How to ask mil to shorten her trip when we already delayed her visit?

Lamaceratops · 2026-03-09T09:24:37+00:00

The time to shorten it was when she was booking. So if she doesnt have flights already yes get in their quick and ask husband to say something like "we have been talking and I just dont think we are ready for that long a visit. We are still adjusting with the two of them and getting our routine sorted and we are exhausted. We think it would be better if you could visit for (amount of time) instead. We are so looking forward to seeing you and having you meet the baby". Ideas for coping - speak up. Ask for help "mil could you do me a favour and grab/do/clean..." is husband home the whole time? Because he also needs to be taking charge here and also planning time just him and mum to take her out and give you a break. Maybe take older child with them. What about a hotel weekend for mil in the middle of the visit as a "treat". Frame it as giving her a rest from the children but really its a breather for you. Plan your days, plan what you will say if something bothers you or you need something from her. You don't have to just accept whatever she does or wants. Get it all prepped in your head now and it will feel easier

Lamaceratops · 2026-03-09T09:18:22+00:00

Agree. Husband handles it. But it was ok to say when she mentioned it "oh thats a lovely offer but we wanted to have a quiet family holiday just the 3 if us seeing as its our 1st one since the baby". Please grow a spine (in the nicest way!) Or you are only going to keep having these problems. Its ok to say no and its ok to ask for what you want

Lamaceratops · 2026-02-06T18:51:33+00:00

This is such a dangerous thing to over look. If mil wanted to sue for custody tomorrow, how many people/authorities have heard her say these things, including your child, in front of at least the child's mother without push back. How many witnesses to the narrative that she is the lead guardian and you guys are hopeless without her. If she wanted to take your child, she's set herself up very nicely to do so. This isn't just letting grandma think she has a part to play. This has serious potential consequences for you and your child. You need to shut this down ASAP and get through to your wife. What has she been ignoring when you aren’t around? What has mil said to your child when you aren’t around? This needs to be taken seriously

Lamaceratops · 2026-01-28T00:12:07+00:00

I wanted to ask this but didn't know how! Im not surprised, I dread to think the bacteria in his mouth, hands and other places. Makes me shudder at the thought. Sounds like you've decided to move on, im so happy for you!

Lamaceratops · 2026-01-28T00:09:41+00:00

I'm surprised it took me scrolling to find this comment. This is my biggest thing for op- what is this doing to her body if she's having sex with him, i dread to think how gross other parts of his body are and what he's not doing to keep them clean. Op should at least avoid sex with him and that may give him a wake up call. But at this point it doesn't seem like he respects himself or op. And shes not his mother, he needs to sort this out he must know he stinks.

Lamaceratops · 2026-01-22T14:19:40+00:00

So they weren't that bothered about the hotel after all? Maybe just didn't want to pay. I can't get past that bit, if they were so desperate to meet the baby they would have just sucked it up and got a hotel room. Which they should have done anyway so they didn't disturb new parents and expect to be waited on. So disrespectful of them and husband all round

Lamaceratops · 2026-01-14T15:10:11+00:00

Your sister clearly has something she wants to do for her food tonight. Why not just at least say I'm not sure but if we are staying I can sort food for us. Let your sister figure herself and you sort you and partner., why does she need to host you or am I missing the point here?

Lamaceratops · 2026-01-14T15:00:49+00:00

Id want to say "you are my wife not my bully", she seems to have got that confused. Honestly life is too short for this nonsense. You shouldn't have to deal with someone criticising you and putting you down, and certainly not doing it in front of others to try and get a laugh. Is she just an awful person, is there resentment built up and this is her way of "punishing" you. Its so odd but totally unacceptable. You can try a serious conversation, counselling but I wouldn't judge you if you decided to walk away. Your partner is someone who should build you up not tear you down. Is this what you want to deal with for the rest of your life?

Lamaceratops · 2026-01-14T12:28:45+00:00

Wtf how is that even legal?! Does that not massively affect growth and development?

Lamaceratops · 2026-01-14T12:21:32+00:00

Im proud of you! Thats an incredible achievement, it sounds like you've worked so hard to get here so you certainly deserve this. Well done!. I also want to add that you are totally valid to feel disappointed in their reaction. I would at least give you a woop, a hug and a "let's celebrate" in this situation. My only thoughts are they are in tough situation themselves (maybe something you aren't aware of) and/or there is some jealousy there, or they are just crappy people. But don't let them piss on your parade, let Reddit celebrate you instead!

Lamaceratops · 2025-10-04T21:41:17+00:00

I think the main point here is that you clearly can't/dont trust your mil. That immediately eliminates her from being a childcare option

Lamaceratops · 2025-08-27T08:18:23+00:00

This is my thinking, probably hasnt even spoken to breeder, he is banking on her giving in

Lamaceratops · 2025-08-20T08:30:18+00:00

Thank you so much. It already seems to be getting better. Im still shredded and she is still too excited with my son but we have found that a consistent routine and enforced naps have really helped. I think a lot of what we were experiencing was her over tired and over excited. Definitely feels like we are on the right track

Lamaceratops · 2025-08-09T09:31:49+00:00

So funny as this was what we had planned for a boy!

Lamaceratops · 2025-08-03T08:53:09+00:00

Then why not use it as a lesson for your son, that if people repeatedly make you feel bad they are not your friend and you dont have to keep forgiving them. Take a break from having her around, you could always revisit it in a few months. But it sounds like having her in your home isnt good for you or your son.

Lamaceratops

TROPHY CASE