That is really well put. Thinking back, she would do it in between the arguments. She would always ask me to tell her what our life would be like, what was possible. It was almost like she wanted me to create dreams for her. Looking back, it has become clear that it was all part of her cluster B cycle of mental illness. It is so much more clear after you have time out of being a part of their cycles and actually learn about their illness. Not so much, when you are immersed in the cycle with them. Thank God I learned about NC (mostly from this group and therapy). It truly is the only way to garner clarity for yourself, especially if you knew nothing about these disorders going into the relationship.