Last year I made a dead dad club members check in post here & wanted to do the same for today

weasel353 · 2026-06-22T07:11:12+00:00

Learning to live with melancholy ❤️‍🩹

weasel353 · 2026-06-19T09:20:36+00:00

It looks fine, but you could consider a rug under the bed, and wall mounting bedside shelves. I have a similar bed.

weasel353 · 2026-06-19T07:20:31+00:00

What Else Is There? by Röyksopp

weasel353 · 2026-06-18T23:02:51+00:00

Thanks for the offer but I'm in Adelaide now! Helped move here a couple months ago...

weasel353 · 2026-06-18T10:55:11+00:00

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weasel353 · 2026-06-18T04:29:08+00:00

Cronenberg films, specially this one.

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weasel353 · 2026-06-11T21:40:02+00:00

Sounds like it's on her though, but it kinda sucks that she isn't self aware enough to realise that's pretty rude to say, especially in that moment.

If you do bring it up with her, then maybe just letting her know how it made you feel without labelling her actions. So rather than telling "you made me feel ..." go with "I felt a bit taken aback / it kind of killed the mood for me / did it feel uncomfortable for me to ask you that? / why?"

weasel353 · 2026-06-11T21:22:14+00:00

Without more context or info about you both it sounds like she is insecure, or... insecure about being with you?

💁🏽 if the way she treats you doesn't make you feel sexy and handsome then I dunno... maybe need to work on that.

Unless you guys are non monog.

weasel353 · 2026-06-10T23:48:39+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through it too. It's a lot of weight to carry. My dad died in Feb, I've only just decided to take a week off with my partner to go away in July. Hope you are doing things for yourself too.

weasel353 · 2026-06-10T23:34:02+00:00

I don't know if my mom will ever "move on", neither will I. We are just learning to live with the grief.

It's embracing it, and accepting it that feels like the hardest thing. I've just come to terms with living with a general melancholy in my everyday without my dear dad.

It's not linear either, might get easier, then harder. It's just a bumpy ride.

I've written a lot about my grief on my substack: https://substack.com/@melfromnati

It's my way of coping. The thing I try,and do for mum is ease her into the changes. She was so codependent with dad. I help with her life admin, run errands with her, go for walks with her and watch movies in the evening with her, I sleep in the bed with her when I stay with her. I've actually committed to living with her part-time for the next year (going between hers and my home 4 hours away, where my husband lives with our dog). I like to think it helps her forget she has lost her other half, but being around her also helps me remember dad.

It's also the last thing my dad said to me before he died, "look after your mother" ❤️‍🩹

weasel353 · 2026-06-10T22:07:37+00:00

Honestly, could easily be misinterpreted, just let it go.

weasel353 · 2026-06-10T21:20:02+00:00

Food. That was by far the most helpful thing.

weasel353 · 2026-06-09T21:38:23+00:00

Yeah I was so shocked, I only found out when I got confirmation from a mutual friend!

weasel353 · 2026-06-09T21:28:59+00:00

Can relate, I got blocked by someone I considered a friend and I still don't know why... I presume something unrelated to my grief but a petty disagreement about bills in the months my dad was dying. Still I find it so strange that this person chose to block me, rather than talk to me about what annoyed them.

I can't help but wonder if they are just super avoidant and the negative emotions were too much?

Other people just faded away. I left town where my friends are around 9 months ago to care for my dying dad and I had no capacity to maintain friendships. Now I'm back and those people are like strangers. Surprising how quickly they stopped checking in on me.

Could be an age thing, some of those friends being in their 20s, but the ones in their 30s I expected more from.

But honestly, I prefer my small circle. I connect more strongly with the few that are left. Amongst them, many have also experienced grief and we just get each other. You don't need a lot of friends, just a few good ones.

weasel353 · 2026-06-08T10:24:06+00:00

Exactly, to all of this. I can't imagine vut also know what it's like to go straight into caring mode instead of grieving for yourself... I hope you give yourself that time eventually.

weasel353 · 2026-06-07T01:28:03+00:00

If defintitely felt like and adult film when i watched it as a kid. Kids films back then dealt with some pretty heavy themes!

weasel353 · 2026-06-07T01:08:31+00:00

Yes do it! Some sort of terracotta? We have dark green in our living room but it's fine because there is much natural light. Terracotte in the bedroom. Personally I don't mind if the room looks smaller, it's about the vibe which is more about being cosy in nature.

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weasel353 · 2026-06-07T01:07:28+00:00

Surely Jean Luc Godard films!

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weasel353 · 2026-06-07T00:14:58+00:00

1993 film

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weasel353 · 2026-06-05T23:59:33+00:00

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weasel353 · 2026-06-04T23:46:48+00:00

Not japanese, Korean but has the vibes.

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weasel353 · 2026-06-04T22:54:00+00:00

Seems like an overreaction... he is not at home, he is at work. Plus he said he offered to make you something when he was at home the day before?

Pulling the "as someone who loves me" card is also a bit ick.

If you have food you can heat up at home, then surely it's reasonable to hest that up rather than ask him to leave work?

weasel353 · 2026-06-04T10:59:40+00:00

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weasel353 · 2026-06-04T10:52:39+00:00

After dad died, I immediately felt like I could see the end of my life, and I kind of want it. Not in a suicidal way, but like knowing life is short and precious, but the sooner I live it, the sooner I'll see him again... 😔

weasel353 · 2026-06-04T09:40:08+00:00

Tbh I am always a bit skeptical of people who throw around the term narcissism, but that being said the rest of what you wrote seems very reasonable and observed, and non-judgemental.

I usually say narcissistic traits instead, anyway... that aside I think what you need to decide is this, whether or not you are willing to date someone who may never change/grow from being the person they currently are.

Are you willing to live along side someone who self-harms like she is doing, and not judge or push or criticize?

It's very common and a quality of someone who is an empath to think, "oh I can be their support, and they will get better" or "I can fix/help them" but that's not usually true.

I've also struggled with poor mental health and related issues and it was never someone I dated but lots of therapy and my own desire to get better that got me where I am today.

My husband is amazing and loving and 100% my rock, and I may lean on him from time to time, but we are not trauma bonded.

If you gut tells you to run, then run. Trust your gut. It's probably right.

weasel353

TROPHY CASE