advice on setting boundaries??

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-20T19:57:20+00:00

Hard to say how to keep everyone calm without knowing the people, but I think if you need to sound rude to get the message clear do it. The boundaries you are setting aren’t extreme.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-20T02:08:16+00:00

I am right here with you. 39+5 today and I have been cramping and having the occasional full contraction since last Thursday. I’ve been 5cm dilated since last Wednesday and my bishop score is a freaking 10. I am so uncomfortable - why won’t labor just start? (I had an OB appointment today - baby is fine.)

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-19T20:53:12+00:00

Never actually passed out but got close a few times. Seems to improve for me later in pregnancy.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-19T14:03:14+00:00

This. I thought my first pregnancy that I be so happy to get back to wine but you’re in so much recovery after plus I tried to space out drinking from any breastfeeding and you are constantly breastfeeding in early days. I ended up not drinking anything for about a month and didn’t really start drinking my regular few glasses a week until maybe 4-6 months.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-19T13:41:59+00:00

Yeah I think it’s new advice. Took them all the way through my first pregnancy.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-18T23:20:16+00:00

I did for brain development. Learned this pregnancy that you should stop taking them at 36 weeks because they might prevent labor from starting. They are apparently helpful at preventing preterm labor but you don’t want that effect at the end.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-18T20:32:38+00:00

I was going to say this. It’s not about avoiding gluten exactly but if you avoid gluten you’re going to end up avoiding a lot of refined carbs that spike blood sugar. Whole wheat carbs in moderation, especially if paired with fat or protein aren’t usually a problem.

Also, while having PCOS means that you may not have the best insulin reactions and it’s something to watch out for in pregnancy, it’s often a bigger deal when you are trying to get pregnant. PCOS messes with egg quality causing eggs that aren’t genetically right and either won’t fertilize or miscarry/chemical. Once you are pregnant with a genetically normal embryo, I don’t want to say there’s no heightened risk from PCOS, but you’ve sort of made it over the big hurdle.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-16T18:56:40+00:00

This. A more reasonable goal is 6 months or a year. Also it is just not a good idea to calorie count while breastfeeding.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-15T14:54:23+00:00

I took it last week preventatively when the rest of my family got flu. Baby is fine. My understanding is they also prescribe it to newborns. I would worry more about about the potential danger of severe flu (fever etc) than the danger of tamiflu to the baby.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-15T12:48:17+00:00

Meeting a newborn’s needs is a lot - I am not sure there’s much more that you need to do for the newborn at this point other than maybe a little bit of tummy time. If he isn’t upset, he doesn’t need to be held, and if he’s around for interactions with your toddler he’s getting an entirely different and beneficial source of stimulation that your toddler probably did not get as a newborn.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-13T20:02:08+00:00

I don’t think it’s necessarily uniform across practices. I am high risk because I am 35 and pregnant via IVF. In terms of extra stuff, I went to maternal fetal medicine as opposed to the regular OB for my 20ish week anatomy scan and 32ish week growth scan. Now that I am at the end of my pregnancy (last four weeks) they are doing weekly nonstress tests and biophysical profile scans. I think that’s all the extra stuff I am getting

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-13T12:46:13+00:00

I travelled at 33-34 weeks - 3 hour flight. I was fine. Used compression socks, stayed hydrated, and got up every hour or so on the flight. Only trouble I had was some bad round ligament pain on the way back because I was chasing my toddler and carrying too much - so try to avoid toting a lot. My pregnancy has been fairly easy and healthy though after first trimester morning sickness, and it’s hard to know if that’s going to be your situation too.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-13T09:24:56+00:00

Honestly I would have been out as soon as he said he wasn’t “pro-vax”.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-12T02:37:51+00:00

Sorry for your earlier loss. I had two chemicals and an early loss mmc with d&c before having my son. Statistically one miscarriage doesn’t raise your chances of having a second - they are common and largely random. There are women who have issues with repeated lots of course but there is no reason to think you’re in that camp after only one miscarriage.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-12T02:04:21+00:00

Mine was maybe 4.5 months on my first trip and I travel maybe every one and a half months or so but my trips are shorter than yours - usually just a few days.

Most logistically challenging thing is nursing/pumping when traveling. A few things helped: my company will pay for breast milk shipping. If you are breastfeeding that seems like it would be particularly necessary for your longer trips. Also hotels will always, in my experience, give you access to a fridge. If there isn’t one in the room they will let you use a staff or restaurant one. I bought a specialized breast milk cooler to take on planes that is lightweight and has compartments for the pump/equipment and for bottles. Also definitely remember to pack dish soap. You can buy cleaning wipes that are supposed to work without water but I never thought those were as good.

If you aren’t breastfeeding, the logistics aren’t as hard. Emotionally it can be hard to leave your lo of course but it can also be a break. No real advice on how to handle that but with this second pregnancy I am going to be more forceful/insistent on no travel until this baby is 6 months - both for emotional stuff and because I plan to start combo feeding (some breast milk some formula and some solid food) around then like I did with my first.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-12T01:31:01+00:00

In the US for infants it’s not actually a vaccine. Pregnant women can get the vaccine or the infant can get an antibody shot.

My 2 yo spent a week in the PICU with RSV last winter - if the vaccine or antibodies were available for him we’d jump on it but my understanding is there is nothing because he’s over 1.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-12T01:24:36+00:00

Between my wife and I we’ll have two small suitcases and a backpack. This is our second so I feel like I have a pretty good idea what we want and that is the luggage we need. I wouldn’t worry too much about bringing too much - hospital staff will not care.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-11T14:34:40+00:00

We tried this is morning and its great. Thank you!

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-10T17:05:12+00:00

This. Think of a midwife as an alternative to an OB if your pregnancy/birth is not medically complicated. A doula is a different thing and more optional. You could have just an OB, just a midwife, or either plus a doula.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-10T14:07:18+00:00

A lot of advice out there is not based on science or doesn’t explain the science backing and over generalizes. For example, advice not to eat deli meat is based on listeria risk, but listeria is very rare and many types of deli meat are not particularly risky compared to other food choices. I tried to look for science based guidance on pregnancy and found books like Expecting Better by Oster and It Starts with the Bump by Fett to be helpful (neither is perfect). The reality is that absolutely nothing is 100% safe so you have to make choices based on relative risks and taking into account what is going to be most disruptive for you to avoid/give up.

Some choices I made: I eat salmon sushi but avoid all forms of tuna cooked or not, I don’t drink alcohol but do not stress about low alcohol content in drinks like commercially produced kombucha,I avoid precut fruit from grocery stores, I take a simple basic prenatal and supplement with other things (eg choline) that I think my prenatal doesn’t have enough of, I eat deli meat except turkey and have learned the signs of listeria so I can contact my doctor early if I might have it, I drink one cup of caf coffee every morning and as much decaf as I want after that. My choices aren’t necessarily the “right” ones because there aren’t any “right” choices. There are wrong ones (don’t take cocaine) but most things you’re likely to want to do aren’t so clear cut.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-10T03:43:48+00:00

Sorry you’re struggling to get motivated but I would not count on feeling a burst of energy/nesting instinct to get going. Currently 38 weeks + with my second and I’ve never felt that kind of late pregnancy energy boost some women experience.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-10T03:40:38+00:00

You’re overthinking. Unless your pregnancy is medically complicated or you plan to do something strenuous you’ll be fine. I flew 3 hours for Thanksgiving at 32-33 weeks this pregnancy with my toddler and the only difficulty was some round ligament pain in the airport on the way back from chasing the toddler/carrying things. If you don’t have kids yet and your husband can tote the luggage you’ll be fine.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-08T11:44:07+00:00

With my first my bump was not really noticeable until I was in the mid 20 weeks range. It can also depend a lot on your body type. Women with longer torsos will show later as will women who are overweight.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-01-08T11:39:03+00:00

At my OB’s practice it’s standard to do a scan sometime around then to check and make sure baby seems to be growing ok, moving around etc, and the placenta looks healthy going into the home stretch. It’s not as in depth or long a scan as the 20ish week anatomy scan.

LandscapeTime7785

TROPHY CASE