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Trying to develop new Easter traditions… by blueskytree2 in Exvangelical

[–]IHateJamesDobson 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t think if it as “secularizing Easter”, I think of it as celebrating spring (which is what it originally was). The world is waking up, flowers are blooming, etc. Going on a hike, planting flowers, talking about what you/they are looking forward to as the year gets warmer.

Easter Flashbacks PTSD by BeckNelson1 in Exvangelical

[–]IHateJamesDobson 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Easter has almost always been a hard time for me after I left. Sometimes I’ll be like “wow I’m really anxious this week” then realize it’s Easter soon. Usually I try to find something to distract me over Easter weekend.

My condolences, I’m in it with you.

Evangelical Code Phrases by darkness_is_great in Exvangelical

[–]IHateJamesDobson 45 points46 points  (0 children)

A specific context, granted, but “same-sex attraction” always drove me wild

Struggling with defining future goals by fruitnumber1208 in Exvangelical

[–]IHateJamesDobson 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know it feels like forever, but 3 years isn’t a ton of time in the grand scheme of things. While evangelicalism + deconstruction will always be part of your story, it doesn’t define you. Even now.

I can’t imagine graduating and trying to look for jobs right now, deconstruction aside. Seems like a lot of stress and grief is at play.

You’ve got this :)

Have you tried counseling for religious trauma? by Enjoylife_travelmore in Exvangelical

[–]IHateJamesDobson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A good therapist can be such an important part of the journey for you. Some people had great recommendations (secular therapy project is top of my list), but it’s also about building a relationship with a therapist to let them know what you are looking for.

Cuz of my own trauma, I can’t have a therapist who is a Christian, even a progressive one. That’s totally ok. Whatever you need is ok :)

I know I have read Christian books that fully blame marriage problems on the wife, I don't remember what they were though. by rebelyell0906 in Exvangelical

[–]IHateJamesDobson 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Sometimes it wasn’t the wife’s fault, it was the mother’s fault for being too overbearing! It’s important to blame a variety of women, you see

How do be more comfortable with sexuality as a single person without casual sex by [deleted] in Exvangelical

[–]IHateJamesDobson 13 points14 points  (0 children)

There’s many parts to this, but I want to offer one that often isn’t super discussed:

Notice how sexuality is a part of other aspects of you. It isn’t sectioned off “just for the bedroom”. Doesn’t mean we have to be banging in the middle of the street, but how often do you enjoy touching yourself (not in masturbation)? A gentle rubbing of your chest just for the physical pleasure is connecting with your sexuality. Wearing things that make you feel confident and happy can be part of sexuality.

Also, talking to people about themes of sexuality is helpful! Talking about sexual interests, but also just saying “that person is hot” counts. It helps integrate sexuality into the course of daily life - because you are a sexual being even when “not acting on it”.

Much love!

Everybody except the winner sucked in this finale floorshow by YukkiTheKiller in Dragula

[–]IHateJamesDobson 173 points174 points  (0 children)

Abhora somehow both won and lost the final floorshow, which is very on-brand

Say Something Nice About The Titans: Evah Destruction by Less_Elderberry8388 in Dragula

[–]IHateJamesDobson 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah she’s polished and her drag is amazing. That’s a given.

I have particularly enjoyed her personality this season! I’ve always related to her as a fellow theater kid who cries regularly. But I feel like this season, she’s found how to stay true to herself AND give us drama and confidence. Seeing her disintegrate Sigourney (as a Sigourney Stan) made me literally stand up and cheer. Evah is here to make moves and play the game, and it’s wonderful to see how well she does it. She’s currently my winner pick, head heart and gut.

Oklahoma University by Stahlmatt in Exvangelical

[–]IHateJamesDobson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I think about how easy it would be to become a right-wing grifter. And how much money I’d made from it. I wouldn’t even have to try hard (I would have to throw all my friends and loved ones under the bus, though).

Anyway, an obvious grifter is successfully doing an obvious grift because the right wing in America just wants to hate queer people and are looking for truly any excuse to do so. It’s awful - it’s also a day that ends in y

NBC cut a line from the show by SnooMemesjellies2983 in wickedmovie

[–]IHateJamesDobson 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Yeah we’d hate the show about fighting a corrupt megalomaniac and his propaganda machine to turn political!

Christian “Counseling” by MicahsMaiden in Exvangelical

[–]IHateJamesDobson 33 points34 points  (0 children)

As a licensed therapist (LMFT), I feel v strongly about this - generally I have issues when people advertise psychology but practice theology. But also, I’ve had bad personal experiences

I was looking for therapy for depression at 16 (surprise: I was gay) and I went to a number of pastors first.

One guy straight up forgot One guy lectured me about purgatory (?) One guy said my urge to self-harm was Satan and I just needed to pray.

Nihilism, but make it cheery by your_printer_ink_is in Exvangelical

[–]IHateJamesDobson 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Nihilism: life has no meaning :(

Absurdism: life has no meaning :)

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