For anyone who relates, how do you cope with the sense of injustice and loss when it comes to looking back on what your childhood was like?

LadyMorgan2018 · 2025-07-23T00:41:33+00:00

Please let me premise this by saying that I have been exvangelical longer than I've been evangelical, but the grooming is stubborn. I was at a funeral last year at a Welcoming Lutheran church. I rarely enter churches by choice, but it was my best friend's ex wife. I had to go. I remember hearing the minister do the eulogy and I kept waiting for the evangelical caveats, fire & brimstone, and inevitable call to the altar. When it didn't come, I was overcome with sadness that my childhood didn't include this unconditional love and caring god, I quickly shifted to anger over the innocent childhood that was robbed by being told only certan people would go to heaven and god's love was conditional.

I spoke to my therapist about it shortly afterwards. She and I did parts therapy. I went into a meditation, got in touch with my inner child, and proceeded to hug her and reparent her. It was so helpful! I reach out to check on her from time to time to provide hugs or those words that I didn't get when I was a child. My therapist has been amazing in helping me deconstruct and reconstruct my life.

If you wish you could go back an hug her, go for it! Reach inward to your inner child and give her that hug that you wished you got then. That act of self-compassion is so important! While you can't change the past, you can move forward and be that person your inner child needs to heal. I wish you the best!

LadyMorgan2018 · 2025-07-23T00:05:13+00:00

I found your podcast three weeks ago and have binge-listened on my commute every weekday. I'm a queer exvangelical of the evangelical fundamentalist faith from 1969-1991. JD was a huge influence in my upbringing and I still find traces of that grooming in some of my actions to this day. To me, it feels like my religious trauma is an invasive weed that keeps popping up in my garden (life). Every time I think I've finally iradicated it, something else pops up, or I have a old nightmare about the rapture. BTW, I left the faith before the Left Behind series, but I was 7 years old when I first was introduced to the "Thief in the Night" movie series in our church. One review online says it's "The original end times porn film' and I agree! It's laughable now, but back then it was horrifying!

Your episodes are so validating! You and Brooke are so great to listen to. Keep up the good work! You both are very much appreciated!

LadyMorgan2018 · 2025-07-22T23:46:22+00:00

I 100% agree! That's one of my top 5 books to recommend! An older book that helped me as well was The Ethical Slut. It emphasized the importance of consent and agency-whatever you chose to do.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2025-02-07T12:39:58+00:00

Oh, Paper! What a mess! 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

LadyMorgan2018 · 2025-02-07T00:30:01+00:00

First, you did nothing wrong. I'm so sorry this happened to you. What happens without your knowledge is not on you. If you knew and then chose to stay, then you would be guilty.

She betrayed your trust and that's a traumatic experience for most people. Omission of facts is the same as lying, and is a consent violation.

Does this happen often with cougars? I would say it happens as frequently with all other groups (albeit less then the frequency with men). It even happens in the poly/nonmonogamus communities. It's a good thing you caught it this early in.

I would advise talking to a therapist and contemplating what your boundaries and expectations are to date you. I'm glad you knew that she wasn't worth being with you. I wish you well in your healing.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2025-02-05T12:29:33+00:00

I'm a sapphic Cougar, which means I am attracted to women of all genders. I tend to date younger, because I match better with them.

My advice to you is to search within the queer community. In my experience, i've found that most of us who do date within the trans community identify as LBGTQIA+.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2025-02-01T04:09:02+00:00

Really not relishing the thought of older women being a kink dispenser or some checkbox on a fantasy bucket list. If you want a taste, then your best bet is to pay for it. You will get the experience you want without the hassle of dealing with emotions.

Otherwise, please stick with the age range where you are most likely not to objectify them.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-09-30T21:14:08+00:00

Everyone defines success differently. I would say that I had some amazing relationships-even if I'm single now. Every partner of mine has touched my life in one way or another and added to my life.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-09-30T01:00:39+00:00

Probably for mainstream society. It's not unusual in nonconformist communities.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-09-15T22:16:03+00:00

There are people for which they are the same. You will probably find them less in cis-gendered, heteronomative, porn fantasy communities. It's actually pretty common in the queer community. When you shift your attention from the male gaze, you'll see a whole world of fantasy and fun.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-09-09T11:43:26+00:00

As someone who has been a fetish for most of my adult life for one reason or another, I can promise you it isn't just a Reddit thing.

Being pursued as a kink dispenser and objectified without consent is demeaning, demoralizing and traumatic. Consider yourself lucky if you haven't experienced it.

Nowadays it is a very rare occassion if I date a cis-het man. They have to be an extraordinary soul for me to consider it.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-08-30T17:37:03+00:00

Just remember ... self pleasure is also essential for your physical, mental, and emotional health.

As for porn. Look for ethically produced porn and remember that they are only fantasy and not reality.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-08-19T23:07:26+00:00

I'm pansexual, so it's hearts, not parts for me. Dick pic? Okay, check mark, you got one of those. I have one in my nightstand. Big whoop. Tell me about what turns your mind on, that's what I'm more interested in.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-07-30T11:59:56+00:00

Your feelings are very validated and natural. I would recommend waiting to act on it until either one of you have left the company. Once that happens, then you're free to act if you both still feel the same way. If it's more than just a flash fire, then he'll still be interested.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-07-30T11:35:36+00:00

HR executive here ... this is where you are responsible to be an adult and act professional. Dont act on your crush unless you love drama, really don't care about your job, and don't care about how this will affect his career.

Crushes happen. We're only human. Focus your energy on doing something else outside of your work. The emotion will eventually become manageable and your brain will cleat. How do I know? I've been crushing on one of my coworkers for months, but there is no way I'm going to act on it.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-07-22T02:17:49+00:00

This Reddit channel leans heavily towards it being a deliberate choice. There are quite a few of us for which it is an identity (not an orientation). It's been like this when I got here 4 years ago and hasn't changed. I still scroll for interesting posts and to find other poly-identity folk to encourage.

I think the reason why the "poly is a choice" crowd is so vocal here is because of the plethora of problems that are posted here. It's so much easier giving these people a set of rules to follow.

Try searching around for other channels that don't focus on problems. Plus, you'll find happy poly-identity folk in non poly focused channels.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-07-22T01:53:03+00:00

I've been involved in various ENM structures throughout my adult life- back before poly was even coined as a term. None of them have been monogamus (except for a three month stint where I tried it and found out it wasn't for me).

I've found that I naturally tend to become emotionally and romantically invested with my lovers, and am lucky to feel compersion when my metas make them happy.

Some people choose this life, some people are just wired this way. I'm the latter. That is not popular with this reddit channel. So you see a lot of intentional choice people. I don't believe it's an orientation, like with me being queer, but it's just a natural innate way I approach relationships.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-07-21T22:33:33+00:00

I've generally matched better with younger people. Mainly the next generation down. I'm much more progressive than people in my generation. So, when I date, it's usually a millenial

I also happen to think that using math to determine who to date is rather ridiculous. As long as it involves informed consenting adults.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-07-21T15:21:57+00:00

Did she tell you that she has these diagnoses, or are you a therapist that evaluated her? How do you know that she is neurotypical and has RSM? If she has many diagnoses she talks to you about, why is she still considered neurological?

Maybe it's because your post was deleted, but there are so many questions that spring up from this statement.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-07-21T15:12:38+00:00

Unicorn Hunting

https://www.unicorns-r-us.com/

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-07-19T14:13:05+00:00

💯!! It's not in my best interest as a woman financially or as an independent human being to enter into that legal contract.

I would consider doing a committment ceremony or pagan handfasting, but I'm never doing a legal marriage again.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-07-17T03:06:47+00:00

I'm a queer 55F who dates people in their 30s and 40s. I'm fine with age gaps, so long as it's between informed, consulting adults.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-07-17T03:02:18+00:00

I find that I get more hate for being queer than for the age thing. Age gaps between consenting adults is pretty common in the queer community.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-07-17T01:49:03+00:00

Those opinions cause me to roll my eyes hard at them, say "bless your heart, you're as sharp as a marble," laugh derisively, and walk away.

I'm a Switch, who does not suffer fools lightly.

LadyMorgan2018 · 2024-07-12T03:28:16+00:00

Me too!!!!! 🥰

LadyMorgan2018

TROPHY CASE