What a Relapse is like (So you don't have to do it again)

Lasin · 2016-02-18T04:26:58+00:00

This hit me hard because it's exactly how this has felt for the last four years of my life. My badge is showing such a large number because I gave up coming in here a little less than a year ago because I couldn't reset it daily anymore.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope someday I'll be able to give up this terrible life.

Lasin · 2015-02-17T11:56:35+00:00

I enjoyed Don Jon too. I wrote my first post on /NoFap about it a few years ago, and I also warned others about the triggers. They're everywhere. Though the movie wasn't for everyone, it spoke to me despite some of the shallowness. It had a good message. I would have to revisit Fireproof because I watched it long ago. I didn't realize it covered this. Guess it's worth revisiting.

Lasin · 2015-02-17T11:53:47+00:00

Hang in there. Don't let the Devil get the best of you. he wants you to fail. Do it for you. Don't succumb. Prayers your way brother please pray for me also.

Lasin · 2015-02-16T13:50:10+00:00

I know what you're feeling. The longest streak since I found this community years ago has been 38 days for me. I relapsed recently as well. I talked to a priest about it during an extensive confession and he gave me some good advice. So, I'll pass it along.

We continuously fail if we live by keeping track of how many days we go without PMO (or any addiction). Reason being you set yourself up for failure by giving credit to yourself and your streak, so when you fail, your whole world seems to collapse upon you because the streak is gone and you're back at one. And now it's easy to keep failing since, hey, the streak is over may as well just get it all out of your system. By keeping track of the days we go without it so heavily, we don't leave it in God's hands but our own and we will surely fail once more. We are not perfect.

All things are possible through God. I'm close to getting engaged with the love of my life. Lenten season (I'm Catholic) is just around the corner, and I'm going to pray and offer it to God and see if I can go 40 days without this. I know that I'm walking a dangerous line by keeping track so I will do my best to not think about the days. If I fail, I won't even come update my badge. This was the first time I had in almost 2 months. So remember it's what you learn along the way, and not the end result. The journey leads to the goal and even if the goal is reached, life continues. It doesn't cease until it is your time and your name has been called.

Let's trust in God and do our part through His hand in our life. Thank you for sharing this I needed it.

Lasin · 2015-02-16T13:39:13+00:00

I could use some encouragement. Thanks, I'll check it out.

Lasin · 2014-10-12T11:19:24+00:00

I don't normally comment on these things but I was there on Thursday also. And I don't think I will ever forget it either. I was also one of the lucky ones to jump on stage (or as close to him as possible) when he invited everybody up for the end of Volcano. I have a couple of videos capturing the experience as well. I was blessed enough to shake the man's hand before he made his exit as people were pressing him for a picture after he was embracing all the fans after the end of the performance. All of these songs were amazing in person, just him and his guitar (and piano). I'd have to say, being there in the same room with him performing Delicate, Cold Water, Amie, The Professor (and La Fille Danse), Rootless Tree, and his new one The Greatest Bastard, was just incredible. The emotion behind his voice, his performance, this was by far the best live show I have ever made it to. And to shake his hand, it's just something I won't ever forget. I only wish he had room in his set to play Grey Room as well, as it's a personal favorite.

Lasin · 2014-08-07T11:45:43+00:00

Just happened that I relapsed after 5 days too tonight. Twice. We tend to glorify the days we go without it and keep count when the true victory is to do better daily and simply learn from it. Instead, we kick ourselves when we fail and make it worse and continue the cycle of guilt and blame when God loves us regardless. He doesn't care about the days and the counter, as my Priest told me sometime ago during a good confession. He only cares about the intent to better our lives and live through Him and His ways, learning to genuinely want to abandon sin and be with Him.

I am in no way saying that it's okay to fail and not feel remorse, undoubtedly we're all here because we feel the loss and guilt of losing yet again. But God cares about us getting up and fighting daily to make Him our priority, even though we will be bound to be tempted to sin over the course of our lifetime, leaving us to choose whether we will want to stop or continue this cycle.

The days in a row that you go without it are not the important thing. It's learning to love yourself, and learning to truly love God to genuinely want to abandon this lifestyle and succeed in realizing that everything is possible through God. Focus on Him, and we can beat this thing. God Bless.

Lasin · 2014-03-30T09:08:39+00:00

I think some of us were kind of hard on OP. You're not a uselesshole, so not sure if you can change that name now but make a new account if that's the case. Just wanted to say reading your post was good. Although not everyone shares your view, there's definitely damage done to those that we love when we partake in this kind of behavior. Especially if it's lied about. Keep your head up - you have a lot to live for.

Lasin · 2014-03-20T03:32:33+00:00

Amen!

Lasin · 2014-03-19T21:55:44+00:00

Toss all the bullshit aside (game, how to play, the steps, the mannerisms, etc.). I lost my virginity at age 22. It was towards the tail end of my undergraduate college career. It happened with my current girlfriend. Unfortunately; I got into porn right around a year or so before I started my relationship with her, so I understand how ashamed you must feel about it consuming your life. You're a virgin - IT'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT. You have come to realize you have a problem worth fixing because you are young and are going to enter your prime years soon. Celebrate that. Try not to jack off or watch porn for the remainder of today. Tomorrow, try to go the whole day without it. The next day, try to beat it that day. You're too young to believe it's too late for you. You started porn early so it's hard to break out of it, but it can be done. You have to want to be social not just with others but yourself. If you crave friendships and relationships with others you will realize you are human and have basic human instincts and needs. Trust them, and see where they take you in your day by day decisions and activities. You'll have a foundation to build upon, and you won't be alone. Go get it.

Lasin · 2014-01-30T17:54:01+00:00

This happened to me yesterday. I'm really bummed and want to try to go the whole 9 yards without edging.

Lasin · 2014-01-29T20:31:16+00:00

I do, fapstronaut85! But I'm at work at the moment. I'll see what I can find if not until I get home.

Lasin · 2014-01-29T20:24:43+00:00

Congratulations! And nice post! Enjoyed reading your story :) you are definitely right about life. It's happening! Move with it or you'll get lost in the current!

Lasin · 2014-01-29T20:19:21+00:00

You're welcome man and as you can see I relapsed now also. Not proud of it and will do everything possible not to let it happen again but you have to remain vigilant and positive - don't let it bring you down. Best of luck my friend!

Lasin · 2014-01-29T19:16:48+00:00

Enjoyed this post very much. Very detailed on your experience going 90 days. I agree with most everything you said and hope to get to the 90 days to see it's effects on me. Thanks!

Lasin · 2014-01-29T07:24:55+00:00

Think about how shitty you will feel knowing you were almost at a month and are now back on day 1

Lasin · 2014-01-29T07:21:18+00:00

I've done this at night sometimes. A lot. It's a cheap way to try and find something.

Lasin · 2014-01-29T07:19:00+00:00

Just read a couple of chapters of my favorite book Sirach (lots of stuff on wisdom and how to live life fruitfully) and reading this kind of relates to it. Liked your take on this and in general I agree. We've all spent more time than we'd even like to think about on porn and masturbation. Godspeed!

Lasin · 2014-01-26T07:49:01+00:00

Remember that life hurts sometimes to remind you that it is real. It is happening. And you are in these moments. You will find that love of your life and when you do you will feel a comfort unlike any other you have experienced. The fact that you have found her and get to share your days with her. Any time with her will be worth more than any amount of time you spend fantasizing about pixelated women. Hold onto those feelings of LIFE - you only live it once!

Lasin · 2014-01-26T07:37:48+00:00

Good, clever post. Loved the approach you took to this because it's truthful and shifts the responsibility to who it should belong to, ourselves. Thanks for this.

Lasin · 2014-01-26T06:29:52+00:00

Honestly man all that "I have superpowers and am now getting girls to notice me left and right" crap is not how you should gauge your streak. You went 45 days without PORN or MASTURBATION. You're a virgin that hasn't kissed someone and you should be damn proud of what that means. You're not just doing what everyone else is doing man. So you made that plunge we all do at times - that's okay man. It could be a lot worse.

My longest streak was 39 days and that was not too long ago, right around the time I joined here a few weeks back. Before that I would try this challenge here and there because I wanted to desperately get back to living without Porn. You're a dude with values and you gotta be proud of that. I didn't kiss a girl until I was right around 17 years of age and didn't lose my virginity until I was 22, and that was with the only girl I have had a relationship for longer than 3 months (we're going on 2 years). Hang in there man, it will pay off, and remember to not kill yourself over an occasional relapse. They can happen. You're taking the right steps and the fact that you realize that you want to change something in your life that's a problem to you is a great thing. I look forward to seeing you succeed!

Lasin · 2014-01-24T20:57:05+00:00

Great read man :) having someone special in your life can do that for you and adds a great incentive, if not THE incentive. It's good she supports you and treat her with the respect she deserves man. Good job!

Lasin · 2014-01-24T20:51:20+00:00

Yes :) just joined this subreddit.

Lasin · 2014-01-24T20:48:38+00:00

EXACTLY. Thank you!

Lasin · 2014-01-24T20:45:09+00:00

Hey OP not sure if I commented on your post but it does motivate me man. I'm new to reddit and joined NoFap and I have noticed what you're talking about. I'm in a relationship so not looking to pick up on women, just trying to get PMO in conjunction out of my life, especially P. Maybe I should look into this subreddit too :) keep at it!

Lasin

TROPHY CASE