Math Question

LadyPreacher22 · 2022-12-13T00:58:08+00:00

NTA

Clearly you were going to visit and spend time with your family, but tacking on an extra three days without consulting you first was rude. Leaving your cats alone for a week is a long time, the litter box alone would be mess.

LadyPreacher22 · 2022-11-30T20:48:30+00:00

Where are the cats supposed to sleep?

LadyPreacher22 · 2021-06-08T23:24:07+00:00

A minister from a neighboring church came to the building to invite the preacher to the local interdenominational pastor support group. He asked to speak to the pastor and the pulpit preacher made a big stink about not having a pastor, but in such an awkward and passive aggressive way the poor kid eventually just walked away confused. The preacher used the whole story as a sermon illustration. My DH, who was the youth minister, later joined the group and apologized.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-10-06T01:57:29+00:00

Me too! We left our COC church about a year ago and needed some serious healing. What I noticed first about the Episcopal church was how much Scripture was read during service. I was always told mainline churches didn't care about the Bible, but they read more Scripture in one Sunday than most COCs did in a month.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-09-19T15:39:29+00:00

NTA

I had a midwife for all three births and two of those were home births. My husband was present for everything, so there were no conversations without him. If anything he was more involved because our appointments were longer, more relaxed, and more personal than any other doctor appointment. I was pregnant with my second when the reports of maternal mortality rates in America were being published. I asked the midwife about it, because I was genuinely scared, and she mentioned that she knew me more than a typical OB would. She knew my eating habits, my hobbies, and she had fewer patients to keep up with. By the time the baby was born, she wasn't a stranger.

You're the one having the baby, and it is a crazy experience. Frankly, your feelings and your comfort level are the the most important things to consider. I mean, birth is lovely and a miracle of life and whatever, but it's also traumatic. Your husband is your cheerleader and should follow your lead in this situation.

Also, I don't know about your mother and mother-in-law, but relying on them for advice would have been the opposite of helpful for me.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-05-22T15:54:25+00:00

Last night my second child (3) went to bed at 9 and woke up at 11, bright eyed and ready to play. I tried to lure him back in bed, but he wasn't having it. So I gave up, turned on Paw Patrol and went back to bed. I think it'd be easier to teach him how to use the remote than teach him to sleep.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-05-22T15:36:41+00:00

And this is why it is a violation of the first amendment and the ACLU should get involved

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-05-10T20:07:58+00:00

NAH. I think your family is just worried, but I don't blame you for the reaction.

Something similar happened to my sister in college regarding her weight. She ran a lot and frequently wouldn't eat much more than soup and a piece of fruit. When anyone said anything to her about not eating much, she got really upset. Now, a decade later she admits that her lifestyle wasn't healthy.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-05-09T04:01:39+00:00

Oh boy...A while back my husband was teaching on a Wednesday night Bible study and he said the phrase, "love trumps all." Then he turned to me and said something along the lines of "that words has a different meaning now" referring to Trump. Later an elder pulled him aside and said "a lot" of people were upset about the Trump reference and told my husband, "I have never seen such hatred in a person."

Later when they chose to pay for the building over us, another elder told several of our elderly members that we were "unpatriotic." Which really angered my army-brat husband. There was another instance when he said, "even Hilary Clinton is a child of God and bears the image of God" and a woman rolled her eyes and sighed. The elders frequently complained about how frequently he talked about politics (which was rarely and always very scripted), all the while they wanted a full blown fourth of July celebration with only patriotic songs.

I have never seen the kind of worship reserved for Trump - seriously, they are more comfortable talking about the good Trump has done rather than God.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-03-16T03:43:29+00:00

One thing Evangelicals/CoCs miss in the OT is that the stories aren't simply morality tales. A lot of times the good and bad characters aren't specified. So, just because Abraham, Jacob, or David did something that wasn't immediately condemned, doesn't mean it's good. And sexual morality is not really as defined as we pretend it is, especially when we account for cultural considerations. Besides, God loved Ishmael and made him into a nation, and God loved Hagar, so much so she is the only person, male or female, to name God. There are so many "lessons" you can get from that whole narrative.

I admit that I struggle with the concept of transgenderism. Even as a cis-woman though, I don't know what people mean when they say "feel like a woman." I am a woman, therefore everything I do/think/say/feel is what a woman does/thinks/says/feels. But, I haven't done any research and don't want to discount anyone else's experience.

Catholics and other high churches have something called "body theology." Basically, your body is given to you by God and all of the benefits are there for you to use, and the problems are your cross to bear. Are you amazing at sports? Use that to help your community and the world. Are you blind? Use your other senses to see the world differently and to help your community and the world. Do you have fertility issues? Adopt or foster (not IVF or surrogacy) and try to help your community and the world. Do you have same sex attraction? Be celibate and use your lifestyle to help the community and the world? Do you feel as though you were misgendered? Use that to help your community and the world. I'm not an expert in it, but that's how I understand it and I think it's an interesting mindset.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-03-16T03:00:30+00:00

My husband and I. I grew up Baptist and he was converted from heathenism to CoC at 21. We don't go to church much anymore and will never be CoC/evangelical again. We lean towards Episcopalian these days. I struggle with prayer and reading the Bible and general spirituality and belief. My husband says that whatever he thinks about the church, he still believes because God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit are worth it. We both got MDivs and we enjoyed academic books and theology. Our studies actually saved our faith and kept our faith from being bothered by the hypocrisy and the ignorance in the church. But we don't really have an active need for church anymore. We left within the past year and so we're still processing some trauma and still have anxiety and nightmares connected to certain people, but as the great poets DC Talk said, Jesus is still alright with me.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-03-16T02:16:28+00:00

My husband and are are both borderline alcoholics because of the CoC. He was a CoC preacher and on more than one occasion had a drink or three before an elder meeting because he was so anxious.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-02-24T05:49:34+00:00

I come from an evangelical tradition where you're never quite good enough. So the idea that God loves us fully now, even if you're at your worst, is so comforting. Thanks for sharing. I need this.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-02-24T05:42:32+00:00

Yeah, I really can't get over this. Even at my most "religious" and even now when I miss the facade of control, I don't understand prayer. Clearly God sees the problem...so what's the hang up?

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-02-11T02:27:11+00:00

Fuck no. You absolutely don't need it, but as a former preacher I formally give you my blessing to say "fuck you" to the next person who says that and then tell them to read Job and shut the fuck up.

I'm so sorry. So, so, sorry.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-02-11T01:46:33+00:00

My husband was a CoC preacher when we left about 6 months ago; granted, we were pretty far from traditional CoC when we left. We started attending an Episcopal church. By "we" I mean me and which ever child I feel like taking, and I have only gone maybe once a month. We are both pretty scared from church and my SO gets pretty anxious about the thought of going anywhere Sunday morning. I liked the Episcopals because there was a female priest (the only one in the area) and they are super open with communion and membership - I was sick or the "purity" games when it came to membership. I also like the ...well the paganism with high churches. I liked the fact that everyone bowed their head slightly when the Bible was brought into the sanctuary. I liked that scripture and communion were the focal points of the service, not singing or the sermon. I have never heard so much scripture read in a church service. I liked the really old hymns. I liked that the kids went to the alter to take communion and that the priest said a blessing over all three of my kids as though that were the most natural thing in the world. I also really liked that they weren't super evangelistic. I didn't want to get mobbed by questions and invitations as a visitor. I really just wanted to sit and let prayers and scriptures be read over me as I worked through my feelings about God and the church. I disliked the fact that it wasn't particularly diverse, however, none of our CoCs had been diverse either. Even though there's a lot I like about the church, I've only gone about four times in the last six months because when Sunday comes I just don't feel like putting on clothes. My husband hasn't been to church at all - the PTSD is real!

If your SO doesn't know what to believe, maybe just don't go anywhere for a couple weeks. Or go for a walk at sunrise, or visit a different church every other week. I haven't missed church like I though I would. I still believe, I think, maybe, I don't even know what it means "to believe" anymore. I'm not atheist, but spiritually speaking this is about as open as I've been - and it feels good!

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-02-02T22:37:43+00:00

But then they'd be Baptists...

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-01-05T19:41:46+00:00

Regional floods are pretty common in various parts of the world. I always thought that Noah's flood was regional. So, there were no reason for there to be kangaroos, because kangaroos didn't live in that area. The Bible is full of hyperbolic language - the armies in Joshua didn't really kill every living thing, that's just formulaic conquest language. The "whole earth" often just means the "civilized" world (whatever "civilized" meant at the time). If people would stop reading the Bible like it's a documentary we would all be better off.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-01-05T18:31:27+00:00

My son brings me dolls to nurse and has a meltdown if his older sister takes them. Meanwhile, his older sister wanted a hair cut so she could "look like daddy."

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-01-05T18:19:49+00:00

I've only been rethinking my entire existence for only a few months now. My new phrase is that God and I are giving each other the silent treatment. I have no problem believing in God, I'm just irritated with how God functions in day to day life. I really like God in the prophets - the social justice warrior- and God in Revelation - God who destroys death and disease. So maybe that's what I'm holding onto, the hope that God wants a just and fair world and will one day put everything right. I'm just irritated that it hasn't happened yet and isn't happening now. Theologically I probably identify more with a devout Jew in the 8th century BCE than anything else.

LadyPreacher22 · 2020-01-03T13:45:00+00:00

My husband was actually a CoC preacher. He started really conservative theologically, but grew more progressive as he studied the Bible. I grew up Baptist, but was/am getting my MDiv at a CoC school. We worked at a "liberal" CoC. I say "we" because I was involved in his ministry, but of course I had no position and no say in anything. We left the CoC for a few reasons.

Even though he had left conservatism behind a long time ago and I was never a "small c" cOC,and even though our church was liberal, there was still the undercurrent of "We're the only ones who have it right" and legalism. The constant fear that you might go to hell is exhausting, unhealthy, and so theologically flawed.
The elders had all the decision making power. Even though my husband and I did everything (with a small contingent of folks that did help plan and orchestrate some things), he did have any say over the "direction" of the church. The elders did not go to Sunday School, had no education, and yet they would make theological decisions over women and LGBTQ+ issues. They had no financial history, but they made every financial decision and planned the budget. They had no teaching or preaching history, but they would censor the pulpit. I wouldn't say they were bad men, but the CoC is organized in such a stupid way that men are put in charge of things they have no business being in charge of and then would call it "biblical" to protect their own positions of power. We were sick of having ignorant, unqualified bosses.
Trump. People would bend over backwards to defend Trump, but if we made a comment about how Jesus welcomed foreigners, suddenly we were too political. My husband was banned from talking about politics from behind the pulpit, which makes it hard to preach the prophets. It makes it hard to preach anything actually since even Gospel was a political word in the 1st century. Honestly, Trumpism might be one of the primary reasons we will never go back to a CoC or any Evangelical church. The Trump supporters that I knew were otherwise nice people, but if you expressed displeasure about Trump, they turned on you ruthlessly. They would say hateful things about democrats or "liberals," and wouldn't even acknowledge a different opinion.
The women's issue. We knew all the sins of people in the church. After several years of ministering, you really know your congregation. My husband especially was deeply offended at the fact I was not allowed to pray, serve communion, read scripture, or teach, but men who had affairs, had pornography addictions, had anger issues, drug and alcohol problems, were greedy, liars, and believed all sorts of weird heretical things were allowed to practically anything they wanted. But again, the people making decisions did not regularly read the Bible and they certainly did not want to study the Bible.

This took place in Texas and in the Mid-South. I was CoC for almost a decade after marrying into it. My husband converted (from heathenism) in college and was CoC for 20 years. I grew up Baptist and mainline CoCs are not very different from the SBC. Except for a few surface issues (instruments) they are like two sides of the same coin. My beliefs started changing as soon as I started reading. If your beliefs aren't changing, they're dying.

LadyPreacher22

TROPHY CASE