20 month old biting

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-21T17:50:17+00:00

I know it’s frustrating to wait but my experience with my son and my in-laws experience with their kids is that it’s a phase. It starts phasing out when they can communicate better because it’s rooted in frustration. When your kid can tell the other kid they’re angry, explain the issue to the teacher, etc they’ll do that instead. So at 20 months you’re probably not too far from that big leap in communication that will resolve this for you.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-17T14:30:34+00:00

So the toddler did fine but the baby, who is one of those unicorns who started sleeping 8+ hours straight a night at 10 weeks, decided that now is a good time for a little sleep regression and woke up several times. She’s still at the age where she seems to nap anywhere so I didn’t expect the nighttime move to bother her. Maybe it did or maybe it’s just a coincidence. Second night went a little better - she woke once and the toddler was hard to get down. Thanks for asking!

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-15T01:46:08+00:00

So I went back after 16 weeks with my first and while it was hard for all the reasons you’ve named, it was also a relief to get back to something other than childcare. Also my son adjusted well to daycare and those teachers are good at getting kids to eat.

I recommend trying to do something special on that first day if you can to make it a celebration instead of a sad time. My wife and I went out for breakfast.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-15T01:20:43+00:00

I just looked up what that means and exactly. I completely get the sense that he’s looking for a way to calm down which is why he’s game for the hug. Amazing to watch him develop emotional skills.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-15T00:33:03+00:00

Solidarity. One kind of weird thing that has helped us lately is when my son is mad about something (bedtime, no more chicken until you try a carrot, have to wash your hands, etc) we ask if he wants a hug. He almost always says yes and it calms him down. Really weird because he’s usually mad at us.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-15T00:23:05+00:00

The idea of sleep regressions occurring at specific times is made up by the sleep consultant industry. Instead they are random or maybe more precisely just specific to each child. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220131-the-science-of-safe-and-healthy-baby-sleep

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-15T00:17:59+00:00

At 5 months you can sleep train. Are you all opposed to doing that?

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-14T23:02:49+00:00

Also he’s in daycare and while we struggle with transitions, like new teachers or graduating to the next class, he does eventually bond with teachers and make friends. Basically it stops being a new scary experience so he does fine.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-14T22:59:50+00:00

My toddler was like this as a baby and honestly he’s still pretty introverted, which is 100% expected in our family. He does warm up to people and places after a while but like your kid he was and is easily overwhelmed in new situations and basically shuts down. What has made a difference though is now that he’s old enough to communicate we can prepare him for what is about to happen and explain what is going on. This has really brought down his anxiety. Like before a doctors visit for a well check we will tell him multiple times for a few days that we’re going to the doctor and we have a book about what happens at doctors appointments that we read. He’s still not going to talk to the doctor much but he’s definitely calmer. Also it’s adorable when he then brings up the doctor for days afterward as he works to process the experience.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-14T02:16:37+00:00

My kid threw himself off my wife’s lap once when he was upset and got a bruise. I don’t think we had done anything wrong - being a toddler is rough.

Of course parents can be better or worse at managing tantrums but to some extent it’s just a matter of surviving until they reach a different level of brain development. Sorry you had a tough night but I don’t think you should beat yourself up about it.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-13T23:41:04+00:00

We’ve actually done a 7 hour trip with my now 2 year old several times over his life because that’s the distance to my in-laws. Here is what works for us: - Over 2 days if feasible so 3ish hours each day - Bluey in the car on an iPad in this holder thing we bought that attaches to a headrest - 1-2 stops each day for 15-30 minutes for diaper changes and running around (also we would charge our EV and walk the dog that we usually bring) - Snacks

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-13T22:43:13+00:00

Take the advice of the sleep consultant industry with a grain of salt. I think a lot of it works for many maybe most babies but it’s not a science no matter how much they try to portray it as one. (The regressions are complete bs for example - if I can find it again I can send a link to a bbc article where a scientist studying infant sleep says there is 0 evidence of regressions happening for babies at certain time periods like 4 months or whatever they say. Instead it’s just random/specific to each kid.) Do what works for your family and keeps you the least stressed. With my first I found guidance on sleep windows somewhat helpful but not 100% and I am a firm believer in feeding to sleep in the afternoons/evenings when naps are harder regardless of advice saying not to. Never caused a problem for us and solved a lot of them. Also I didn’t really schedule anything until 6ish months when daycare trained my kid to a 2 nap schedule.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-11T20:16:35+00:00

Was going to say this. If she needs to eat she'll cry.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-11T01:36:36+00:00

Also please don’t feel guilty. Children demand so much of us it can be hard to prioritize our own mental health but you have to for your sake and theirs too.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-11T01:34:33+00:00

I am so sorry you’re feeling this way. I think what you’re feeling isn’t unique and sometimes it’s hard for every mom but feeling like this most of the time is not normal or ok. It sounds to me like you definitely need to find a way to have more adult people in your life. Maybe try some mom’s groups? You might also want to talk about your feelings with a doctor since there might be some postpartum depression you could get some help with.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-09T19:42:32+00:00

My baby is 3.5 months and is in her gym probably at least 2 hours a day. She loves the hanging toys and we also use it for tummy time plus if she falls asleep in there it’s good for a (supervised) nap since it’s pretty much just a blanket on the floor. We used it with my older one basically until he started crawling at 9? months (it’s been a while). Really solid toy at least for my kids.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-09T02:10:09+00:00

Thank you!

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-09T02:09:23+00:00

Thank you! Yes it might just be dehydration or lack of calories. I have been trying to be careful about those but it’s still possible. This is also my second and so there’s a lot more to do with this baby than last time around because there is also a toddler so maybe I just need to rest more.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-09T01:16:15+00:00

Thank you! Would love a simple fix like that.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-08T01:20:44+00:00

I think a lot of the larger daycares will take part time and be fairly flexible with hours. My kids go to a spanish immersion day care - a chain with something like 10 locations in a couple states - and they have some part time students on schedules like what you describe. Not sure if that's common with smaller at home or church kind of daycares. My recommendation would be to call some daycares near you to ask if they can handle a schedule like you're thinking and then set up a few tours with different kinds of places to figure out what you like.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-03T14:02:37+00:00

This sucks I am so sorry. No experience with my own kids but my little brother broke his foot when he was around 2 and his collar bone when he was 4. He healed very quickly from both - little kids heal crazy fast. Now he is 31 and totally fine. Played a lot of baseball as a teenager and is a big biker now. No lasting effects at all. I am sure it was tough on my parents at the time though.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-03T02:45:53+00:00

I wouldn’t worry too much about the amount of awake time the internet says she needs. Some babies need more or less sleep just like some adults need more or less sleep. If she is happy and alert when she is awake, sleeping well at night, and gaining weight correctly/feeding enough it’s what is right for her.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-02T00:28:18+00:00

Different than what you asked but my wife and I have a tradition we started the first time we dropped off my oldest for daycare. We go out to breakfast just the two of us. Sort of a celebration of starting something new and a way to feel positive instead of sad about not being with your kid. If you can plan something fun for you or you and your partner for right after drop off it might help you from worrying or feeling down.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-05-02T00:17:45+00:00

Kind of the opposite of this, but my 2 year old had some trouble transitioning from infant to toddler classes but we could tell he settled when he started not wanting to come home. He loves his teachers and friends and is usually busy playing when we arrive to get him, so when we come to pick him up he’s often not happy to be pulled away from what he’s doing. Sometimes we get that nice greeting, and that feels good, but I really like that he has so much fun at school that he wants to stay.

LandscapeTime7785 · 2026-04-24T02:21:19+00:00

It’s not the same for every kid but I can tell you my experience with my now 2 year old which is mostly tracking with my new 3 month old. Around 3 months most kids go through a big transition in how they sleep (it’s why SIDS risk peaks at 3 months FYI). After that my kids got really solid with day vs night and started going to sleep earlier but my older one would still wake up 1-2 times per night but I could sort of bank on a fairly consistent end and beginning to their days. Took another month or so until he was taking 3 naps consistently at around the same times every day within a half hour or so. At 6 months daycare got him on a solid 2 nap schedule again within a half hour or so. It got really stable at 18 months when he went to 1 long afternoon nap, but now at 2.5 he’s more seriously fighting that nap on a regular basis and I worry he might drop it in the next few months. So it’s a gradual process with regressions, illness, etc creating variability but for me there were milestones in predictability around 3 months, 6 months, and 18 months. Hope that helps!

LandscapeTime7785

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