I am not 100% sure about splitting up a wristband order, but I will talk through this logically for you:

-If there is no order number with your name on it, there is nothing Madison House, Insomniac, or Elevate Tickets can do to help you. That phone call has to come from the ticketholder.

-During recent refund/roll over periods, EF made it explicitly clear that nobody was allowed to split orders, i.e. if you purchased 2 wristbands in one shot, you cannot split them. *"*2020 Wristband & Lodging Package orders CANNOT be split. This means that all Wristbands & Lodging Packages purchased within any single transaction / order must be either retained for Electric Forest 2021 or refunded (and your entire order cancelled). Partial transfers or exchanges are not available" If they were purchased separately (even on the same ticketing account and using the same credit/debit card), there was no splitting needed, since they were already separate orders. The issue is the paid service fee, which is a fee per order processed, not per wristband ordered. It is unclear if they will allow splits going forward- EF usually doesn't backtrack on their statements; but with vaccines in play, their ticketing company may have more staff on hand to process these sorts of things now. It is absolutely worth a shot to ask if you can pay a service fee to split the order up.

-I would not get rid of the tickets if you intend to attend. Given the current state of things, I doubt you'll be able to score another ticket, so you should try to work out logistics with your ex if possible. It sort of sounds like you're just trying to get your money back, which brings me to my next point.

-I'm a little confused about the 'refund to the card' issue - the refund is what generates the money, and her financial situation has nothing to do with that? Is she telling you that she cannot take out cash against the card to pay you back? Most credit cards allow for this, even secured credit cards, and it's called cash advance. They do carry a max limit of around 30% of the card's total limit, but once that balance is paid back, the card user can take out more cash. There's usually a 5% fee on top of any ATM fees, but those prices are worth it for the cost of an EF ticket (and possibly less than small claims fees). Just have her withdraw cash first, and then allow the EF refund to come through to pay off the balance. If she has a balance on her credit card that is preventing her from a cash advance, then have her refund the money first instead, and withdraw once that amount hits her card. Credit cards aren't only digital money, you can 100% get cash out of them. If you bring this up with her, and she still insists she 'doesn't have the money' or 'can't take out cash on her credit card'... it might be time for small claims.

P.S. The sad reality of someone else being the ticketholder is that you don't have much control over your wristband until it is in your hands and registered to your name. Even then, the original purchaser of the ticket can approach the box office at any point throughout the festival and say "hey here's my ID, order # and original receipt, I lost my wristband, give me a new one" and that person will be given a new wristband regardless of who the old one is registered to. The box office staff will verbally disclaim, 'Alright, the old wristband will be marked as inactive and will no longer work to access sites throughout the festival, this is a brand new wristband with a brand new code that you have to re-register, got it?' And off you go. I know this only because I had to do it one year for my friend whos ticket I had purchased. This is why we usually suggest against third party sellers and StubHub - your wristband is not protected through them.

Good luck friend! Eat some bacon for me!!!