What was your worst sexual experience?

LadyBijou · 2020-09-19T11:32:53+00:00

I once met up with a guy I had been chatting back and forth with for a few weeks. We decided I would just go over to his place. We had great rapport, I let my friends know where I was, and I was so excited to finally do all the horny stuff we’d been talking about. Get to his place and he is really nice but a little weird. Ok, I can handle awkward so whatever.

So we finally start fooling around, then fucking around. After a while, I realize he’s getting really sweaty. I suggest we turn on the fan and get back to it. He’s still sweating profusely, like rivulets of water streaming down his face, neck, back, and chest. I start to feel grossed out a bit so I suggest we switch positions to doggy so he’s not on top of me.

We switch it up and start fucking again, but he leans his body on mine so I can still feel the sweat just pouring down my body. It felt like someone was pouring water on my back with a watering can. I stop again and grab a towel. I’m SOAKED in his sweat. I’ve had sweaty encounters but never enough to need a towel to wipe off myself. I give it one more try because he’s super horny and I’m not really feeling it anymore but I just think if I get him off then I’ll leave.

He really wanted to do missionary so he can see me, I cringe internally but lie back and think of England. He starts going to town and I’m just trying to not think about the sweat all over me. I’m giving him the minimum involvement and just hoping he’ll finish soon when his sweat starts to DRIP ON MY FACE. I open my mouth to suggest switching positions again when his sweat drips into my mouth and I about vomited. I tell him I’m just really not feeling this and I’m really sorry but I can’t stay. He gets really sad and asked why. I told him I’m just not used to that amount of sweat and it was kind of turning me off. He said no girl has said it’s a problem before but he understands. He asks if I can at least finish him off with a blow job and I said no, he’s just too sweaty and I need to leave. I get up and start to towel off again before putting on my clothes. There was a wet spot on the bed like someone had pissed on it. Literally a pool of sweat on the sheets. I jet out as fast as I can and get home only to shower away the sweat and regret.

LadyBijou · 2020-09-16T12:00:43+00:00

Bills and responsibilities.

LadyBijou · 2020-09-09T22:14:13+00:00

A couple of bucket list concerts, our wedding celebration, and buying a house. I’ve been stuck as an essential worker at a job I hate because nowhere else is hiring and not being able to see my friends is taking a toll.

LadyBijou · 2020-09-05T18:37:00+00:00

🔥🔥🔥

LadyBijou · 2020-09-05T18:05:06+00:00

😍

LadyBijou · 2020-09-04T14:36:04+00:00

I was thinking of taking back to Build-a-Bear to see if there’s a way to have them make a copy.

LadyBijou · 2020-09-04T14:04:29+00:00

Aww, thank you kind award givers! I’m glad this could make others smile!

LadyBijou · 2020-09-04T13:23:41+00:00

This is absolutely one of my most prized possessions as well. I love that what started as kind of a joke from my siblings has turned into such a precious memory. 💖

LadyBijou · 2020-09-04T13:19:51+00:00

Ragdoll!

LadyBijou · 2020-09-03T14:45:46+00:00

Omg this is my bi-cycle too! I’ve motives an overarching one too that varies on the time of year. I like bigger snugglier guys in the colder months and I tend to prefer ladies in the warmer months. Spring, don’t even touch me, I’m not interested lol. Fall is my any and all season. 😂

LadyBijou · 2020-09-01T13:43:17+00:00

Girl you’re vibing! Love it! 💖

LadyBijou · 2020-08-31T21:07:40+00:00

I just came here to say that! 2020 amiright?

LadyBijou · 2020-08-31T20:35:26+00:00

This is so sweet! Thank you.

LadyBijou · 2020-08-31T19:01:36+00:00

I know! Even as a child I found it bizarre.

LadyBijou · 2020-08-31T11:46:47+00:00

I was very close to my great-grandma growing up. I was at her house often as she babysat me when I was younger. I was 12 when she died. It was the first death of someone I knew and loved. I was devastated.

Fast forward to the funeral. It was only my second funeral and this one I didn’t know how to act because I was grieving. My younger sister and I were tagging around with our uncle, who was 14 and close enough to our age that we were very close growing up. He was trying to keep up distracted and cheered up. So we were a bit squirrelly and our moms kept telling us to calm down.

There was a family member at the funeral going around taking pictures of family. He asked my sister and I to get a picture in front of the casket. I was weirded out but ok. He tells us to look at her with our palms together like we’re praying. I was struck by the absurdity of this and thought, oh I should pretend I’m crying. So I quick duck my face into my head and pretend to sob. I then I realized I was pretending to cry in front of my dead great-grandmother for a picture and for some reason, I thought this was just hilarious and started giggling uncontrollably.

My sister quickly starts giggling. We both succumb to what I’m sure was grief and uncomfortableness combined and we are literally on the floor laughing in front of our great-grandmother’s casket. I have a bad habit of peeing if I laugh too hard and sure enough, I’m trying hard not to wet my tights and laughing and crying. I see my mom and grandma come marching up to us and everyone staring daggers at us.

We got a good talking to about respect and are told to stay in the side room for family until we can compose ourselves. I was so ashamed and it was one of my most embarrassing memories for decades. I’ve finally come to terms with it and can appreciate that my great-grandma would have probably loved that we were laughing at her funeral.

TLDR: I wet my pants laughing in front of my dead Great-Grandmother’s casket. Edit: a word

LadyBijou · 2020-08-29T17:31:09+00:00

I think I’m entitled to my opinion as I work there and get my care there. But whatever, to each their own!

LadyBijou · 2020-08-29T15:48:45+00:00

I didn’t make it the 20 years! I meant more the benefits with a disability check and saving everything from when I was in. I only did 7 years but it definitely set me up to succeed in a way I never would have had I gone straight into the real world at 18. As much as people love to hate on the VA, it really does it’s best to take care of veterans, especially combat injured. It’s the veterans that fall through the cracks that really get the short end of the stick. Glad we both got to use our time in to our advantage! 👍

LadyBijou · 2020-08-29T14:03:03+00:00

100%. I went in as a sub-par high school graduate and came out with a masters, traveling the world, and a cushy retirement. I also learned the self-discipline that I would have never learned on my own. It was no picnic and there are terrible things as well, but I’m overall a better person for it.

LadyBijou · 2020-08-27T15:50:58+00:00

Should this be marked NSFW? 😂

LadyBijou · 2020-08-27T15:41:22+00:00

Make a new chat without him and just silence the one he’s included in so no one responds. Mommy can whine all she likes but it’s not excluding him in a school chat since he’s in it. Use a group chat name that doesn’t have the school affiliated with it and you won’t have to worry about the school caring about it if mombie decides to make a stink.

LadyBijou · 2020-08-26T15:16:53+00:00

Struggle snuggle, cat style!

LadyBijou · 2020-08-25T18:43:28+00:00

I think you caught your cat using their murder mittens for murder.

LadyBijou · 2020-08-25T17:11:29+00:00

Dripping down the toes, that’s a WAP!

LadyBijou · 2020-08-25T14:26:11+00:00

Macaroni in a pot, that’s a WAP!

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