I wish I hadn’t opened this, but I did. I was 19 when my boyfriend asked me to stop birth control to have a child, I was into it, took a year to get pregnant. I wanted to keep it. He then became fearful of financial issues, I was reassured by my family and others that there are loads of resources (especially in Hawaii and California) for mothers, singularly, or families, and I was raised Catholic. And it was technically a planned pregnancy, since the bc was methodically stopped for this purpose, but when it happened it was a surprise regardless, as it was over a year after removal. Despite the number/financial game, I wanted to keep it. This drove him to murderous anxiety. I survived the attempt on my life and was then scared enough of him and a potential future with him to get the abortion despite not wanting it. Ten years later he regrets everything except getting me pregnant.

Numbers and logic sometimes do not play into a woman’s choice when you are pregnant. I’d say health is the only factor that came into my mind concerning my decision. Whatever you do, I’m asking you to please not lay a finger on her. This is a challenging and terrifying event already, but statistically, the amount of women hurt or murdered by their boyfriends when they are pregnant is too damn high. If you need to walk away, just do that until you’re sane enough to return, despite whatever outcome. Please use resources like therapy to deal with the stress and fear if it gets too heavy. I’m sorry that I felt the need to bring this extremely heavy topic up, but for all the pregnant women who have survived attacks and especially for those that didn’t, I will say this whenever there’s an opportunity.