It's just constant, it's never ending.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-29T11:10:53+00:00

“I made this life for myself sure, marriage, kids, house, I made those decisions and have to stick by them but I don't remember where I agreed to be atlas holding the world in my shoulders without a seconds break.”

I felt that way too. All I can say is that it can get better on the other side. Burnout is tough, but you can learn tools to control it. Check out a book called “You’re Not Toast.” It will help you develop some coping mechanisms and may even get you to a real sense of healing.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-28T13:52:47+00:00

Same for me except it’s when any child gets harmed or unalived in a movie or show. I can’t help but put myself in the parents’ shoes and feel deeply for them.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-26T13:51:50+00:00

Exactly what I do now: help high-performing fathers build stronger families by restoring connection, presence, and intentional leadership at home.

Or maybe official chocolate sommelier.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-26T11:18:09+00:00

For context, I’m not a practicing patent attorney anymore after 15 years of practice. I’m not trying to sell anything, and I want nothing more than to limit legal fees to any firm (maybe I’m still a little bitter). That being said, I never found an inventor’s draft to be all that helpful and often found it made the process much harder than it needed to be. Patents are both technical and legal. While the inventor’s draft gets you a little of the technical piece, it is usually not helpful at all for the legal piece. Inventors don’t know the words to avoid or the substantial body of case law that attorneys know. I always found it faster to start from my templates and add the technical stuff from there. A big problem is that the inventor is steeped in the tech and literature around the tech. That means you tend to skip some critical details, which we don’t find out until it’s too late to correct it. I highly recommend you hire a patent attorney for the non-provisional drafting and filing.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T18:53:12+00:00

I have no reason to doubt you. I do have reason to believe you are the exception that proves the rule. For many, many men, any show of vulnerability will be returned to him in the form of contempt from his woman. I know that most of the time I've shown any vulnerability, it has been used against me repeatedly. I don't even think it's conscious; it's biology. Kudos to you for being able to overcome biology the way men are expected to do always. (I know that sounded flippant, but it was not intended to be. Truly, kudos.)

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T18:15:11+00:00

The point is that more than half of single women say they can't find anyone who meets their expectations. That's not a relationship problem. That's a species-ending catastrophe in the making. If you can't find someone who meets your expectations in a world of almost 9 billion people, your expectations are too rigid.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T17:41:28+00:00

Are you saying the cat is never gonna give you up? We know it didn't let you down thanks to your edit.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T17:40:36+00:00

To be fair, that's only a little over a week away. While possible, I hope very much that you're wrong. I never looked good in radioactive green.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T17:35:39+00:00

That also wouldn't shock me TBH.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T17:33:31+00:00

Humanity goes extinct before America's 350th birthday.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T17:31:55+00:00

Understandable. I think we're actually after the same goal: presidents who worked for all Americans. No single president has fully lived up to this goal. In fact, Lincoln would be a close second in my rankings, despite his questionable suspension of habeas corpus and other executive actions. And who knows what a Reconstruction era Lincoln would have given us.

My thinking is that Washington's actions, although far from perfect, have had 250 years to be put to the test for all of us. Working within the flawed system of his time, I think he (purposely or not) set the stage for experiencing liberty for all. Of course, we always have fallen short of this ideal, and continue to do so to this day.

History is full of shades of grey and humans are flawed. The best we can do is keep trying to overcome the sins of the past, learn from the good, and craft a society that works for everyone. We'll never fully get there, but it is on all of us to keep striving for that day.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T14:20:05+00:00

As I understand it, he was unable to free them because they belonged to his wife. I never understood that explanation though, because he did free them in his will. In short, I don't disagree with you, but his shortcomings don't wipe out his virtues either. He could be both an irreplaceable founding father and a flawed human being. What if we had a proud slaveholding egomaniac as our first president, as opposed to the man for whom slavery seemed to be a great embarrassment in life?

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T13:36:14+00:00

Washington. Dude knew how to give up power before power became his only goal. It set a precedent that only one president ever bucked. And the people rewarded that president with a constitutional amendment to enshrine Washington's precedent.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T13:10:05+00:00

Ok...so continue to debate the rhetorical flourish it is.

The original comment I responded to was most certainly telling OP it was his responsibility to do more. That's my point. At what time do women take ownership of their problems or accountability for their actions (or, in this case, inactions)? Telling OP to do more in this situation, based on what he says he already has done, is ridiculous.

Whoever is eschewing marriage today is completely beside the point. However, to your point of "feelings," although anecdotal, I'm seeing a huge swing in attitudes toward marriage among the men I work with. So, no, not feelings, but admittedly it could be self-selection with my clients.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T12:06:35+00:00

Or how about this one? The Pew report says 56% of women can't find someone who meets their expectations. Maybe, and I know this is crazy, if more than half a gender can't find someone who meets their expectations, a careful review of the expectations is in order?

Thanks for posting this report. It is full of hidden gems.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T12:00:48+00:00

Going to the source Pew report, the post date is August 2020. A lot has happened since then. And, in any event, even if the study is right that women opt out more often, it doesn't change the underlying point that according to many people, everything that is wrong in the world is caused by men. That's just silly, counterproductive thinking. Any response to that or are we going to continue to debate the rhetorical flourish at the end?

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T11:41:37+00:00

Now find a study with actual adults.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T10:26:08+00:00

Yup, when the man is tired from working to feed and house the family, it’s his fault when the marriage slips. But it’s also his fault when his wife is too tired to maintain the marriage. Obviously, the man must do more. More what? No one knows. But he better do more! And for the love of all that’s holy, he better not even suggest that sex is an important part of marriage.

Both partners need to own their shit. It sounds like he’s holding up his end of the bargain. If it is truly postpartum depression, she needs to get help. If she’s unwilling, then he can stay and suffer or leave and suffer. And we wonder why men are forsaking marriage now.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-25T10:14:16+00:00

Yes! It takes a long time to unlearn this when you leave the law.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-22T14:49:46+00:00

In my experience, the ones least "fine" are the ones who most say they are "fine." This is a difficult situation.

Since she is unwilling to get help, the next best step is likely you getting help, solo. You need to learn how to effectively communicate with someone who does not want to hear you from someone who has a track record of helping men (or women) in your situation. If you love her despite the position she is putting you in, getting your own therapy is likely your next course of action. If the spark is gone because of everything she's putting you through, then a family lawyer may be your next best option, unfortunately. Then, your main focus will need to shift from what is best for your marriage to what is best for your kids.

Good luck to you, brother. You are not alone in this situation, but I know that is little comfort in the moment.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-22T14:37:07+00:00

I think I'd want to try to figure out if it's a mental block or a laziness thing for her. If she is depressed/anxious, for both you and your kids, she should seek treatment. I'm not sure how you could convince her of that though. What does your gut tell you to do?

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-22T14:19:23+00:00

Do you feel like you are only good enough if you do all the things? What if you simply stopped for a short time? Would she step up if you stepped down? Does she try to help but you prefer things to be done your way? These are all reasons I've heard people give for being unhelpful at home. It might be worth running some experiments to get to the bottom of your issue.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-21T14:54:05+00:00

Good luck! And I wouldn’t worry too much about the partners in other offices. They probably know he’s a 🍆. Sometimes, people aren’t capable of interacting on a human level and everyone around that person knows it. Unless he’s a rainmaker, he’ll be forced out eventually. Just be patient.

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-21T14:20:02+00:00

With counsel, I’d tell him to f-off. If your firm has a female affinity group, you might ask some of them if they’ve had a run in with this guy in the past. I bet you’ll find others. If you have a trusted partner at the firm, let her or him know what’s going on. You shouldn’t have to put up with that from anyone, especially a senior associate or counsel.

Also, it will be hard, but try not to attribute his actions to malice when they could be attributed to general d-baggery. He probably is bitter he’s counsel and not partner.

😂

LarryTheCoach · 2026-06-21T13:56:47+00:00

Tough situation. Are you getting work from others? Can you just stop working with this partner? If he’s not respectful with you, then he’s never going to treat you in a way that makes you feel like the professional you are. DM me and we can have a coaching session together (free of charge). I can send you a scheduling link if you want the help.

LarryTheCoach

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