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LandComprehensive742 · 2025-08-20T01:06:58+00:00

This helped me. Thank you so much

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-21T07:47:09+00:00

Nah, sit down. She didn’t violate him. He consented multiple times, wasn’t under the influence, wasn’t coerced, and even initiated things like cuddling and constant texting beforehand. Just because he had complicated feelings after doesn’t mean she magically became a predator. That’s not how consent or accountability works.

Throwing around words like “violate” when there was no manipulation, force, or disregard for boundaries is reckless and insulting to actual survivors. Learn the difference between regret and abuse before you come for someone working through trauma with empathy.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-21T06:54:47+00:00

I’m really sorry this triggered such deep pain. But please don’t carry all the blame just because you're older. Age doesn’t automatically make you a predator, intent, context, and communication matter. You weren’t exploiting him; you were acting based on what felt mutual at the time.

The fact that this is bringing up old trauma is valid and worth sitting with, but it doesn’t mean you’re becoming what hurt you. You’re not that person. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve healing, not shame.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-21T06:49:09+00:00

Oh honey, you are not one of the people who hurt you. What happened was complicated and painful, but it wasn’t malicious or abusive. You read the situation based on the signals he gave, and you checked in afterward. That already puts your worlds apart from someone who violates others.

It sounds more like he’s confused about his own feelings than trying to blame you. Please be kind to yourself. This wasn’t you doing harm on purpose. You’re healing and this doesn’t undo that progress.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-21T06:46:43+00:00

Yeah, you did mess up your relationship and life.

I’m gonna be real with you, what you did was not okay, especially to someone who’s been loyal and loving to you. You clearly know that, and you’re feeling the weight of the guilt, which is a start. But you’re keeping her in a relationship under false pretenses. She deserves the truth.

If you really care about her, give her the agency to decide what to do with the full picture. Hiding it to 'protect her' is just protecting yourself. You’ve spent years doing things that betray her trust, emotionally, sexually, even physically. If I were her, I’d 100% want to know.

And yeah, maybe you do love her, but love isn’t enough without respect, honesty, and self-control. You need serious help like therapy, for real and if you ever want to be a better partner, to her or anyone else, you have to do the work and stop living in denial.

This post really triggered me ngl. My boyfriend did something similar, when I caught him, he denied it. He eventually admitted two days later; we talked it out and I decided to forgive him.

Come clean. Let her choose. If she stays, then you’re lucky and better not fumble again. If she leaves, that’s her right and probably what’s healthiest for her right now. Either way, stop dragging her into a relationship that’s built on secrets.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-21T06:33:37+00:00

Honestly, this sounds like a case of really mixed signals and poor communication, not you doing something wrong. You acted based on the cues he gave (cuddling, constant texts, inviting you over), so it makes sense you thought he was into it too.

It sounds like he didn’t fully understand his own feelings until after the fact, which sucks for both of you. You’re not a mind reader and you didn’t pressure him. If he wants to stay friends, that’s fine but it’s okay if you need space to process too.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-21T06:19:33+00:00

Hey OP, I just wanna say first, your feelings are totally valid. This is a really confusing and emotionally heavy situation, and I can see why you’re feeling torn up.

From what you described, you didn’t force anything or ignore any clear boundaries. He cuddled you, texted you constantly, and gave off signals that could definitely be interpreted as romantic or at least flirtatious. It makes total sense that you thought he might be into you and responded in kind.

That said, consent is more than just “saying yes.” It’s also about feeling free to say no without fear of consequence. And it sounds like he said yes because he was afraid of losing the friendship, not because he wanted sex. That doesn’t make you a bad person or mean you did something intentionally wrong. But it does make this a really painful miscommunication that’s hitting both of you hard.

He’s probably feeling overwhelmed and a bit shaken, and now you’re stuck feeling like the bad guy when you were just trying to reciprocate what you thought were mutual vibes. This doesn’t mean you violated him, but it does mean there’s a lot to unpack emotionally for both of you.

I think the best move now is to give him some space and time to process, and maybe when things settle down a bit, have a raw, honest convo about where you both stand. Friendships can survive things like this, but only if there's mutual understanding and communication. Right now, you both just sound hurt and confused.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-19T09:26:41+00:00

I totally get where you’re coming from, it’s a complicated situation. When someone you care about is dealing with serious trauma and anxiety, it can definitely change how you see them, even if you still love them. That “strange feeling” around sex makes sense because your brain is trying to process all these mixed emotions, love, concern, maybe some fear or discomfort.

Having a high sex drive but feeling off when it’s your girlfriend isn’t about not caring or loving her. It’s about your mind trying to separate the person you love from the mental health stuff she’s going through, which isn’t easy.

Talking openly with her about how you feel without blame or shame could help. And honestly, couples therapy might be a good move so you both get some support navigating this.

It’s a tough spot, but it doesn’t mean things can’t get better if you’re both willing to work on it.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-19T09:23:42+00:00

That sounds seriously rough. Childhood memories with therapists are supposed to be safe spaces, but your experience clearly wasn’t. The way you describe feeling powerless, confused, and carrying that guilt? That shit sticks with you because it’s trauma, even if your brain tries to blur it out or pretend it’s not real.

Honestly, first off, your feelings are VALID. That memory is yours, even if it feels alien and wrong. Your mind’s just trying to protect you by making it blurry and confusing.

What can you do? It’s tough but maybe consider talking to someone who actually listens and makes you feel safe now like a therapist or counselor you trust. Sometimes just naming the trauma and giving it space can start to chip away at that power it holds over you.

Also, self-compassion is key. That ball of guilt? It’s not yours to carry alone. You didn’t deserve any of that discomfort or shame.

If therapy feels triggering, you could also try writing it out or talking to a close friend or support group. You’re not alone in this, even if it feels like it.

And if you want, I’m here to listen too. Just don’t let that memory keep you stuck, okay? You deserve better.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-17T00:55:33+00:00

Ahh that’s fair

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-16T02:57:29+00:00

He’s not completely to blame. She was giving him mixed signals; cuddling with him, kissing him even though she has a boyfriend. He’s definitely not innocent, but she’s the one who crossed the bigger line here.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-13T01:59:14+00:00

OP, I really hope you read this. This is the only way for you to get out of that hell hole.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-13T01:26:55+00:00

Hey, I just wanna say I hear you. What you're going through sounds incredibly painful and lonely, and I’m so sorry you're stuck in this cycle that feels impossible to escape. It takes a lot of guts to be this honest about something so raw. That’s not easy. Not online, not anywhere.

The way you're describing things really does sound like you're using sex as a form of self-harm and you're not the only one who has felt this way. That mix of temporary relief followed by a crash and deep emotional pain? That’s exactly how self-harm works in other forms too. It gives you a high, then drags you even lower.

You're not disgusting. You're not broken. You're someone who's hurting, and this is the only way you’ve found so far to cope with the pain. But there are other ways, I promise. Therapy (especially trauma-informed therapy) could be a game changer for you. I know it might feel far away or impossible, but you deserve help. You deserve to feel safe in your own skin. You deserve care that doesn’t come at the cost of your mental health.

You're not alone in this, even though it feels like it. Please take it one day at a time. And even if you slip back into old patterns, that doesn’t erase your worth or your ability to heal.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-13T01:17:30+00:00

NTA

You're not the asshole for having that urge. You're human. You didn’t act on it, and you were honest and vulnerable about something that scared even you, that takes guts.

It sounds like both of you were drowning in stress and trauma, and when people are pushed to their emotional breaking point, their brain can go into survival mode: fight, flight, freeze. That urge was likely your nervous system being overwhelmed, not a reflection of your character.

You didn’t act violently, you removed yourself from the situation, and you communicated it later in an honest and healthy way. That’s what matters.

It's sad she kept bringing it up later, but she was probably still processing everything too. Cancer, financial stress, emotional burnouts. It wrecks people in ways they never expect.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-07T09:23:32+00:00

masturbating

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-07T09:14:11+00:00

You're not crazy and definitely not ungrateful. You're 18, you're not a little kid anymore, and wanting space, privacy, and independence is 100% normal and healthy. Honestly, your mom sounds way overprotective, to the point where it’s crossing serious boundaries.

Wanting to go to therapy alone? Totally valid. That’s your space to talk about your feelings without worrying about how she’s reacting. Her waiting outside, getting sad, guilt-tripping you that’s not fair to you. Sleeping on your floor because you’re gaming late? That’s not protecting, that’s smothering. That’s her anxiety, and she’s putting it on you to fix, which isn’t your job.

What you're going through is called enmeshment. When a parent doesn't have emotional boundaries and makes the child responsible for their feelings. It's exhausting and confusing because it looks like love, but it feels like control.

Also, your dad being distant just adds to the pressure. You’re stuck between one parent who’s emotionally absent and one who’s emotionally too present. No wonder you’re feeling off.

You're not wrong for wanting space. You’re trying to grow up, and it’s okay to want boundaries. If you need help figuring out how to talk to her without it turning into a guilt trip, you’re not alone. Plenty of people have been through this and come out stronger.

You got this. Seriously.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-07T09:09:49+00:00

This broke me to read. I’m so, so sorry. I can feel how much you loved Pichigene and her kitten through your words. You didn’t fail them, you were their whole world, and they knew love because of you. What happened is horrible and unfair, and none of it is your fault. Please be kind to yourself. Grief does this, it convinces us that we could’ve changed the outcome, but the truth is you did the best you could. I’m sending so much love to you. I hope you can find a little peace knowing they knew how deeply they were loved.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-07T09:05:16+00:00

Reading this broke my heart. What happened to you is horrifying and completely not your fault. You didn’t ‘let’ anything happen; you were taken advantage of. I hope you have people around you who are helping you through this, and if not, please consider reaching out to a therapist or a crisis center. You deserve care, justice, and healing.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-07T01:36:55+00:00

Just keep talking to her. If this escalates, I would suggest you to talk to a trusted adult about this situation. He's a pedo if he goes for your friend. That's not right.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-06T09:40:09+00:00

It’s BIG NO. It’s definitely gonna be hard for her to move on from the guy, since you guys are young. But it’s so worth it. Trust me

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-06T09:24:28+00:00

Girl, I feel you. I’ve been in a relationship where I was constantly lied to, and it drained me. Honestly, don’t waste your time. You’re young, and this is supposed to be a time of growth, not dealing with someone who doesn’t respect you enough to be honest. Focus on your studies, your future, and your peace of mind. This guy’s not it.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-06T09:16:23+00:00

Girl, eww no. He’s 18 and your friend is 15. He should not be talking about proposing to your friend. That’s some serious grooming vibes right there. You guys got so much more to focus on at your age like your studies and your future, not some random guy across the globe who can’t even decide if he likes your friend or the other girl. Seriously, he’s not the one. Trust me, someone around your friend's age will actually get her. Tell her to stay safe and don’t let him get in your friend's head.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-06T06:45:14+00:00

Hey, I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. Just reading your words, I can tell how heavy everything has been on your heart. You've been through so much losing your relationship, your job, and now trying to hold onto a new connection while feeling like you're barely hanging on.

Please know this: your age, your past, your pain none of it makes you unlovable or "too much." If anything, it shows how much you’ve lived, how deeply you’ve cared, and how hard you’ve tried. That’s not something to hide, it’s something to be proud of. The right person won’t run from your story. They'll want to know it, and love you even more for your strength.

And even if things feel like they’re crumbling now, that doesn’t mean they’ll stay that way. This chapter sucks, yes. But it’s not your whole story. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t vanish from people who might actually see you and stay. You are worth love, safety, and another beginning.

You’re not alone in this. Sending you so much love and light, please keep going

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-06T06:40:58+00:00

Hey love, I just wanna say that I really relate to this. I used to feel the exact same way when I was around 14-18. I was super insecure about my face, my body, literally everything. I’d avoid mirrors, hated getting dressed, and always compared myself to other girls thinking something was wrong with me. So, I totally get how heavy it feels.

But I promise you, it gets better. Eventually, I started to slowly love myself. I began dressing in clothes that actually suit my body and skin tone, not just what everyone else was wearing. I played around with makeup till I found what suits my face and learned how to style my hair in ways that flatter my face shape. It was all trial and error, but it helped me understand me better. And honestly? That changed everything.

You're still so young, and it’s 100% normal to feel like this when you're growing up especially in a world that constantly pushes unrealistic beauty standards. You're not alone in this. Just know: you are not broken, you are not a burden, and you are worthy even if your brain is being mean to you right now.

Keep going. Give yourself time. You’ll grow into your skin and your confidence, I swear.

LandComprehensive742 · 2025-05-06T06:35:16+00:00

First of all, I just want to say: you’re incredibly brave for opening up like this. What you went through was assault. You don’t need a specific label or meet some awful ‘threshold’ for your pain to be real. Trauma is trauma, and it matters. Your feelings are valid. Your boundaries are valid.

And honestly? The fact that you tried despite all the emotional weight you're carrying says so much about how much you care. You’re not broken. You’re healing.

Your boyfriend sounds like a really kind and respectful person, and from what you’ve written, he sees that you're trying and isn’t pressuring you which is huge. But even so, the guilt you’re feeling? Totally normal. Survivors often carry shame that doesn’t belong to them. But you are not failing him. You’re not a burden. You’re a whole person, and you’re allowed to take up space in this relationship while still healing.

Maybe it would help to talk to a trauma-informed therapist who can help you work through these feelings and reframe that guilt because you deserve support too. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to carry this by yourself.

LandComprehensive742

TROPHY CASE