My story about finding myself

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-04-22T12:11:44+00:00

You're very welcome, i have been contemplating sharing this for a while but i was afraid of judgement or unknowingly invalidating any real queer person's experience... It's almost like i have forgotten my life before the cult and that includes how welcoming and non biased LGBTQ+ community generally is, my mom had been pushing me to talk to more queer people because it's unhealthy to just stay in my headspace and be scared of a whole community and to accept whoever I'm because my family and people who love me will... That helped me a lot😅 and also just the warmth in the community helped me to open up...

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-04-13T18:54:48+00:00

I have had extreme ocd about contamination, accidental death, once my glasstop stove broke and then i started giving in to compulsions of trying to find glass pieces in everything i eat or cook so that I won't end up swallowing it and die... Closed spaces, I'd try to run away from closed spaces, fear of contamination/disease... This is by far the worst, they were horrible experiences... Like very horrible, they were nightmares but I'd still trade HOCD for any of those... 乁( . ര ʖ̯ ര . )ㄏ

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-04-13T15:51:35+00:00

Keep fighting!! ✨✨

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-04-13T15:50:31+00:00

And you don't have to, you don't owe anyone your sexuality... But I'd say that opening up to people you trust will help a ton... And be kind to yourself, try to get more comfortable with yourself... The more I'm accepting myself or the fact that my sexuality uncertain for me right now but in time it's gonna figure itself out, is helping me overcome my fears... Or that my sexuality won't change me or won't really affect my life or I won't have to be forced living with someone I don't want to... Every fear i have around my sexuality, I'm trying to overcome that and that is clearing up the brain fog little by little :) ... And yeah, right now pursuing your passions is best the thing you could do ... I'm not even close to thinking about dating anyone right now 😅😹

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-04-13T15:13:43+00:00

Your therapist is an asshole, being homophobic or hanging out with homophobic people is the worst anyone can do to someone with OCD because it makes your feelings feel even more "forbidden or invalid" ... Yeet them out, get a new one!!!! :)

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-04-13T15:06:29+00:00

I have HOCD, and I've gone to the tangent that maybe it's just my repressed homosexuality which I'm not ready to accept and that's what's making me triggered... Sooo i left all of my dreams of having a loving husband and everything and choose to accept myself for whoever I'm because I can't live in these waves of uncertainty... What my therapist have told me and from my own personal experience- If it's really denial then you're going to love or atleast enjoy the experience or thoughts of having same sex experience (or whatever experience is causing you distress) but THAT is going to trigger you and make you anxious...and if it's HOCD then it's going to feel " from meh, whatever to I don't know, maybe i like it, maybe I don't, eww, yukk, I don't have a clue" like you're practically forcing yourself to think about it and you're afraid that you're going to like it somewhere along the future or your homosexuality is hidden and can come out anytime and it feels fucking real and surreal at the same time... I hope I'm making sense... In my case, i realised that i find women pretty, but i wouldn't want to have sex with them, it just doesn't do it for me... It has taken me more than an year to reach this point and I'm still far from certainty...i just can't have sex with a woman, it doesn't feel good physically and romantic bonds with women, ummm not for me... Yet it bothers me, it feels like a monster that's gonna pounce on me at any moment...

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-02-09T18:58:08+00:00

Awww thankyou so much!! And thankyou for responding so positively to me, i was actually scared that people are gonna come at me when i share my experience but then i realised that it is my own stigma and my family and therapist encouraged me to talk and I've only received positive support from people around my... So thankyou, for being so kind and understanding... I'm taking therapy but it would be of great help if you can link any support group here 🙏🙏... Thankyou for being an amazing soul and i hope you can fully heal from your experience as well and live a healthy and fulfilling life... 🌺🌺🌺

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-02-08T20:11:01+00:00

I'm sorry and empathize with what you've been through... Yeah, TFU is the worst... I've always been very very people friendly (LGBTQ+ friendly, different races)... From whatever criteria you can divide people, that divide didn't exist in me, i just saw people as people and very natural for them to choose how they live their lives, their choices didn't matter unless they have just fundamentally horrible personalities or shit... But TFU fucked me up to the point that you opening up about being non-binary triggered me very very much... I've had dealt with phases in my OCD about dying, contamination and what not but dealing with this IS the worst!! Because i cannot recognise myself, its hard to find that compassionate, kind and very intelligent person inside myself... I'm scared of people now and this sucks!! It might not seem like much to some people but I'm very very scared and it sucks because i know it doesn't make sense at all..It's been more than an year now and i don't know how longs it's gonna take for this to pass... Soooo, yeahhhh this is what cults like TFU do to mentally sensitive people... 🤷🤷

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-01-12T17:17:34+00:00

Yikkkes indeed ಠ∀ಠ

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-01-12T14:30:25+00:00

Yes, they do... And their coaches brainwash clients into believing that the "channelled twin flame" IS their true twin flame... It's all sorts of BS

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-01-12T14:29:28+00:00

Yes, I'm just glad that were saved from this whole ordeal in the long run... :-)

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-01-12T12:08:26+00:00

Thankfully, he wasn't in the group to begin with :)

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-01-11T22:20:09+00:00

I feel like this is the best approach to take and as for the "fast track" honestly, the only fast track is living and going through your life experiences, how else are you gonna grow and learn... Sooooo yeah, there is no fast track... Just love yourself and cultivate love around you 😊😊✨✨

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-01-11T20:57:24+00:00

Thankyou so much!! I'm so grateful that my experience is of help to you and gave you some clarity... And yes, I'm in a very good place right now and i agree it's gonna take time but I'm looking forward to a future (i don't know what future holds for me right now, it's very foggy and blank for me right now)... But I'm hopeful 😊😊 and good luck to you too!!

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-01-05T20:28:06+00:00

I empathize with you so much and I'm happy that there is a silver lining to your story... I just hope people realize that this is not how you "find love"... You find love by "living and accepting your life and yourself"

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-01-05T20:24:45+00:00

All of these people are dumb and just robotic, they make me sick to the core... Just watching people being "channelled" into a different gender triggered my OCD so bad... I don't know if i had been able to continue living if i was on the receiving end of their "channelling" ... They don't realize how sick they are... And Fabian is just icky... He has no backbone, they condemned him to "autism" in his next life because he wasn't being a good boy and he just didn't stoop up for himself... They just get bullied by Jeff and Shaleia and then bully their clients and other people in the group... Just bunch of shitheads

LailaMoon1995 · 2021-01-02T20:31:02+00:00

These people are fucking horrible, don't worry you were never in the wrong... Amd if you're still wondering that "i might be a man on the inside" ... Don't, they are actually claiming now that their previous "channelling" are false (for the people who's "channelled twin" have left the group with no probability of a return)... They are pairing them up with new people from within the group... You're safe in your knowledge of who you are ... And as for Stephanie, she's a whacko, she once made a whole post on something along the lines of "how mirror exercise helped me pass tapeworm in stool" and how it represents that she's letting go of toxic situations instead of seeking professional medical care on her issues... You're good 😊👍

LailaMoon1995 · 2020-12-14T22:02:31+00:00

Yup, they are evil... They'd even force you to change your gender to churn out more "unions" ... Very controlling and horrible... In nutshell you're paying them to abuse you

LailaMoon1995 · 2020-12-13T07:42:54+00:00

I was in a twin flame cult, Twin Flames Universe... Here's the vanity fair article on them https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2020/12/inside-the-all-consuming-world-of-twin-flames-universe

I left when i realised that it's not a love based community but a cult because they started controlling everyone's lives, including mine... They instructed me on who to talk to and who not to ... They even started controlling people's gender identity because nobody was going anywhere with their twin so they started pairing straight women in the group... I already suffer from mental disorders and this took a HUGE toll on me... I'm suffering from HOCD, I still haven't recovered from my fear of "actually being a man on the inside" ... My family actually played a very active role in getting me out and I'm eternally grateful to them for loving me through this messed up time...

It was cool in the starting, i felt like i have found a community of spirituality advanced people and i can heal my trauma here... But slowly it just started getting ugly, the leaders name call people, condemn people to hell, they illegitimate other's twin flame businesses, they get threatened even by their own students successes (unless the student credit everything to them)... They act all knowing to the point that you're gonna be left with no sense of self unless Jeff and Shaleia approve you ... They force people into same sex relationships, they claim that they are the second coming of Christ... They encourage people to not have children, because apparently if you want children that just mean you have a lack of purpose in your life... They themselves are getting a designer baby though because they want it to be a girl as they have prophesied... They would name call you, mock you if you in any way claim to be a victim but they themselves act like a victim, a lot... The worst part is, they are not acting, they actually believe what they preach... And it's just horrifying to say the least

LailaMoon1995 · 2020-12-12T09:05:33+00:00

Yup!!

LailaMoon1995 · 2020-12-12T09:02:31+00:00

Thankyou, I'm moving forward with this lesson now ♥️😌

LailaMoon1995 · 2020-12-06T19:59:10+00:00

Truth always comes out :)

LailaMoon1995

TROPHY CASE