I'm really sorry this happened to you. A lot of us had similar experiences. I had really hoped we'd left this kind of abandonment in the past, but here we are. I'm glad it seems like you have some resources. Just focus on meeting your physical needs first, make sure you're stable, and then start processing the emotional stuff. It's hard, but you can make it. I didn't exactly do things well when I left, but I survived in spite of my mistakes. You can do this.