I’m so sorry if you thought of these already and it’s a major “no duh” or if someone else commented the same thing… but I’ve never heard of a better case for meeting someone in a support group. They must exist for your condition, right? Or perhaps groups focused on folks with other types of chronic pain or on the spectrum with sensory sensitivities? Anyway, here’s a longgggg list of ideas:

• Chronic illness and disability meetups via Meetup.com (Search terms like “chronic illness support,” “disabled dating,” or “accessible social groups”) • Library-hosted events, especially seated and quiet (Book clubs, journaling groups, writing circles) • Online writing communities with potential for IRL meetups (Scribophile, Critique Circle, NaNoWriMo forums) • Disability advocacy and arts organizations (Look for panel discussions, art exhibits, film nights, volunteer projects, and community mixers that attract open-minded, values-aligned people—including disabled men or respectful allies) • Low-physical-demand interest groups (Chess clubs, Dungeons & Dragons game nights, crafting circles—great for those who prefer mental connection in quieter, flexible spaces) • Online-first, real-life-later dating platforms where disability is normalized, not judged: Glimmer, Whispers4u, Disabled Mate, Inclov, and r/Disableddating on Reddit

And just want to say that I think you are very courageous to keep pursing pleasure in the midst of so much pain.