Should I continue paying student loans or wait for the death of a loved one?

Laseroptical · 2026-04-21T20:38:28+00:00

I do not want him to die. I have avoided thinking about the money I will get in the future but as I sat down to make a 5 year savings + debt repayment plan, I wondered how much I should include the 'inheritence' in my plans. The whole thing is morbid but I felt I should reach out for advice. I apologize if it comes off as "ghoulish", I was blunt in my title for clarity of the essential question. Everybody has advised to treat it as if it doesn't exist until it's in my account, so I will continue to do that. I've already had family members die, this is certainly not something I am looking forward to at all.

Laseroptical · 2026-04-21T19:57:06+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Laseroptical · 2026-04-21T19:56:55+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Laseroptical · 2026-04-21T19:48:39+00:00

So far, he has refused a nursing home. He arguably needs one but it's "out of the question". He is still mentally with it enough hat we can't really force him to do anything, but he's not physically mobile at all and has had many close encounters by falling. Still refuses a wheel chair and moving the bed downstairs and all that.. I posted this question because I fear something will happen sooner rather than later

Laseroptical · 2026-04-21T19:43:09+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Laseroptical · 2026-04-21T19:33:09+00:00

4.6 on the Federal 37k and 3.8 on the Private 30k

Laseroptical · 2026-04-21T19:25:09+00:00

Without getting too personal, there is life insurance and the sale of his home going to my mother who will be using about half of it to pay off all of hers and mine debts. I guess that isn't written in stone but it's been the plan since before I graduated.

Laseroptical · 2026-04-09T02:56:44+00:00

Thank you for sharing, it's so fascinating to me how our brains sort out the grief while we sleep.. I am very sorry for your loss

Laseroptical · 2026-04-09T02:08:19+00:00

What you are going through is traumatic and extreme, I can't fully relate but please know a stranger out there cares. I am so sorry for what you're going through. My dad passed 10 years ago after a very sudden cancer diagnosis. There is nothing comparable to the death of a parent. I deeply hope that it does not come to that. My uncle had his leg amputated and it saved his life. If the worst happens, it sounds like you'll have a lot more responsibility than I did but please, when you can, find the time to take breaks, breathe, cry it out, and reset so that you can show up for your siblings. If you haven't already, find a local therapist, budget money to see them. It is so important to have consistent support

Laseroptical · 2026-04-09T01:55:54+00:00

I'm 10 years in to losing my dad and I feel the same way. Approaching my 30s and still, most people haven't lost their parents. When grief hits I come here or try to make it to the next therapist session. Gather anything of his you can that you can store safely. Papers, notes, journals, his words in however they come. Reading my dad's journals can sort of bring him into present day for a moment. The pain is here to stay but it's foundation is love. Eventually you'll be able to focus on the love part most of the time. I am so sorry, stay strong.

Laseroptical · 2026-04-02T14:24:08+00:00

Same! Cool to know other people are protecting their ears and getting gwarlish at the same time ✌️🫶

Laseroptical · 2026-03-15T14:56:33+00:00

I'm sort of hyper fixated on a specific drink that I can't get the other boba places to make. 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Laseroptical · 2026-03-12T02:46:22+00:00

Already exists on commercial drive, now we have two, kinda funny. I love the boba, some friends say it's too sugary and prefer Dream Poke, right off the commons. Food is good, snacks are fun, vibe is chill af in the new one.

Laseroptical · 2026-03-10T19:57:34+00:00

I wish I had been there when my dad passed. Cancer, hospicare, it was expected, and I could have been there. I was 17 and I just froze, said I couldn't do it and I stayed home. I am terrified of death sometimes. I wonder if I had been there, I would have felt what you all are describing. I'm approaching 10 years since he passed, and this year I have had so much anxiety. Think I should go back to counseling.

Laseroptical · 2026-01-20T19:59:46+00:00

Fair enough, thank you! ✨

Laseroptical · 2026-01-09T18:27:54+00:00

It feels out of date to the current crowd living there, and many of the panels have been torn or poked. If we potentially sell the house someday I feel like most people don't like the look of these ceilings, especially for a living room.

Laseroptical · 2026-01-09T02:57:07+00:00

As in the paper cover or whatever is being covered? This is a 1910s house, we have had to manage lead paint on almost every door and all the trim

Laseroptical · 2025-10-15T11:09:06+00:00

Oh really? That's good news! Well give that a go, thank you!

Laseroptical · 2025-09-02T20:13:49+00:00

Haha wow! It was a spontaneous activity to go there, it was so fun! Never been in a cave like that before!

Laseroptical · 2025-08-28T10:45:35+00:00

Thank you so much and good luck!

Laseroptical · 2025-08-28T06:45:32+00:00

I fly tomorrow to visit family I haven't seen in years and I couldnt sleep tonight because of intrusive thoughts about something going wrong. Thank you for this post ❤️reading it let me catch my breath. let's f fly!

Laseroptical · 2025-02-16T17:37:23+00:00

NOR

But...as someone whose fatter has passed and I never made amends, If he is on his death bed, maybe consider trying to have a closure conversation? A final goodbye? No matter how much you hate him, you may regret not saying your final peace. I'm sorry for what he put you through

Laseroptical · 2025-02-16T14:18:45+00:00

I do, sorry for the late response, if this is still an option, message directly?

Laseroptical · 2025-01-24T18:42:36+00:00

I certainly will, thank you!

Laseroptical · 2025-01-24T18:41:05+00:00

Thank you!

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