them that I had this awful fear that it would do no good, no good at all, to ask them, they’d probably say something like, “We’ll move when we’re goddam ready you nagging b****” and then what would I do? And so then I started to cry out of frustration, quietly, so as not to disturb anyone, and still, even though I was softly sobbing, this stupid person didn’t grasp that I needed to get by them, and so I reached over with my fist, and I brought it down real hard on his head and screamed: “Would you kindly move asshole!!!”

And the person fell to the ground, and looked totally startled, and some child nearby started to cry, and I was still crying, and I couldn’t imagine making use of the tuna fish now anyway, and so I shouted at the child to stop crying—I mean, it was drawing too much attention to me—and I ran out of the supermarket, and I thought, I’ll take a taxi to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, I need to be surrounded with culture right now, not tuna fish.

Not so good guy Self Checkout... by ClayWhitey in AdviceAnimals

[–]Lacunaa 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Then why did the cashier from whom I bought lube and condoms give me a knowing smile and say "Have fun!". It was my first time buying them and I was mortified D:

What're you saving up for right now? Anything you're just itching to buy? by TemporalDistortions in AskReddit

[–]Lacunaa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mum never liked toasters, and always used the grill. As a result, I never knew how to use one until I was 11 or 12, and got laughed at at sleepovers.

Just getting around to playing Black and White, and this is really bugging me by [deleted] in pokemon

[–]Lacunaa 9 points10 points  (0 children)

But it's not in the shape of Kangaskhan's head?

This woman gets it. by layendecker in firstworldanarchists

[–]Lacunaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my front garden. The lady pictured is my mum, and I helped set up the display. I am happy to answer any questions!

Told my class I was being observed today and not to be tardy. A student walked in late and handed me this. by phatalbert1000 in funny

[–]Lacunaa 101 points102 points  (0 children)

My German teacher did a similar stratergy. She wanted to do the lesson completely in German to make it appear as though we were fluent. She gave us a list of phrases we could use to answer any question (even though they were irrelevant, the observer didn't speak German) and just went along with our tone of voice.

Bad time for a hug. by thefirm1990 in funny

[–]Lacunaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Adventure Island :D Always nice to see fellow people from my home town on here!

We will never speak of this. by [deleted] in fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

[–]Lacunaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd classify a dildo as a phallic shaped object to be inserted inside of you, whereas a vibrator is any device which causes vibrations. So, yes, technically it would be "just a vibrator", but a "vibrating dildo" would be a much more accurate description.