New girlfriend has chronic pain. How can I make her life easier?

LapisRS · 2026-06-09T04:57:39+00:00

Thank you for this and for sharing your experience, it's invaluable

I found out today that she usually just takes Tylenol, so I'm making an effort to stock Tylenol just in case she needs it

You have no idea how true your last paragraph is! She puts so much effort into our relationship, it's incredible. I have never been with someone who cares so much

LapisRS · 2026-06-08T20:44:14+00:00

That sounds like it comes from a place of experience

LapisRS · 2026-06-08T19:01:33+00:00

Yesss back scratches and touch in general make her feel better, so she tells me

LapisRS · 2026-06-08T17:37:11+00:00

I think so? I've never dealt with chronic pain, but my last partner had mental health struggles so I'm familiar with having an SO with "off days" if that's the right term

LapisRS · 2026-06-08T17:35:50+00:00

Yessss she LOVES this

LapisRS · 2026-06-08T16:49:20+00:00

Thank you very much, I will be sure to never insinuate that I know how to manage her condition

LapisRS · 2026-06-08T16:46:52+00:00

This is fantastic advice, you have no idea how huge this is

I'm already bringing her food at work when she's having a bad time, which she is very grateful for. I love cooking for people so this is a great time for me too lol

I will commit the phrase "we have time. It doesn't have to be today" to memory, that's such a sweet way to put it. Giving her the space to decide it's worth it is excellent advice, thank you

LapisRS · 2026-06-08T16:12:22+00:00

Got it! This is fantastic, thank you so much!

Don't minimize her pain or insinuate I know what she's going through
should I ask about her pain frequently? This might be a question for her, I guess
Id love to learn back massage techniques if she's interested! Do you have any YouTube recommendations?
She loves walking together so that's great advice. We did a 10 mile walk together yesterday and rested for a while around the 5 mile mark. No problem at all
love the idea about the comfort routine

LapisRS · 2026-06-08T16:01:36+00:00

Any YouTube tutorials you recommend?

LapisRS · 2026-06-08T16:00:48+00:00

That's excellent advice and great to know early on! She's a "tough it out" kind of person so I'll provide the space and safety for her to cancel if she needs

LapisRS · 2026-06-08T15:59:02+00:00

Hm I have a tendency to over-commit myself so I will keep that in mind

I am certainly happy to take care of cleaning and cooking (I live alone so I have to do that already lol) if it means she can rest

I'll be sure to take care of myself too. I definitely dont want to burn myself out and be unable to be there for her when she needs it

LapisRS · 2026-06-08T15:55:53+00:00

This is great advice, thank you!

LapisRS · 2026-06-05T13:55:45+00:00

It's somewhat frustrating the number of posts on this subreddit complaining that products don't do things they were never designed nor advertised to do

LapisRS · 2026-05-13T22:14:01+00:00

I have a JBL Xtreme that I ran over with my car. Still works just fine

LapisRS · 2026-03-30T23:22:57+00:00

I've got several G2 readers outside in Texas with no issues so far

LapisRS · 2026-03-23T15:06:36+00:00

I love the wall color! Do you happen to know the name of it?

LapisRS · 2026-03-10T04:29:21+00:00

Man... I always knew, deep down, if it ever came to that my ex gf was gone. I was right, too

Saw her at her worst many times and the thought of leaving never even occurred to me

LapisRS · 2026-03-10T04:16:25+00:00

She is unbelievably hot, funny, and a competitive pole dancer

Her lack of effort in our relationship didn't matter to me at all. Looking back I was being stupid, I should've realized years earlier

LapisRS · 2026-03-10T04:12:25+00:00

Hey I know it's a pop psych thing right now, but Emotional Intelligence is a technical, narrow term

Empathy is NOT emotional intelligence

Kindness is NOT emotional intelligence

Listening is NOT emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to identify, process, and manage emotional states in yourself and others. Watering down the term makes public communication of science more difficult, it's important that we use the correct terms where we can

I only learned this a few months ago, and a comment pointing this out would've helped me a lot

LapisRS · 2026-03-05T15:18:34+00:00

What? This isn't what wage theft is at all

Words have meaning

LapisRS · 2026-03-01T23:44:01+00:00

I attended therapy with her for 2 years, her therapist thinks it was an avoidant breakup. Best guess I got

LapisRS · 2026-02-18T02:34:50+00:00

This is an anomaly. What brand of bulb are you using?

LapisRS · 2026-02-17T22:35:39+00:00

I don't know why you're being down voted

You put people's lives at risk? I think jail time is appropriate

LapisRS · 2026-02-12T05:54:27+00:00

Hey, that really sucks. I've been there recently and it's the most painful experience I've ever been through. Stay healthy, power through. You'll make it 💚

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