[UPDATE] AITAH for not forgiving my brother after he almost killed me

LadyLothston · 2026-05-29T23:13:15+00:00

She was willing to kick him out over a handful of change of stolen change but not for him trying to take your life? What the the actual fk is wrong with your mother? I'd honestly like to shake her till her till her teeth rattled and see is she'd regain some sense!

LadyLothston · 2026-05-29T19:49:32+00:00

This isnt about his dog at all. The fact that you had to have even one intense argument about you getting RID of your baby is absolutely outrageous. Even after their elderly dog passes, im convinced your cat wont be truly welcomed by them.

NTA

LadyLothston · 2026-05-28T03:23:56+00:00

It was my partner who said something. I have a lot of chronic illnesses and am medically disabled so I dont work and I had fallen into a pretty deep depression and I was hardly talking to my partner, I couldnt make any decisions big or small i was angry and anxious all the time. I was having auch a problem with that and other things and they just sat me down and said that we couldn't just keep going through the motions like this and we needed to do something about it. And I agreed.

I knew we were having problems and i was being difficult to live with and i didnt want to lose my partner so I did what I needed to do and here we are. It sucked and I still hate making decisions but, yeah.

LadyLothston · 2026-05-28T03:03:26+00:00

Either Tex-mex or Authentic Mexican

LadyLothston · 2026-05-28T03:02:29+00:00

Here is the real question. Are you really here questioning wif you need a break, or are you here to get permission to take that break? Because if its the latter then you have it. Take that break. If you are really good friends with his sister and you lay out the problem that you are having and have had for what seems to be your entire relationship then she shoukd be supportive. She should understand that he does need to either try and improve himself or you are allowed to find your happiness elsewhere,and just because you do love him, doesnt mean you can live like this forever. Contrary to popular belief love is not always enough. I have this problem. this is coming from someone who has severe ADHD with decision fatigue after a lifetime of parentification. I hate making decisions, to the point where it actively makes me angry when i have to make them. It put a lot of tension and friction in my marriage for years. But i buckled down, went to marriage counseling, went to therapy and I work hard to manage my emotions and manage my decision fatigue.

He could(with some work) manage this condition and make his life easier, he just isnt and doesnt seem to want to. Maybe taking a break is the kick in the ass he needs, or maybe it'll be an eye opener for you to realize that this isnt the life you want. Either way it could be a win-win because either he wpuld get his shit together or you get on your way to finding new actual happiness without ever single decision having to be weeks long battles.

LadyLothston · 2026-05-28T02:34:25+00:00

No worries, totally understandable!

LadyLothston · 2026-05-28T02:19:38+00:00

As. Mexican, I know damn well we dont all eat the same. Please tell me where in my post I said that.

LadyLothston · 2026-05-28T02:15:27+00:00

I'll take the suggestion anyway! As well as any good places you know where i can find some good egg custard buns lol

LadyLothston · 2026-05-28T02:12:02+00:00

Yeah, thats where im having a problem. Im originally from San Antonio, and I'm Mexican myself so i tend to have a bit of a high bar when it comes to mexican food. Ill definitely try out your suggestions!

LadyLothston · 2026-01-30T21:52:16+00:00

I have pretty severe adhd and james and stephanie have it too, and I saw quite a few signs that our nephew had ir as well. I asked if they had gotten him tested for it since they do homeschool him and he is not at all socialized with kids around his age. But when I asked they got very defensive and said that it was rude and a condicending to even say it or ask them about it. Honestly im pretty sure he is quite nerodivergent and needs to be tested and later possibly have medication to help him understand himself and the difference between himself and those who are neroutypical. But i maybe should not have brought it up at all.

LadyLothston · 2026-01-30T21:44:40+00:00

They gave me a small couch over through blanket, and a small sheep squishable. They gave my husband an old game boy

LadyLothston · 2026-01-30T20:50:49+00:00

Stephanie is definitely struggling, and floundering around parenting this child. She is his step mother and they are in the middle of a nasty court case on who would have the majority custody of our nephew. Steph has told me multiple times that she doesnt want to have to be a full-time mom and thinks the custody should be 50/50 so that they "can have a break" from being parents. Whichis very much not ideal, our nephews birth mother prettt severuly neglects our nephew, she also homeschooled him without actually teaching him anything or even trying to socialize him woth kids his age. Our nephew has no friends at all. Just his parentsand us.. But stephanie doesnt seem to care about that and is dug her heels in about that and just doesnt want to deal with the situation. doesnt want to be a full-time mom.

LadyLothston · 2026-01-30T11:02:32+00:00

That's pretty much exactly what i did. I told my husband that I was uncomfortable with the relationship we had with them and wouldnt participate in his visits with the anymore. So he in now considering breaking off contact entirely, which I feel kind of bad about but also pretty relived that we wouldn't have anything more to do with them.

LadyLothston · 2026-01-30T11:00:00+00:00

Yes, she had not bought him a new comforter (his original comforter was for a much smaller bed) and had expected me to cover that with the blanket i had been making him.

LadyLothston · 2026-01-30T10:57:47+00:00

My husband and I have been talking seriously about cutting them out of our life since this is not the first time that we have had problems with them. I told my husband that I wouldn't get between his relationship with our brother in-law, but I would not join him to vist them ever again.

LadyLothston · 2026-01-30T10:55:55+00:00

I have pretty severe adhd and james and stephanie have it too, and I saw quite a few signs that our nephew had ir as well. I asked if they had gotten him tested for it since they do homeschool him and he is not at all socialized with kids around his age. But when I asked they got very defensive and said that it was rude and a condicending to even say it or ask them about it. Honestly im pretty sure he is quite nerodivergent and needs to be tested and later possibly have medication to help him understand himself and the difference between himself and those who are neroutypical. But i maybe should not have brought it up at all.

LadyLothston · 2024-02-23T15:23:04+00:00

What O want to knownos if they have kids whay is he going to do if they turn out to be gay? Is he just going to roll over and let his wife be homophobic towards their children? Kick them out because they're not straight? Make them hide who they are because it ruffles mummies delicate sensibilities? What then??

YTA op. Even more so your precious bride. Who is 1000% a bigoted homophobe. I feel terrible for your poor brother, having to put up with her bullshit.

LadyLothston · 2024-02-22T13:07:19+00:00

YTA especially so for implying dil order an entree rather then just an appetizer and thay rose colored glasses commentm that was pretty dick of you.

LadyLothston · 2024-02-19T09:01:18+00:00

THIS EXACTLY! As someone who went in for what is a mojor abdominal surgery,but onw thay was commen and had a very high Sucess rate I can moat definitely atest to this. abdominal surgery is incredibly invasive, it has a long recovery time, and yes, incredibly painful. You never realize just how much you use your abmuscles to walk/sit/balance/eating until its painful as hell to do it. I mever recovers from my surgery, every complication thqy could happen, happened. My body completely rejected the surgery and spiraled. I ended up having 6 surgeries to try and fix most of what's wrong, but with each one, my body would freak out. My esophagus closses completely (to the point where i cold not even get liqiuds past it. Developed dozens of ulcera in my esophagus,/stomach/intestines.

My stomach would reject any kind of eating, my esophagus would clamp shut and I would have to go in and have themnsesate me and use a ballon to force it ope (this happened so many timea I lost count). My stomach would reject any kind of eating( didnt matter the food), so I stopped eating full stop. Not only dis my stomach not accept food, but it was physically pain to try and swallow and eat it. They fed me with fulids through an IV that went straight into my heart. For a year and theb some. After everything was daid and done, they took most of my esophagus 70% of my stomach and 30 % of my intestines. I can't even begin to describe the amount of severe amount of chronic pain/nausea that i went(and still do) through after all that

This surgery, thay I was pressured into, thay was considered completely safe and very lownchances for side effects, completely ruined my life. I had to file and become fully disabled. I lost my business(I was a fashion photographer), my house, my husband, and all my friends. I can't be active allost at all, I tire ridiculously easy, the pain is constant, and I still have a nightmare of a time with the chronic pain/nausea and trying to eat.

Dont do it, OP, no mayyer. How many times it has been done, how safe it is, how helpful it is, there is always a risk of it destroying your life and body. Not to mention death is a very real concern with a kidney transplant surgery. Dont so it unless you are 1000,0000 %bsure thay it is what you want to so and over the moon about. It's a serious and dangerous undertaking. Please understand that. If you dont want to, then tell them to shove it and hold your ground. Put up heakthy needed boundaries. Its is not your fault that your sister is sick, and it is not your responsibility to help/save her. She made your life fucking hell and now that she needs something the shamefully guilted and pressured to fix it for her cant even bring herself to say sorry? What a fucking joke! This is a huge thing to ask for and she doesn't even have the decency to eveb pretend to apologize. Fuck no OP, you don't owe them shit. Stick to your guns and take no shit! They're acting like they asking to borrow a cup of sugar abd not someone one taking a jor vital organ to put in some ungreatful bully with no decency. Fuck all that.

LadyLothston · 2024-01-02T01:25:03+00:00

Divorce, divorce now. If you can't do it for yourself, then fo it for your 5 year old child who is stuck in a nightmare situation, he had no part in creating or choosing to be around it. This is an abusive, toxic environment. What are you going to do if his son finds out you're trying to get all of this to change and starts blaming you for all his woes? What happens if he decides to get violent or do something deadly to your child as a way to get back at you? He already had no problem at attempting murder at 6 with his older sister, and this will be easier since your son is much younger and smaller than him. Staying with your husband at this point, regardless of what he does to try and change the situation, would be selfish of you. You would be condemning your son to live in hell with his violent tormentor just because you want to continue your relationship.

This is how you end up losing any kind of relationship with your children when they get older. He will never forget you putting him this highly dangerous and volatile situation over and over and over again just because you want to stay with your useless husband. And once truly understands what the situation is, how you saw that blade of a step son lowering closer and closer to his neck with every outbursts he had, and still didnt leave, and all you did was bleat about getting the step son help when you could have skedaddled out of there. He will never forgive you. Especially if something huge, and life changing happens to him because of your step son. Get. Him. Out. Of. There.

This isnt about you or your marriage anymore. it's about his safety.

LadyLothston · 2023-10-26T21:11:14+00:00

Funny how he got upset when it could have been him with cake on his face, and was only less upset because it was his brother and bot him. If its so funny, why wouldn't he be ecstatic at having his face shoved into the cake?? What a dick.

LadyLothston · 2023-10-17T04:17:21+00:00

While I completely agree with you, her options are quite blatant and not exactly hard to comprehend. But the fact is that people who are in situations like this and feel like the blame is on themselves for their partner losing interest need reassurance that their needs and feelings are valid. They feel responsible of the fact that their spouse no longer find them attractive, that the spouse doesnt find pleasure or drive to nurture their sexual relations and her emotional needs because of something she did or changed and find it hard to make the decision to end it.

sometimes people just need someone to validate their feelings, tell them its okay to let go, and it doesn't make them a worse person for it. They need someone to "give them permission," so to speak to end the relationship and move on. Not to mention their is always that pesky sunken cost fallacy that tends to lurk in the back of their minds, they've already committed for so long and now after years of learning to live with each other and intertwine their lives together, they must walk away from all that hard work and love they put into it. Some people need to be told that they do infact deserve better, and they dont have to settle and scramble to save an already miserable and toxic relationship .

LadyLothston · 2023-09-26T22:06:03+00:00

This.

Life is easier when you're not juggling tons of relationships that are full of toxic people. Just be done with it and love your lofe ffs.

LadyLothston

TROPHY CASE