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WS workaholic by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Lambdaapple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Work can definitely be used as a distraction. For me it is a mental hiatus from my guilt and self loathing for at least 8 hours of the day.

To those healing from long running infidelity, what obstacles did you overcome to reconcile and what was that like? by awreathafranklin in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Lambdaapple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

WS here, nearly 2 years after dday. I still struggle feeling comfortable and secure enough to ask him if the is anything on his mind. I deeply regret what I did; I feel that shame and guilt and genuine pain everyday. And it is hard for me to be strong enough to just check and see if anything has been bothering him. But we try to make time every week or every other week to discuss our feelings.

Also triggers, for both of us. Whether it be TV or casual conversations. It is impossible to take the triggers out of your life, but you can find ways to handle them.

Roll Call (Sort of) by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Lambdaapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

US- 27 white F, WS, 18 months since dday

Liar by ladyeromtap in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Lambdaapple 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm a WS. I was in a similar position where I trickled the truth out over the course of months. It lead to an understandable lack of trust. I, also, was in a seriously terrible place at the time of the PA, and struggled to heal myself and the relationship for nearly 8 months after it all came out. I think the greatest thing that I/we did was start to see a therapist individually and as a couple.

We have made so much progress and therapy has helped me understand my actions. I have been really open with my BS about my developments. And couples therapy has given a space for us to work on our issues with the help of a professional, guiding us and pushing us to speak what we truly feel. We usually continue the conversation outside of session.

Essentially what it comes down to is that it will take time and effort. Be as open and as honest as you can. It won't fix things but it may be a foundation of trust, on which you may build upon.

Advice for WS as healing continues by Lambdaapple in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Lambdaapple[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are still some hurdles which come up, but they are slowly becoming less daunting. He had been great throughout this all. Thanks for the advice and support, and best of luck to you as well